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As we approached the Leap Day 2024, it was on to Week 4 of Manning Jack Attack, the Greatest Social Bowls Tournament between Manning Road and the Canning River, and it was a big one this week at Manning Memorial with the club in full preparations for the Welcome Fours to kick off Country Week, the biggest annual event at the club in what is a spectacular showcase of country bowlers from all 3 corners of WA, featuring 190+ bowlers using all 4 greens of the club (A grand total of 26 rinks), giving the club an excuse to subject people to the torture of playing on the craters on B Green.

The running joke down at Manning is that if you pull up at the club with WA country license plates, you’ll walk straight into our top Thursday Premier League team…

Although, they are now 9th and below the Manning second team at the moment, so the experience will feel more like something from the Bates Motel.

On another note, this was the first night that we were given the chance to use the club’s new white heavyweight jacks on the Synthetic green, a novel idea taken from One Day Cricket, where they’ve played with white balls under lights for 45+ years and don’t seem to be struggling as much as we were trying to look at the dirty yellow jacks from afar.

As you’ll note they are Drakes Pride jacks, and as we all know from Crackerjack, the most memorable game of bowls was played by Sir Francis Drake against Lord Howard at Plymouth Hoe in 1588, right before Sir Francis thrashed the Spanish Armada.

The Spider Challenge

With the Corner to Corner Challenge seeming monotonous, we decided to change things up, so for the first time since December of 2019, we decided to bring back…

THE SPIDER CHALLENGE.

The concept is still the same – Every bowler on the night lines up around the green, the jack goes in the centre of the green, everyone bowls on the whistle, and the closest 3 bowls get the prizes.

So after Half Prize blew his whistle and everyone fired away, we sifted through a sea of 70+ bowls, of which only 3 were mistakenly taken by other people, we worked out the Top 3, which were Trav from Manning Up in for third shot, Justin from Norfolk Enchants was second shot, and the winner was Rennae from the Unbelievabowls!

Well done to all, and judging by the reaction, we might just bring it back in Week 6 to end the season – Of course, here’s the full video of how it went.

The Overall Night

On another superb night at Manning Memorial, a mere 2 teams would win with double figure margins, which would suggest the handicapper is still earning his lack of a paycheck….

Off the top, 1st Overall went to The Jackobites, who continue to go from strength to strength in the Champions League (They currently sit in 4th) as they defeated Hosky’s Hopefuls by 14 shots on Grass Rink 4, and it was our resident Scotsmen’s first visit out onto the slower Grass at Manning, which would’ve been right up their alley considering Scottish greens are famously slow, and as the night wore on and the dew kicked up, Chris and the team got even better as they won the 2nd Set 13-0, giving their coach Mark Matthews the bragging rights against coach Mat Hoskin.

Although, Chris did have to be reminded (After the night) that he can rotate his team of 4 so that he doesn’t have to sit out most of the night… the team has to bowl a total of 6 bowls per end, not necessarily 2 bowls per player.

Ye Jackobites by name, lend an ear, lend an ear.

Finishing 2nd on the night as the only other double-figure winner was Shapes, who knocked off Crawshaw CC in straight sets by 12 shots on Synthetic Rink 6, and it was a straight sets win that very nearly didn’t happen, as the last end of the 1st Set featured one of the more violent momentum swings you’ll see in a game of bowls, beginning with Shapes leading 6-0 after 4 ends, only for Crawshaw to deploy the powerplay and have Wilko drive the jack straight to Rink 8 and onto the T to put Crawshaw 8 up and holding the set…

But Pistol Peter of the Shapes still had 1 bullet to fire, and even though he had an acre to draw 2nd Shot, he went one better and decided to draw shot, which Wilko couldn’t better, so in the space of 3 bowls, Crawshaw went from being shut out of the set, to holding the set, to being shut out.

Completing the Top 4 on the night, we had a 7-way countback for 3rd and 4th places, with a gaggle of teams finishing with victories by 8 shots, so we did what we usually do and whipped out the countback sheet, which made life slightly easier.

