Alright, as the referees whistles run hot and Kalyn Ponga decides he prefers Split Enz to Crowded House and declares for New Zealand, it’s time for Round 2:

The Broncos get another chance to finally score a point in season 2026 as they host the Eels at Suncorp, which is somewhat a happy hunting ground for the visitors given they have won 4 out of the last 5 games against the Broncos at Suncorp, most recently the game last season in which the Eels were a wooden spoon candidate and the Broncos on the road to the hard fought premiership.

The WAHS host the Canberra Raiders at Mt Smart, as at least one of the Round 1 winners will be undefeated no longer after this weekend… unless the Warriors and Raiders have a draw, of course.

The foundation club from the Eastern Suburbs takes on the 2002 expansion club South Sydney at the SFS on Friday night, as Alex Johnston now needs 1 try to tie Ken Irvine’s record, which will have Russell Crowe and company pissing pink if it occurs against the ancient enemy, and apparently AJ would’ve got it last week were it not for Latrell Mitchell’s apparent selfishness as he had AJ free to his left hand side with no Dolphins defenders with any chance of stopping either player…

To me, that just sums up everything wrong about this pursuit of the record – Latrell had a free run to the line, the game was still in the balance (It was 34-22 at the time with 12 minutes remaining), and above all else, IT IS A BLOODY TEAM GAME.

The Wests Tigers have their season opener against the North Queensland Cowboys at Leichhardt, as the Tigers unleash the 18-year-old former rugby prodigy Heamasi Makasini in the centres after his hat-trick in a trial game, and the Cowboys are still nursing that Vegas hangover after the Knights beat them up… then again, Americans are used to seeing teams called Cowboys get beaten up in the last 30 years, given what the Dallas Cowboys have gone through.

St George-Illawarra host the Melbourne Storm in Wollongong, and this’ll be the third different venue the teams have played at in their last 3 encounters, as the Dragons won at AAMI Park in Round 22 of 2024, then won again at Kogarah in Round 4 of 2025.

The first of the regional games for 2026 has Penrith hosting Cronulla at Carrington Park in Bathurst, and the Panthers & Sharks during Penrith’s Golden Age has been the great clash of the hammer and the nail, as the Panthers have won 9 out of the last 10 games (Including the last 5 in a row), and that only Sharks win in 2021 was 2 days after an Origin game when the Panthers had half the team missing… heck, there was even that game in 2020 when Charlie Staines scored 4 tries on debut, then 2 days later got stood down for breaching COVID protocols.

The great 1990s rivalry resumes as Manly host Newcastle at Brookvale, as the Sea Eagles got denied in Golden Point by the Raiders, and the Justin Holbrook Knights have already exceeded expectations as they actually won a game this year, and now they can try and break a few other winless droughts as they haven’t won in Australia since June 21, 2025, and they haven’t won in New South Wales since June 5, 2025.

And the lucky last game of the round has a South East Queensland Derby as the Dolphins host the Titans at Suncorp, and the good news is leopards don’t change their spots when it comes to the Dolphins… they can definitely attack, but their defense is as tough as a wet paper bag, and that part about attack might be an omen because the Titans, after already conceding 50 points and cursing themselves out of premiership contention, have given up 36, 44 and 38 points in their last 3 games at Suncorp.

So in short, the Broncos, Warriors, Sea Eagles and Dolphins are all playing at home once again… smart thinking, cutting on fuel usage in this age of crisis.

Round 1 score = 4/8

Progress score = 4/8 (50%)

And the lock for the week… the Dolphins tease the Titans