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After the Melbourne Cup bye, or the Rottnest bye if you ask Pricey, we were back for Week 2 of Manning Jack Attack, the Greatest Social Bowls Tournament between Manning Road and the Canning River, and the biggest bowls tournament in Australia this month, not like that little event up in Brisbane that they’re putting on Fox Sports.

Now, there have been a few team updates since Week One, when we did have a couple of teams withdraw late:

The Jack Hunters were one of those late withdrawals, and they have since formally withdrawn after Helen’s teammates were abducted by a UFO and can’t be located, which would’ve left us with an uneven 25 teams…

But, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade, and newcomers the Bowl Movements (Friends of Loose Bruce from the Bowled Guys) were able to go straight into the draw in place of the Jack Hunters, and for the purposes of fairness, they will start off with a fresh record on the ladder.

Other than that, on the weather front the only challenge for the teams was one of the most consistent Easterly winds I can ever remember on a Wednesday night, with the gusts always hanging around the 30km/h mark, which threw off more than a few social bowlers so used to the sea breeze.

Some bowls started narrow, went wide, and finished on the next rink.

Actually, that wasn’t the wind, that was just people bowling on the wrong bias.

The Corner to Corner Challenge

After a couple of months in hibernation, an even-numbered week meant the return of the Corner to Corner Challenge, and we’ve retained the same format from the last couple of seasons, with one edition for the teams playing on the Grass, and another for the teams playing on the Synthetic.

After 10 bowls were chucked down, the first winner for the Grass was Brendan from Norfolk Enchants, and the runner-up was Mark from Manning Up, who I kept mistaking for Simon:

And the first Synthetic winner was Scotty from Buffed Helmets 2, which makes it at least 2 wins for Scotty in a Synthetic Corner to Corner after his win last Spring, and the runner-up was Duncan from Macatac 1:

Well done to all involved.

The Overall Night

We would note that the draw for Week 2 was pre-done before the opening Wednesday, based on exposed form from the last couple of seasons, and for the most part it was a win for the handicapper, because we finished up with 7 tiebreaks out of 13 games, including 1 tiebreak which was decided by a coin toss when both teams forgot you actually have to play a tiebreak when you win a set apiece.

Unsurprisingly, one of the teams involved in the 7 tiebreaks was dear old Ten Pin, who already had the record for the most tiebreaks in Manning Jack Attack history (Now numbering at least 30 one-end shootouts), and they were suckered into another tiebreak against the Salty Bowls 2, which they ultimately lost, which had Coral lamenting the fact that they’d had to feature in yet another tiebreak, but at the end of the day, all I can say is…

Try and win both sets, Coral.

Moving on to the Top 4 for the night, and 1st overall had to be decided on a countback as both 1st and 2nd finished with +15 shots, won in straight sets, and both won 8 ends, meaning we had to go all the way down to the fourth tiebreaker that is Shots Held….

And that meant 1st Overall went to the Unbelievabowls, who held 20 shots against Verse 1 on Synthetic Rink 3, capped off by an 11-0 win in the 2nd Set, and it was a good moment for the Unbelievabowls after they’d been caught in one of the forfeited games in Week One and didn’t get the chance to show off their new team uniforms:

That’s Unbelieva-bowl.

The team that had to settle for 2nd place was Ebowla Bad, Ibowla Good, who racked up 18 shots in their victory against the Top Shots next door on Synthetic Rink 2 (The 1st Set being a 12-0 shutout), and I would note that Lee is the team manager for EBIG, while his wife Amanda plays for the Unbelievabowls, so I don’t think either of their teammates saw a cent of the winnings.

Funnily enough, both teams are also the only two teams to claim all 8 points available from 2 games, by virtue of the Unbelievabowls getting the walkover win in Week 1.

