WE HAVE FINALLY REACHED THE END….

Of the home & away season.

So this is it, after 6 months of torture we are at the final hurdle before the Royal Rumble begins, although it appears Dylan Edwards cashed in the briefcase on Wednesday and won Money in the Bank 2023 ($3.4m over 4 years).

Yeah, Damian Priest may have won the real Money in the Bank in July, but Edwards has now chased him down with a beautiful covering tackle.

Among the many things to happen this week, the judiciary handed out their biggest combined whacking of 2023, with Kotoni Staggs suspended for a game he was probably going to rested for anyway, Corey Horsburgh got 4 matches after he failed to overturn a shoulder charge indictment (For something that was barely a penalty), and Jared Waerea-Hargraves got his right whack after several years of incidents, as his failure to downgrade a dangerous contact charge (combined with an early guilty plea for striking) left him suspended for a grand total of 7 matches.

At this current pace, assuming the Roosters miss the finals (Which is a nigh on mathematical certainty), he won’t be back until, give or take…

The first weekend of April.

No chocolate eggs at Easter… But, that’s what you get for being a naughty boy.

So looking at the games for the final weekend, which will mark the farewells of many players (Most of whom don’t know it yet), it appears half the teams destined for the finals have gone the tank and have rested players.

– The Broncos, in position to win their first J.J. Giltinan Shield as minor premiers for the first time since 2000, host their masters the Melbourne Storm at Suncorp in a game that would’ve had Channel Nine barring up, but now it has been turned into a Queensland Cup match as both teams mass-rest every player except Ryan Papenhuyzen, as the Broncos try and defeat the Storm at Lang Park for the first time since…. 2009.

Seriously, it has been so long that the Broncos coach back then was Ivan Henjak, and Israel Folau had only just signed for the Broncos – That’s the kind of torture the Storm have inflicted on Brisbane.

– The 6pm Friday game on the first day of Spring 2023 sees Manly play the impending repeat wooden spooners the Wests Tigers at Brookvale, as Tim Sheens signs off after 693 games as a First Grade coach, and the Tigers one up everyone and decide to rest their players for 6 months.

– The Friday night fight on Channel Nine features the foundation Eastern Suburbs Roosters hosting some expansion club that came into the league in 2002, as the free-falling Rabbitohs cling on to a finals spot with their backsides as they lose Latrell Mitchell after his suspension in Round 25, while the Chooks get James Tedesco back to compensate losing JWH and Joey Manu, although let’s be honest JWH would’ve been suspended for belting some poor bastard with how much these teams hate each other.

– The Dolphins’ inaugural season ends where it began, a home game at Suncorp Stadium, this time against the Warriors, who have jumped on board the resting bandwagon with a Top 4 spot assured, although they still don’t know if they’ll play in Penrith or Brisbane, but the only guarantee is that all of New Zealand will be behind them given the Kiwi populace have jumped off the All Blacks after they got their arses handed to them by the Springboks.

– The Panthers still have a crack at the minor premiership and have decided against resting players against the North Queensland Cowboys, the only major change being the injury to Jarome Luai which has left them with a huge hole in the halves, and the Cowboys can still pull off a miracle jump into the finals with a victory + a Souths defeat, but the more unlikely part of that combination is them winning in Penrith.

– Another shithouse St George-Illawarra season comes to an end at Kogarah, in what will be the last game with St George Bank sponsorship after 40+ years, and they host a Newcastle Knights team resting several key players thanks to being assured of a home final, by virtue having a 1-point advantage over the Sharks (6th) and Raiders (7th) before they play each other next weekend as simple maths says one of the teams will take points from the other in the event of a win, and in the event of a draw the For/Against of both teams is inferior to Newcastle’s.

– The Titans host the Bulldogs on the Gold Coast in what is the last game before Des Hasler clears the decks at the Titans, and it seems the Dogs are having a few internal disciplinary issues to end the year, this one involving one player having to wrestle 12 players as part of a training punishment, which is much milder than past Bulldogs disciplinary issues, which involved hanging out with schoolgirls and being naked in a pub on Mad Monday.

Hmmm, having to wrestle 12 oiled up, muscly men…

– And the last game of the season features Cronulla hosting Canberra at Shark Park, with the winner guaranteed a home knockout Elimination Final in either 5th or 6th (Depending on the Knights result), and the added facet is that the Sharks haven’t defeated the Raiders for 5 years, and the Green Machine is now without their two main forwards in Josh Papali’i and Corey Horsburgh, so deadset, if the Sharks cannot defeat them now, they won’t defeat anything wearing green until humankind settles on Mars.

On another note, I do feel sorry for current Eel and former Raiders captain Josh Hodgson, who was forced to retire yesterday after neck surgery in June, because he won’t even get a proper on-field farewell (until Grand Final Day) after a career that was highlighted by captaining Canberra to their only Grand Final appearance of the 21st Century…

Not because he wouldn’t have been able to play, but for the simple fact that the Eels’ final bye is this weekend.

Now, it’s time for the random tip generator to do its thing, as the ripsnorting run continued, as I scored another 7 to extend the run in August to 7, 8, 7 and 7… it took a great upset by the Eels to stop another perfect round!

Round 26 score = 7/8, Progress Score = 131/196 (66.8%)

Round 27 =

It is a funny scenario this week, because with the resting of key players, the Warriors are $2.40 against the Dolphins, and the Knights are only a borderline favourite against Saints…

Yet on FootyTips they’re both tipped by at least 80% of users.

Round 27 Lock of the Week

Because when you’re right 52% of the time, you’re wrong 48% of the time!

I can only surmise that the Parramatta Eels are not fans of Cat Stevens.

Anyway, better end the home & away season on a good note for the Lock, which has been both poor and extremely good at times this season.

So, the Round 27 Lock…

Manly to start Mad Monday on Friday night after they perform a rendition of the Eagle Rock in the Brookvale changerooms after defeating Wests!

Fun fact – The Eagle Rock was the inspiration for Elton John to write Crocodile Rock, after he heard the song during his 1972 tour of Australia.