The AFL have got KISS, but I’ve got something better…. EUROPE.

Well friends, while Kalyn Ponga celebrates his blindside victory by 1 vote over Shaun Johnson in the Dally M Medal, producing a run not too dissimilar to Jarryd Hayne when he won in 2009, we are now set for an an epic match-up to decide the Provan-Summons trophy for this year, as the Top 2 teams of 2023 face off in the Tina Turner Memorial Grand Final, not that Peter Sterling cares, because he’ll be off playing golf instead of giving out the Clive Churchill Medal.

Instead, the honour will go to Cliffy Lyons, who will get to present it to a player from one of two worthy teams:

The mountain men from Penrith, attempting the first threepeat since the almighty Parramatta team of 1981 to 1983, and you’d have to have fewer than 2 brain cells to say they didn’t earn it.

And the Brisbane Broncos, a mere 3 years after winning the wooden spoon, are into their 8th Grand Final, and their first without Wayne Bennett in the club’s history, such is the power of the KEVOLUTION.

Of course, the Brisbane Broncos and Lions are in the AFL and NRL Grand Finals in the same year for the first time in recorded history, making this the biggest weekend in the history of Brisvegas since Sir Joh resigned…

At least until 2032.

Another random fact that I’d like to bring up – This is the first time Brisbane have played a Sydney team in the Grand Final since 2000, when they defeated the Sydney Roosters, and their record against Sydney teams in Grand Finals, if you include the Super League, is a perfect 5 wins from 5 (1992-93 against St George, 1997 against Cronulla, 1998 against Canterbury, 2000 against Easts.)

The Broncos have only appeared in 2 Grand Finals since then, the win against the Storm in 2006, and the epic defeat to the North Queensland Cowboys in 2015, a game so good it came from heaven…. or Queensland, one of the two.

Of course, there are other events from this week, and first and foremost there’s only one event I need to discuss today…

Brad Fittler has resigned as coach of New South Wales, something that should’ve occurred no sooner than 2 months ago.

In the same week Brandy Alexander got the arse as a selector, apparently Fittler and the NSWRL couldn’t come to a consensus about the direction of the Blues… It seems it’s too hard for both sides to agree on the common goal of ‘Don’t lose to ****in’ Queensland.’

On another note, condolences to all Queenslanders, because the Blues will probably sign some players coach like Geoff Toovey and really leave you quaking in your boots.

Hahahahahahaha.

Another story this week is that Rooster Angus Crichton was offered a seven-figure contract by Rugby Australia, because that’s what you need when you can’t defeat Fiji or score more than 6 points against Wales at the World Cup…

An out of form, concussion prone back rower from the Eastern Suburbs.

Here’s a better idea, just send Hamish McLennan to the fourth layer of Hell, because that’s where he’s taken rugby in this country.

Now, looking at the game itself, and of course the teams played twice this year with the away team winning both games as the Broncos sprung the upset by 1 point (13-12) at Panthers Stadium in Round 1, their first win at Penrith since 2009, and the Panthers won the rematch 15-4 at Suncorp in Round 12, a game that Adam Reynolds missed due to being rested following a head knock in Melbourne the week prior.

Of course, Reynolds was the difference in Round 1 as he kicked the sealing field goal 9 minutes from full time, so as for what difference he can make in defeating the best team in the game will be revealed on Sunday.

Now, time for the lucky last Random Tip of the NRL season, and I would note that while the Panthers are going for the first Threepeat in 40 years, I am also going for a shot at history on Sunday, for one simple fact…

I HAVE NEVER GONE A PERFECT 9 OUT OF 9 IN THE FINALS.

We are currently 8 out of 8 going into the Grand Final.

This could be it.

Preliminary Final Tips = 2/2, Progress Score = 144/212 (67.9%)

Grand Final Pick:

In all honesty, I only picked Penrith just for the sake of tipping, I just want to enjoy the game because it’ll be a great one.

Grand Final Lock of the Week

Because when you’re right 52% of the time, you’re wrong 48% of the time!

One last lock to throw away the key for in 2023, and much to the chagrin of the state of Queensland…

THE PENRITH PANTHERS ARE BRINGING UP THE THREEPEAT, JUST LIKE LIONEL RICHIE AND THE COMMODORES…

YOU’RE ONCE.

TWICE.

THREE TIMES A LADY PREMIER!

Although, I think the Panthers are more likely to be dancing on the ceiling on Sunday evening if they end up winning…

Dancing on the ceiling, ALL NIGHT LONG.