You’re better off firing darts into a board

Get your scratchie advent calendar today

To be re-recorded on Sunday after the caller gets the wrong horse

I was probably drunk when I wrote this

There’s racetracks other than Flemington?

Much like Bruce Springsteen in 1984, we’re on fire

Scratched from the Melbourne Cup on vet’s advice

Too easy… FAR TOO EASY.

Another great race named after a famous mountain, and The Everest