The CDs and Steam Rollers were out as they only recorded 3-point victories, Salty Bowls only won 5 ends, Macatac 1 and Rock N Bowl were both tied on 6 ends apiece…

However, 3rd place would go to the Bowled Guys, who led the train of seven by winning 8 ends in their straight sets 8-shot victory against Macatac 1 on Grass Rink 1, a truly superb performance from Loose Bruce, Jamie and Jason, as they came from 1-6 down after 3 ends to pick up a 3 and a 4 (On their last end powerplay) to win the 1st Set 8-6, then ended the night by shutting out the Maccers 6-0 in the 2nd Set, the bare minimum scoreline for a shutout (4 ends of 1 and 1 + 1 on the powerplay), such was the hard-fought nature of the game.

I would note that Bruce was the only chrome dome in the Bowled Guys on Wednesday night, so their name should’ve just been Bowled Guy.

4th place on the night went to Norfolk Enchants, who got the last money countback with 7 ends won in their 8-shot victory against Manning Up on Synthetic Rink 1, which was a fair performance considering Quinny and Justin were originally going to bowl 3 bowls apiece against John and his micromanagers, but their good mate Glen O’Brien stepped in and loaned them ‘Hully’ from the Buffed Helmets, and the three of them went on to claim all 4 points plus the cash, which leaves Manning Up anchored to last place in the Manning Premier League, facing real danger of relegation to the Champions League next season.

Finishing off the results for Week 4, Macatac 2 are now the clear leaders on the MPL ladder thanks to their straight sets 8-shot victory against Bowljack Horseman on Synthetic Rink 7, and it was a fairly clinical display from the Macatac ladies, who won the 1st Set 5-4 thanks to stifling Bowljack’s powerplay, then holding 2 (4) on their own powerplay, and an early powerplay in the 2nd Set from Bowljack did work in the sense that they held 2 shots….

However, it would be the last shots they held for the night, as the Maccers proceeded to win the 2nd Set 9-2, and it’ll take a collapse bigger than Ansett to keep them out of this season’s Grand Final.

Rock N Bowl now lead the Manning Champions League thanks their straight sets 8-shot victory against Ebowla Bad, Ibowla Good on Grass Rink 3, in what was a top of the table clash in the MCL, but was turned into a one-person cameo from Belinda Mac’s father-in-law Duncan, who could easily have picked up all 3 drinks vouchers with the amount of times he was making contact with the jack…. he had to settle for 1.

Verse 1 (With a winged Sally Holle joining Mick and Ronni) are into 2nd spot on the Champions League table after making it a hat-trick of winning tiebreaks, this time defeating the Unbelievabowls in a game played in good spirits on Synthetic Rink 5, and usually when you mention Verse 1 and spirits in the same sentence, it’s either vodka or gin for Peg and Ronni….

Verse 1 also managed to win the variance for the first time all season (+3), and it was at this moment that I realised I never took a photo of the game on Rink 5, although you can see Sally on the mat with a broken arm in this photo of Alex:

The CDs and Bowling Stones went head-to-head in a game between the old Manning Primary mums and the new Manning Primary mums on Synthetic Rink 4, and the other element to the game was that Kelly from the CDs and Tiff from the Bowling Stones both had their birthday on Wednesday night…

Could be worse, they could’ve been born on the 29th.

As for the game, the CDs came back to draw the 1st Set at 4-4, sending the game into a 1 Set shootout, and the Stones looked home for all money after leading 6-1 with 2 ends to play, but the CDs would pick up a cheap 3, then had the final end powerplay leaving them needing 1 for a tiebreak and 2 to win the game…

They went on to hold 5, giving them 10 shots and a 14-6 win in the 2nd Set, only just missing out on the Top 4 on the aforementioned countback.

Happy birthday, Tiff.

