The Bulldogs after losing 66-0 to the Knights and only being the second-worst shutout defeat of the weekend

What an absolutely incredible week of scoring and blowouts throughout Round 17

The Cowboys recording the 3rd-greatest winning margin in the history of First Grade with that 74-0 annihilation of Wests Tigers, completely reversing the 66-18 blowout in Round 12, which also stands as the greatest shutout win in history, and the greatest winning margin since television was introduced to Australia.

Then came Sunday and the Newcastle Knights, who had been positively woeful for months and were just 1 point ahead of their opposition on the ladder, ventured down to Stadium Australia and absolutely shit-slapped Canterbury to the tune of 66 points to nil, and hilariously, that game was a day shy of 2 years since Manly defeated the Bulldogs by the same scoreline, which means the Bulldogs have been on the receiving end of 4 out of the 7 greatest winning margins in history; 85 points (vs St George in 1935), 80 points (vs Easts a week later in 1935), and 66 points (twice).

It makes you forget, the Sharks dropped 52 points on the Dragons on Thursday night, but they didn’t shut the Red V out, so nobody really cared.

Of course, last weekend also marked the annual Beanies for Brain Cancer Round, so those 3 teams could’ve raised a couple of extra thousand dollars if they had an extra 10 minutes.

Anyway, we’re on to the last of the State of Origin club rounds for 2023, as New South Wales pray mercifully that the rampaging Cane Toads don’t wipe them out with a 3-0 clean sweep, and in a last-ditch effort to cover his arse for 2024, Brad Fittler dropped a host of players, among them Jarome Luai, which makes this seem a bit funny with the benefit of hindsight.

“Sorry Jerome, WE go again, not YOU.”

Now, as for events in club land, with 7 teams (Broncos, Cowboys, Knights, Panthers, Roosters, Sea Eagles & Storm) having byes for the Origin weekend to further piss around with the ladder:

– The NRL realised they could put a Thursday night game on during an Origin week, and somehow Wests Tigers get to feature against Cronulla, although rather than go to Campbelltown or Leichhardt, both teams decided to meet halfway and play the game at Commbank Stadium, and the Tigers basic goal this week would simply be to get a try on the board, that way they could only lose by no worse than 70 points instead of 74.

– The Dragons host the Raiders down in The Gong, and despite having a Points Differential so bad that it’s pretty much a 1-win handicap, the Raiders are in 5th and a very real chance at a Top 4 finish in this wildly even season, while the Dragons managed to jump from 17th to 16th despite losing by 36 points (True story), and if there’s a bit of a breeze on Friday night, then we could see a repeat of this:

And I haven’t even mentioned what happened last year, as the Dragons snuck out with a 12-10 victory as the siren sounded with the Raiders deep in attack, as Ben Hunt exploited a loophole in the 6 Again rule by deliberately flopping all over Joey Tapine on the final tackle, giving away a set restart instead of a Penalty + Sin Bin, denying the Raiders a penalty shot in front of goal, and they would’ve had the player advantage for Golden Point – Alas, all they could do was call themselves moral winners when the NRL stated it was the wrong decision.

– The Eels copped the brunt of Brad Fittler’s changes to the New South Wales team, with Clint Gutherson drafted in to the Blues squad, joined by Reagan Campbell-Gillard (going straight in for teammate Junior Paulo) and Mitch Moses, Dylan Brown got an extra 4 games thanks to a breach notice due to his Double Bay misdemeanor, and now they have to tackle the Warriors, who were once again laid low at home in a monsoon.

– The historical rivals South Sydney and Canterbury face off on Saturday night, and good lord this game is going to be played at approximately 60% of its potential, with Souths having so many outs thanks to injury and Origin selection, and the Bulldogs being plain old shit, and it won’t get much better from a 66-0 defeat, given Josh Addo-Carr is also out thanks to Origin.

Fun fact – This weekend will mark Souths’ last game in Sydney until ROUND 27, as they have 2 byes, then play home games at the Sunshine Coast, Optus Stadium in Perth, and Barlow Park in Cairns to match their away games, meaning they’ll be doing more touring than Russell Crowe does for most of his films.

– And the lucky last game of the Round is the rematch between the Gold Coast Titans and Redcliffe on the Gold Coast, and cast your mind back to Round 6 at Suncorp, the Titans led 26-0 after 28 minutes… only for the Dolphins to come back and win 28-26, matching North Queensland’s 1998 comeback against Penrith for the greatest comeback in First Grade history.

So anyway, here we go for Round 18 of the Succinct NRL Tips, as I prepare to spin the random tip generator, HERE WE GO…..

Round 17 score = 5/8, Progress Score = 82/136 (60.3%)

Round 18 =

Round 19 Lock of the Week

Because when you’re right 52% of the time, you’re wrong 48% of the time!

Last week I said there was going to be another Shark Attack in The Shire, and look what happened, the Sharks dropped 52 points on the Dragons, and chomped off Ben Hunt’s head in the process….

IT WAS NOT A BOATING ACCIDENT.

Now, as a rule I don’t like using the same team two weeks in a row for the Lock, just to provide a bit of variety, but somehow that doesn’t exclude me from having the same opposition team, so this week I think we’ll go with the big bad GREEN MACHINE from Canberra to venture up the highway to raid the Illawarra coast against the locals, who will most likely be wearing red in honour of the Illawarra Steelers…

As for the Raiders, well, they’ll once again remind everyone that much like Kermit the Frog, It’s Not Easy Being Green.

Incidentally, I have obtained footage of what the post-game shower might look like for the Raiders: