American Football

Tuesday Tithbits: 29th October

An iconic set of colours we’ll be seeing again at the Sandown 500 in a fortnight

The NRL Fixture Release

Now one thing has caught my eyes, and it’s the first of the Grand Final rematches between the Chooks and Raiders on the 23rd of May…. in Perth!

I’m pretty sure there was another Grand Final rematch in Perth in prior years- 2012, when Manly played the Warriors at Subaico Oval, and scored 3 tries in the last 15 minutes and won.

Now if you ask me, it makes complete sense.

Perth is full of English people.

The Raiders are full of Englishmen.

Ergo, there should be a strong crowd and it’ll look better on TV.


Tickford Racing’s Allan Moffat livery on the Mostert/Moffat #55 Mustang for Sandown

It is quite fitting that his son James will be driving it, and it’s good to see Supercheap Auto, who kicked off this whole Retro Round at Sandown a few years ago, helped improve that hodgepodge they call a livery to something much more simple and better looking.

It’s a tribute to Moffat’s 1969 Coca Cola Trans-Am Boss 302 Mustang- One of only 7 that were produced by Ford in the US, which won a supposed 101 out of 151 races it appeared in, although Moffat somehow lost the ATCC title twice to Bob Jane.

Of course, in honour of it’s 50th birthday, Ford and Tickford also recently released a road-going limited edition Tickford Trans-Am.

An absolute pearler, and of course, it’s also 50 years since Moffat won the Sandown 500 for the first time, back when it was known as the Three Hour Datsun Trophy Race, with John French in an XW Falcon.

I imagine Tickford will be needing that XW, considering what Chaz just did on the Gold Coast.


A hilarious true story

TVNZ didn’t bother to buy the rights for the 3rd placed playoff at the Rugby World Cup.

As a result, 99% of New Zealand won’t be able to see their pride and joy complete in the glorified friendly that is the 3rd Place Playoff.

Not that any of them give a shit about the All Blacks anymore, considering they’re now clearly a bigger bunch of woeful underachievers than the Wallabies.


Neroli Meadows getting the chop from Fox Sports as a “Cost Cutting Measure

Clearly still hasn’t changed that Twitter handle

The more I analyse this staggeringly moronic decision, the more I realise it’s completely in line with News Corp’s employment guidelines.

Nez clearly had too much common sense to survive for much longer at Fox Sports, given she was consummately hosting hard-hitting and insightful shows like On The Mark, and reporting straight to the point during Fox Footy telecasts, instead of reading up AFLTables.com like David King.

I could think of about 25 dickheads they employ that should have been let go before Nez, and they’re mostly former players who couldn’t spell cat if you spotted them the C and the A.

And did I say this screamed out as a dickheaded move?

Because it screams out as a dickheaded move.


The Thought Of That rider change

So in case you don’t know or simply on’t give two shits, Linda Meech, who ridden Thought Of That in his last 2 starts for an 8 length maiden win, and a 3.75 length win the G3 Caulfield Classic, got dumped off the horse for the VRC Derby on Saturday, with Mark Zahra, well renowned for going missing in big races, stepping.

But, it wasn’t Ciaron Maher’s call, considering he and Meech have a very successful partnerhsip- It was the horse’s owner, Brae Sokolski, who recently inserted his head up his own arse in celebration after Yes Yes won The Everest, and will subsequently sniffing his own farts for the rest of his days.

Not that he appears to mind.

Having more ammo for her crusade to eliminate chauvinists in the industry, Michelle Payne called Sokolski a pig.

If you ask me, pig is too harsh a word, especially from a jockey whose 2015 Melbourne Cup win becomes more and more tainted by the day thanks to a certain Mr Weir.

Increasingly annoying tool are the first three words you think of when you see Brae.

But owners kicking off regular riders has worked out rather poorly this spring- Case in point, Dalasan’s owners removing Raquel Clark for Hugh Bowman in the Caulfield Guineas, who lifted the horse to new lows, and Brae himself getting rid of Jye McNeil for Hughie on Kings Will Dream for the Cox Plate, after Jye somehow got him to win the Turnbull.


