So the first week of BBL 09 has come and gone like Sir Billy Snedden (Look that one up kids), so it’s time to look back at a few things that make the Big Bash the majestically weird competition it’s grown to become.

Numero Uno – Just call him Air Jordan

Now I could be incorrect here, but according to all those nerdy types who control advanced statistics, Chris Jordan is the best fielder in world cricket.

Dunno about saving 0.08 ‘mroe’ runs, but he absolutely does save 0.08 more runs.

The insanity of Lynnsanity

In what appeared to be a big blow for the 0-2 Heat before their trip to the smoke-filled SCG, Tom Banton supposedly went down with a bad case of the pre-game shits, causing considerable damage to a pocerlain throne.

Chris Lynn also appeared to have a case of the shits.

The difference was he took it out on the Sixers attack.

Lynn had been struggling with a rib problem before and during the game, although I imagine both of his feet have been throbbing since Thursday….

Yageddit?

‘Cause he kicked so much arse!

After a lazy 11 sixes to progress to 94 off 34, moving past a landmark 2000 BBL runs in the process, Lynnsanity was honour-bound to try and bring up the fastest Big Bash century ever seen with a big 6 down the ground, only to fall no more than 2 metres short of clearing the rope, holing out to Sean Abbott.

It means the Western Power maintenance man Craig Simmons still holds the record for the fastest Big Bash century, at 39 balls in BBL 03.

That innings is still right up there for greatest moments in Big Bash history.

The context for that knock was that Simmo had only come in to the Scorchers team as an injury replacement for Liam Davis… and then struggled to even reach double figures for a month, only for him to explode like Forrest Gump shattering his leg braces and out sprinting the kids on bikes.

Some things just can’t be explained by science – That majestic Thursday in January 2014 is included on the list.

It did make you forget that Matty Renshaw came in for the final 10 overs and hit 60 off 39 to push the score past an unassailable 200.

But after looking at Lynn’s performance, all I can say to you Matthew is, are you even trying?

Glenn Maxwell

After receiving the news that the King’s XI Punjab had picked him up for $2.2m AUD in the IPL, Maxi showcased how much of a bargain that was in his return to cricket from a mental heath break, reaching his 50 off 23 balls on his way to a destructive 83 off 39 balls (7 fours and 5 sixes), which ended up being more runs than the rest of his teammates combined.

In fact, the 4th umpire Phil Gillespie had more realistic catching chances against Maxi than the Heat did during the innings.

The Elbow Catch

BBL FIELDING.

A touch of irony

Yes, I’ve now used that joke twice in about 4 days – That’s how stretched for gags I am right now.

Haris ‘Wreck It’ Rauf going from Glenorchy to a Big Bash 5fer

What a rise for the uncapped Pakistani – He’s gone from demolishing Tasmanian Grade Cricket, to demolishing a Tasmanian team compromised of grade cricketers.

He was only supposed to play as a replacement for Dale Steyn, but I ask another question – Has Dale Steyn ever taken a Big Bash wicket, let alone a Big Bash 5fer?

There was also a wholesome moment involving Haris after the game – He gave the match ball to an Indian security guard (From Punjab) who he’d met before the game, and after they found out where each other came from, the security guard got emotional and gave Haris a hug.

Hopefully Immy and the boys back home saw that – Lovely stuff.

Whatever the hell happened on Monday

It’s not often that a team concede 198 in 18 overs (Obviously 2 overs for both teams were lost to rain), and 90 minutes later have you thinking “Hm, they probably should’ve won.”

Monday was just one of those once every 13 year kind of games.

I could actually talk about the Scorchers’ bowling attack getting slapped stupid for the 3rd consecutive game, this time by Jake Weatherald and Alex Carey, or the Scorchers blowing the best start ever seen in Big Bash history, but instead, for the 2nd time in 3 days, I’ll bring you another classic Big Bash Moment.

After bringing up the 100 run stand and his own half-century, Liam Livingstone deflects a ball onto his stumps, only for the heavy bails to strike again and deny Billy Stanlake a wicket.

Josh Inglis wants to take a single, but gets stranded in no man’s land when Livingstone waves him back.

Carey then picks up the ball and has a mad ping at the bowler’s end, with Inglis a good 500 yards out of his ground.

Only for the ball to miss the stumps by a bee’s dick.

Only in the Big Bash.

Anyway, the Scorchers got to 0/124 off 8.3, needing a manageable 75 to win off 57 balls, at which point the Strikers activated the cheat code that is Rashid Khan, who wiped out Livingstone and Inglis in consecutive deliveries, enough to completely bog down the Scorchers to the point that Ashton Turner and Mitch Marsh added 18 runs off the next 22 balls.

In all, the Scorchers lost 7/53 in 53 balls, and the end result was the Strikers winning relatively comfortably when the 18 overs were up.

Qais Ahmad

Young Qais is one of the many bowling machines to roll off the assembly lines of the ‘Slick Aghani Leggie’ Factory, headlined by the success of Rashid Khan, who apparently isn’t even the best bowler in his family.

After the things Rashid has done to the Scorchers, I’d like to meet his family and have that claim verified.

After making his debut for the Hurricanes late last season, Qais popped up again in their opening game against the Sixers in Alice Springs.

Defending a small total of 128, he cleaned out Dan Hughes with a direct hit in the 1st Over.

In his 1st Over with the ball, he dismissed Moises Henriques with his 2nd ball.

Then in his 2nd over, he took a lazy 3 wickets in 4 balls, to at one point hold figures of 4 wickets for 5 runs, leaving the Sixers face down in a puddle of their own making at 8/61.

A moment like that calls for a wild celebration, so he performed as many front flips as Tom Curran scored runs.

One.

His efforts pretty much won the ‘Canes the game, and the more you think about it, I think it makes sense for an Afghani to dominate on the same route as The Ghan.

The fun continued on Christmas Eve, when someone obviously told Qais to bowl like Big Merv.

He took it seriously.

“Hey Shaun, how’d it go?”

“I kept copping bouncers.”

“By the quicks?”

“No, by the leggie.”