3rd Overall for Week 2 went to the Great Bowls of Fire, who bounced back from losing in Week 1 to devour the packet of Shapes by 13 shots on Synthetic Rink 4, capped off by holding a 5 on the final end of the night to catapault into the money positions, and it was noted by Kochie (Todd) that the strong Easterly must’ve been strong enough that it blew all the flavour off the shapes that Craig and his team were eating pre-game.

4th Overall on the night was originally called as Manning Up, who did have a good win against the CD’s, but it wasn’t quite as good as Norfolk Enchants, who went on to win by 11 shots against Stop Drop & Bowl on Grass Rink 1, a game that seemed to feature plenty of driving from Stop Drop & Bowl, who could’ve been considered the world’s worst cyclone with the amount of force they carried and the subsequent lack of contact, until the final end, when they hurled down another drive and splattered the jack onto Rink 3 to force a respot.

Stop Drop & Bowl held 1.

They were very loud.

Which then gets me to Manning Up, who were originally written on the envelope as having finished 4th thanks to their +10 shot win against the CD’s, but we later realised that not only is 10 smaller than 11, Manning Up also drew their 2nd Set 4-4, whereas the Norfolkers won in straight sets – Luckily though, Manning Up went home before we gave them their winnings, so a major crisis was averted in regards to prize money, although they’ve got Norfolk Enchants of getting their name in the West Australian on Friday.

Another note from the CD’s is that Helen has officially retired from Jack Attack due to being a bit too good for Wednesday nights, but has decided to keep turning up to support the CDs in the classic bowls role of the runner (Drinks B***h as they call it) – The post-game from Nat, Marg and Emma is that Helen was going to get the sack after a poor 1st Set performance, but the 2nd Set draw means she’ll last slightly longer than Mal Meninga’s political career.

As for the other results, I did mention earlier that there was one tiebreak decided by a coin toss rather than actual lawn bowls, and that was the game between Crawshaw Crisis Committee and Fawesome on Grass Rink 3, and Crawshaw were already reduced to a party of two when Malcolm and Peter were left hanging by Disorderly Decca, forcing them both to play with 3 bowls apiece, which helped them come back and win the 2nd Set 10-3 after dropping the 1st 2-6, after which Stewie and Malcolm decided to go inside for a feed and a beer…

Only for Pricey to tell them that they still had to play a tiebreak, but both gentlemen decided ‘Bugger that’ and instead called for a tiebreak coin toss, Stewie called heads, and they originally thought it was a head upon landing, but the tails side of the 20-cent piece was a headshot of William and Kate, so for not calling two heads, Crawshaw got the point.

I would also note that isn’t the first time Stewie hasn’t played a tiebreak when he’s split the sets, so if he had a dollar for every time he’s forgotten to play a tiebreak, he’d have two dollars.

Moving on, the Synthetic Rinks featured two Derbies, the first of which saw Macatac 1 and Macatac 2 at each other’s throats, and pride was so great between the teams that the game would feature some of the most extensive use of tactics ever seen on a Wednesday night:

The game surpassed our low expectations, as the 1s got the first set thanks to holding 2 on the final end, overcoming the 2s holding 3 on their powerplay, but from there the 2s would never drop another shot for the night, winning the 2nd Set 7-0, then going on to win the tiebreak thanks to Ellen Mac.

The other Derby was a time-honoured edition of the Buffed Helmets Derby between Buffs 1 and 2, featuring reigning Mitchell Trophy winner Scotty with his dirty caterpillar moustache, although he would admit he didn’t live it up to the honour of sporting a mo, and it was the performances of Kip and Carry that won the game against Hully, Scratch and Carmo, and in true Buffs competitive spirit, both teams cared more about beating the other than working together to get in the prize money, and ultimately they split the sets and went to a tiebreak, which was one-sided as Kip and Carry did the damage for the winning team and held 4.

That was a theme for the Derbies of the night… the 2s took a number two on the 1s.

Moving on, the Steam Rollers were the only team to claim 4 points and not get in the money this week, as they knocked off This Is How We Roll by ‘only’ 6 shots on Synthetic Rink 1, and this reaction from Dave should sum up the game:

Thank you, Dave.