Australians in the NFL Update: Week 8

Mitch Wishnowsky (49ers) defeated Carolina Panthers 51-13 @ Levi’s Stadium

The magical ride of the 2019 49ers carries on to a 7-0 start, making a Panthers team that had won 5 straight look like they were tanking for a Top 5 pick, in one of the more awesome demolition jobs we’ve seen in 2019, led by that vicious defense featuring Nick Bosa, who could just about the Defensive Player of the Year (As a rookie nonetheless), and probably the fastest and most explosive run game in pro football.

There was a hilarious moment in the second quarter, when Mitch backed up that mega preseason tackle he made against Denver, by laying the hit stick on Panthers returner Reggie Bonnafon, which led to him getting called for a personal foul for lowering his helmet to initiate contact, obviously a big no-no in this day and age of cracking down on concussions.

The funny part about such a hit is that the personal foul appears to be some kind of first for a punter.

In another odd fact, this was the second 49ers game this season to end in a ‘Scorigami’- A final scoreline that has never occurred before in the history of the NFL.

Michael Dickson (Seahawks) defeated the Atlanta Falcons 27-20 @ Mercedes Benz Stadium

This game has confirmed one thing to me.

The Seahawks’ defense is a pile of arse.

Case in point: Matt Schaub, who hadn’t started a game at quarterback in 4 years, started in place of Matt Ryan (Missing his first game in 10 years), and threw for 462 yards.

Still, the Falcons are the Falcons, and they’re 1-7 for a reason, they waste more chances than an addict trying to reform themselves.

During the game, Michael actually punted very well, as his 4 punts had a net average of 47.8 yards, and the Falcons started their subsequent drives on 10, 37, 14 and 14-yard lines.

On another note, I had the Seahawks winning by at least 8 points.

They led 24-0 at the half.

They took their foot off the gas in the 2nd Half, and the Falcons scored 20 points in the 2nd Half.

The Seahawks thus won by only 7 points.

Go wash the dishes you arses.

Lachie Edwards (Jets) lost to the Jacksonville Jagwads 29-15 @ TIAA Bank Field

The less said about the Jets, the better.

If they were something from The Simpsons, they’d be the Springfield Tire Fire, burning forever, as their stench filled the air for miles and miles.

Edwards punted 5 times, and all 5 were returned, the longest being Dede Westbrook for 24 yards to the Jets 36 yard line… but the Jags would fumble 3 plays later, the Jets recovered, Edwards punted again, and Jags started the next drive at their own 10, on their way to a field goal.

As everyone knows, JETS stands for Just End The Season.

Cam Johnston (Eagles) defeated the Buffalo Bills 31-13 @ Ralph Wilson Stadium

This game was seemingly the exact same situation as when Philly went to Lambeau last month to play the Packers- Backs to the wall, the home team playing better, and starting a clear cut favourite.

In wild conditions, marked by a 32 km/h Westerly and persistent drizzle, the result was exactly the same- the Eagles were the better team on the day, and won the ballgame.

In those conditions, the Eagles were happy to pound the rock, and did so with a season high 218 yards, including a 65-yard touchdown to rookie Myles Sanders.

Still, Johnston punted 4 times, none of them were returned (1 went for a 60 yard touchback), and the Eagles improved to 4-4 on the year.

Jordan Berry (Steelers) defeated the Miami Dolphins 27-14 @ Heinz Field

The Dolphins scored the opening 2 touchdowns of the game in the 1st Quarter, and it looked like the worst team in football was seriously showing up to play and maybe start turning the corner, which looks about as bleak as a South Florida skyline before a Hurricane.

And it was against the Steelers, which would have made things just grand.

But eventually, the Steelers got things together at home, and forcefully unplugged the PlayStation, by scoring 27 unanswered points in the final 3 quarters, and sending he Dolphins crashing back to the stark naked reality that they really are…. shit.

Jordan had a quiet evening, punting only 3 times, but he provided a funny moment in the 2nd Quarter, managing to land a massive hip and shoulder into the back of Mark Walton, and then managed to force the return man Preston Williams to step out of bounds a few seconds later.

In Australia you’d get called for a blatant free kick, but in the Land of the Free, it’s all fair game.


Late Addition: Max Duffy doing this for the University of Kentucky

Hasn’t even been there 2 years and he’s already the best punter in College Football.

A big hello to his dad John, aka Duff, if by some divine miracle ever reads this!

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