The Steam Rollers were another unlucky team in the 8-shot countback, and they did well to get themselves into that countback after dropping the 1st Set 7-3 to formerly bottom-placed This Is How We Roll, but they would respond with a massive 15-3 win in the 2nd Set to force the tiebreak, and carried that momentum to win the last end, although thanks to those 2 points and Hosky’s Hopefuls losing by more shots, This Is How We Roll are now merely second-last and Close To Crap, instead of just being complete crap.

The Buffed Helmets are into the Top 6 of the Premier League thanks to their straight sets win against the Great Bowls of Fire on Synthetic Rink 2, and there was some confusion about the scorecards, as the Buffs had given 1 to the Great Bowls on the last end of the night, which would’ve made the final set a 5-5 draw, but the Great Bowls had given 1 to the Helmets to give them the set (Plus all 4 points) 6-4, so the final set was marked as a 6-4 win to the Buffed Helmets, as the Great Bowls find themselves second last in the Premier League, and looking half a chance of getting dropped down to the second tier.

The penultimate result of the night was Ten Pin producing a trademark tiebreak win, this time knocking off Bowl Movements on Synthetic Rink 3, with Coral and Jack having to bowl with 3 bowls each due to Deb being unavailable, and even after all these years you’d be brave to give Coral 1 look at getting shot, let alone 3, and that’s what happened in the tiebreak as Coral had the shot on the crossover, and Jack did the rest as he dragged his namesake to Coral to give them an easy 2 to win the tiebreak, although the teams splitting the sets has allowed both teams to remain in the Top 6 of the Premier League, with Bowl Movements still 2nd and Ten Pin remaining in 6th.

And the last result of the night was Salty Bowls disposing of Stop Drop & Bowl in straight sets by 8 shots on Synthetic Rink 8, and to be honest both teams copped the crap end of the stick in terms of rink allocation on Wednesday night, because the club had shifted all the rinks on the Synthetic Green (Our C Green) one line across for the Welcome Fours, leaving the right-handed bowlers on Rink 8 with next to no room on their favoured hand bowling North-South, because the ditch side of Rink 8 wasn’t hard enough to bowl on.

And finally for Week 4, the scene at Manning at 9:10pm, on Country Week eve, as everyone else had gone home….

Except for the combined efforts of the Buffed Helmets and Steam Rollers, carrying on the conversation at the exact same damn table.

Results

Grass 1: Bowled Guys (4pts +8) defeated Macatac 1, 8-6 6-0

Grass 2: Rock N Bowl (4pts +8) defeated Ebowla Bad, Ibowla Good, 4-3 10-3

Grass 3: Steam Rollers (3pts +8) defeated This Is How We Roll (2pts -8), 3-7 15-3 1-0 in the tiebreak

Grass 4: The Jackobites (4pts +14) defeated Hosky’s Hopefuls, 6-5 13-0

Synthetic 1: Norfolk Enchants (4pts +8) defeated Manning Up, 7-3 5-1

Synthetic 2: Buffed Helmets (4pts +6) defeated Great Bowls of Fire (1pt -4), 6-2 6-4

Synthetic 3: Ten Pin (3pts -3) defeated Bowl Movements (2pts +3), 4-8 5-4 2-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 4: CD’s (3pts +8) defeated Bowling Stones (1pt -8), 4-4 14-6

Synthetic 5: Verse 1 (3pts +3) defeated Unbelievabowls (2pts -3), 9-3 3-6 2-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 6: Shapes (4pts +12) defeated Crawshaw CC, 7-0 8-3

Synthetic 7: Macatac 2 (4pts +8) defeated Bowljack Horseman, 5-4 9-2

Synthetic 8: Salty Bowls (4pts +8) defeated Stop Drop & Bowl, 9-3 4-2

Ladder

Captain’s Comments

Kip, Buffed Helmets: “Carmo’s first 4 bowls – 3 in the ditch, 1 out of bounds.”

Peter, Shapes: “Dom Sheed could take a lesson from me about clutch.”

Nat, CD’s: “The old Manning mums stood up and taught them a thing or two about bowls, and fate would have it there were two birthdays on the same rink (Tiff and Kelly), but Kelly got to eat the cake!”