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* This report is based on what I can remember

Powerplay. Definition: An end available in each set where you can double your score.

After a recommendation from one of my viewers in person last night, it’s time for a look back at last night’s highly entertaining action at the Manning Memorial Bowling Club for Wednesday night Jack Attack!

Representing the Avenue of Hope in our classic 3-person lineup was yours truly, ‘The Don’ with his mollydookers, and Richard the Gardner.

Our opponents were The Village Idiots, with special guest bowler 2006 West Coast Premiership Player Quinten Lynch!

I’ve played some teams with some deadset classic names; The Trevor Chappells, The Bay City Rollers, Four King Aussie Bowlers, The Habibs- But why the Village Idiots?

Well as I discovered, their warmup routine involved arriving 45 minutes before the 6:30 start and being so confident in themselves that they spent said 45 minutes sinking piss at the bar instead of rolling up.

When asked if they would do anything different next week, the only answer I heard after the match was that they’d arrive an hour before and start drinking.

Fair enough.

As a result, it won’t surprise you when I say that the Hopers started like a house on fire, winning the first four ends as I bowled like Rob Parella with consistent line and length.

At the last end we were 8-0 up with the Village Idiot powerplay stymied (Obviously with only 6 deliveries we had the set won), but they did get a consolation win on the last end, allowing them to start the second set.

I did find it funny that Big Q was bowling with purple bowls- Clearly judging by his bowling in the first set he still hates anything purple, which should warm the hearts of every Eagles fan.

The Hopers opened the second set by scoring two on a long end, but it was all the Village Idiots from there. I shot us in the foot by rolling a short end (Which we’d barely practiced), allowing the Idiots to respond by scoring 3 and taking the lead, leading to a SURPRISE powerplay.

Lynchy and the Village Idiots took full advantage, scoring 2 (Of course doubled to 4) to race out to a 7-2 lead, which we never recovered from.

The team we played last week (The T Birds) on the natural grass did something similar- After losing the first set, they took the lead in the second set, used the powerplay and eventually won in a tiebreak.

Going into the last end the Idiots led 8-2, and we needed to hold three to draw the set and end the match (Since tiebreaks are only used to decide matches, not sets), but of course with my bowling going down shit creek, we did four-eighteenths of stuff all and ended up losing the final end, setting up a TIEBREAK.

One end, two bowls each, and whoever’s holding wins.

After the second set I gave Don an earful for his shithouse length (Of course I was one to talk), with most of his deliveries either being shallow or flying through to the gutter.

But with his last shot in the tiebreak, he pulled out his best delivery of the night to give us the holder by a bloody small margin.

I haven’t seen someone pull their finger out like that since John Hopoate.

What you can’t see behind that shot (My fault) is that not even two inches behind the winner is a Village Idiot bowl that nearly got knocked beyond the winner by Richard. Two more rolls would’ve seen it go past.

We had a heartbreaking tiebreak loss last week, but The Don gave us his blessing and eliminated our enemies.

All in all, a great night of bowls played in the right spirit, with a thrilling ending.

Final scores: Team Hope defeat The Village Idiots 8-1, 2-9, 1-0 in a tiebreak 

(At least that’s how I remember it)