Next up, the Bowling Stones got their first win in a tiebreak against Rock N Bowl (Featuring Di Mac not playing in the Macatac Derby) out on Grass Rink 5, and that game was the worst-hit by the Easterly wind due to location, so any time a bowl didn’t stray out on to Rink 4 was probably a good result, no matter how short it was…

Evidently, the Stones got a couple more close, and would go on to hold 2 in the tiebreak.

Going from the Eastern-most game to the Western-most game, the Bowled Guys took on the Jackson 3 in the Challenger Avenue parking lot that is Synthetic Rink 8, and it was a low-scoring scrap, with a grand total of 13 shots across 10 ends (The Jacksons were ahead 7-6) thanks to only one powerplay conversion, and it went to a tiebreak after the teams split the sets, and from there it was all one-way traffic as the Bowled Guys held 4, when 1 would’ve been enough.

And the last game to finish on the night, at somewhere close to 8:20, some 20 minutes after everyone else was done, was the game between the Bowl Movements and Salty Bowls 1, and the problem was they were taking social bowls a bit too literally and having a 5-minute chat between deliveries, which is similar to the average time Rafael Nadal used to take between serves.

Eventually though, the Bowl Movements got the shot in the tiebreak and recorded a debut win.

Results

Grass 1: Norfolk Enchants (4pts +11) defeated Stop Drop & Bowl, 6-3 11-3

Grass 2: Bowl Movements (3pts +4) defeated Salty Bowls 1 (2pts -4), 8-11, 9-2 1-0 in the tiebreak

Grass 3: Crawshaw CC (3pts +3) defeated Fawesome (2pts -3), 2-6 10-3 and won the tiebreak coin toss

Grass 4: Manning Up (3pts +10) defeated CD’s (1pt -10), 12-2 4-4

Grass 5: Bowling Stones (3pts +3) defeated Rock N Bowl (2pts -3), 7-1 2-5 2-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 1: Steam Rollers (4pts +6) defeated This Is How We Roll, 4-3 7-2

Synthetic 2: Ebowla Bad, Ibowla Good (4pts +15) defeated Top Shots, 12-0 6-3

Synthetic 3: Unbelievabowls (4pts +15) defeated Verse 1, 9-5 11-0

Synthetic 4: Great Bowls of Fire (4pts +13) defeated Shapes, 7-3 12-3

Synthetic 5: Buffed Helmets 2 (3pts +2) defeated Buffed Helmets 1 (2pts -2), 8-4 2-4 4-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 6: Salty Bowls 2 (3pts +3) defeated Ten Pin (2pts -3), 3-7 9-2 1-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 7: Macatac 2 (3pts +6) defeated Macatac 1 (2pts -6), 6-7 7-0 3-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 8: Bowled Guys (3pts -1) defeated Jackson 3 (2pts +1), 1-5 5-2 4-0 in the tiebreak

Ladder

Captain’s Comments

Duncan, Macatac: “I’d like to say I was so disappointed that we were so competitive with each other, I’d liked to have seen one side annihilate the other to get the money, but both teams’ competitive nature won out and we got a fair fight.”

Todd/Kochie, Great Bowls of Fire: “Back in the money, we smelled the summer coming and felt right at home, and based on what shapes the Shapes boys were eating before the game I can only surmise that the wind blew all the flavour off the biscuits. “

Scotty, Buffed Helmets 2: “The moustache may not have been a good idea because I played like absolute rubbish, but I was held up by my 2 props, BOG Kip, 2nd Carry, and the 3rd was a bag of crap, but every best & fairest from a premiership team can have an off week.”

Carmo, Buffed Helmets 1: “Could be Kippy’s last game for the Buffs, he’s off to Bali with the missus, and he could elope, buy a villa and never come back.”

“Still, it’s better than Cheese, or as we now call him, Peter Harvey…….. Canberra.”