It’s official that it’s officially official that the 18th NRL club will be… THE PERTH BEARS.

Imagine the chaos in The West Australian offices… having to choose between Harley Reid’s favourite pants, Fremantle being crap, or sack Brad Arthur articles.

That, or they just consistently bag the Bears for playing rugby league, considering it’s SevenWest Media versus Channel Nine.

It’s also appropriate that Perth are the 18th team in the NRL, because that’s where the West Coast Eagles are welded to on the AFL ladder.

But at the end of the day, that’s another club claiming to be foundation club returning to the game, joining that team that joined the league in 2002 that Russell Crowe supports, alongside the Sydney Roosters.

So while the Bears are coming in, Brandon Smith and Dominic Young are out at the Sydney Roosters, although there won’t be any Easts players getting a game this week given they’ve got the bye, and we’ve got to celebrate WOMEN IN LEAGUE ROUND, rather deliberately timed with it being Mother’s Day on Sunday:

– The Eels and the Dolphins start off on Thursday night, although it may as well be a clash of the barnacles and the clams with the two teams stuck to the bottom of the ladder

– The Knights host the Titans in the Hunter, another game with a very appropriate time slot… 6pm on a Friday

– Souths get the Broncos at the Olympic Stadium with a national tv audience, as the only living South Sydney premiership coach gets a shot at Wayne Bennett, who will be coaching with assorted random Souths fans due to their injuries, one of them being Andrew Denton

– A sold out crowd in Canberra on Saturday afternoon as the Raiders host the Bulldogs in an epic 1st vs 2nd showdown, which could be the first time anyone’s used those words to describe a Raiders Dogs game since the 1994 Grand Final, when Kenny Nagas ripped through the Berries:

If the maths are right, Canberra would need to win by 18 points to jump Canterbury (Who have a game in hand) into top spot.

– St George-Illawarra host the New Zealand Warriors in Woolongong, and if my maths are correct the Warriors have only beaten the Dragons twice in The Gong in the 21st Century (2018 and 2023), with a grand record of 3 wins from 15 visits since 1999.

– The North Queensland Cowboys host Penrith in Townsville, as the Cowboys fell painstakingly short of an all-time great comeback against the Warriors (12-30 down to lose 26-30), while the Panthers got a much-needed win to climb off the bottom of the ladder as the long march back to the Fivepeat begins, and now Brian To’o is back in business, alongside Mitch Kenny.

– The Melbourne Storm host the Wests Tigers at AAMI Park, and while Benji’s boys will be shitting themselves about having to travel to Melbourne given their record against the Storm, this game just screams out that Craig Bellamy will be sacrificing a goat pre-game after the Storm cost themselves the game to the Raiders last Sunday night, conceding that late try then the penalty in Golden Point.

– And the last game of the round has the Battle of the Beaches between Manly and Cronulla at Brookvale Oval, and historically Cronulla’s record at Brookvale was abhorrent, but now they haven’t lost to Manly at Brooky since the 2019 Elimination Final, and their last 3 visits have all resulted in wins, which is the first time in recorded history that Cronulla have won consecutive games at Brookvale, let alone 3 consecutive wins.

In fact, the Sharks have won 5 out of their last 6 against the Silvertails, including a few weeks ago in Perth, with that lone Manly win being a 30-26 win in Round 21 of 2023, when the Sharks came from 14-30 down with 10 minutes remaining and had chances to tie the game in the last minutes, but Anthony Seibold’s team held tough.

Round 9 score = 4/8

Progressive Score = 40/72 (55.55%)

And because I can’t be bothered with a Lock of the Week, here’s Monty Python: