Australian Cricket Review: 1st November

I’ve always wondered if George Bailey was 2 cards short of a deck.

It’s a shame about Glenn Maxwell having to take time away from the game, but in this day and age, we can’t afford to take claims about mental health problems lightly.

Tour Match

Pakistan 4/138 (17.5) defeated the Cricket Australia XI 6/134 (20) by 6 wickets @ Bankstown

POTM: Shadab Khan (Pak) – 3/30 (4)

I’m pretty sure there were more Pakistanti fans in Bankstown just watching the players walk out, than there were in total at the Gabba on Wednesday night.

They would have liked what they saw, because it was the best T20 team in International Cricket, versus Chris Lynn, Lloyd ‘The Holy Tomato’ Pope, and a bunch of players who were most likely computer generated in Cricket 07.

It showed on the scoreboard.

In their first hitout in Australia, the Pakkies struck first ball when Mohammad Ifran clean bowled Ryan Gibson, which brought Lynn in for a brief hit around, and he brought up 24 off 16 balls before getting skittled by Wahab Riaz, Nathan McSweeney scored 30 before he went, and that was the story of the CA innings, as pretty much every player got to double figures before the Pakistani attack put the clamps on, and they would finish up on 134, as Shadab Khan claimed 3 wickets from his 4 overs.

Chasing what was a cannon fodder total, Azam and Zaman did the bulk of the work with a 78 run opening stand, with Zaman top scoring with 43 off 39, aespite losing a couple of wickets late, this was a chase even Pakistan couldn’t screw up, and they got there with 2 overs still in hand, as Khan’s efforts with the ball earned him POTM honours.

Marsh One Day Cup

Queensland 268 (50) defeated WA 242 (48.1) by 26 runs @ Carrara

POTM: Marnus Labradoodle (QLD) – 87 off 89

I turned the zombie box on this morning to watch the game, and the first thing I notice- The absolute state of that outfield.

The only thing that looks like a bigger mess on the Gold Coast at this time of year is a kid on Schoolies.

Shaun Marsh won the toss and sent the Queenslanders into bat on an unknown Carrara wicket, which will be a feature come the Big Bash, and if one could describe it in two words, it would be, chugging along.

Max Bryant and Usman Khawaja got things going with a 96 run opening stand at just on a run a ball, but after Bryant went, the Queenslanders lost 2/15, and it was once again left to the expat South African Steve Smith impersonator to build the Queensland innings.

First it was a 72 run stand with Bryce Street, until Street arrived at a crossroads and went for 37, and then a few brief ones with Jimmy Pearson and Michael Neser, as Labradoodle moved on towards what would’ve been another century, along the way surviving Marsh’s attempt to run him out with a dart.

Great cricket all round

Marnus eventually went for the cursed 87 after attempting yet another Steve Smith slapshot, and the last 3 overs were pretty much Ben Cutting slapping 2 sixes in a brief 5 ball innings, and the Bulls would be all out for 268, as Stoinis claimed 3 wickets in the last over to finish with 4/50.

As the WA chase started to build, Josh Philippe went in the 9th over, and D’Arcy Short dismissed himself 2 overs later, so he could pack his bags and hop on a plane for Melbourne to join the Australian team, leaving Cam Bancroft and Shaun Marsh to take up the chase.

The Bulls were creating plenty of chances, but somehow every 50/50 moment went against them, as the century stand came up, and so did half centuries for both Sandgropers.

Marsh started getting busy with 15 overs to go, but in the 38th over, he looked like he’d gone one too big by picking out young Bryce Street in the deep, but Street ran into an intersection where the shade met the sun, and he spilt the catch like a drunk woman trying to hold champagne on Cup Day.

Marsh finally went for 85 when he picked up Ben Cutting’s , but that 152 run partnership had swung the match right back in favour of the Sandgropers.

That momentum was promptly wasted by Stoinis, who wasted 7 out of 8 balls (He got better), leaving WA to chase 78 off the last 10 overs.

Bancroft went swinging for 72, and the run rate just kept creeping up, as it became apparent to Stoinis that he’d probably stuffed up, and that this wasn’t the type of wicket where trying to mow down 50 runs in the last 6 overs was possible.

Stoinis tried pinching a bye, then sent Cartwright back midstream, who promptly slipped, knew he was a dead man walking, and Xavier Bartlett made Hilton the latest victim of the stump pulling trend started by Pat Cummins.

It got even worse when Coulter Nile went next ball for a duck, after providing Khawja with some low catching practice, and the target became a more difficult 38 off 24, with Stoinis having it all to do.

On that note, he promptly popped one straight to Khawaja for a disappointing 23 off 28, and that was that- WA lost 3 for 2, and the Bulls had put an unbearable squeeze on their knackers.

I find myself thinking that if Marcus Stoinis was a racehorse, you’d geld him, and then you’d geld him again, and then put blinkers on him, and then apply the tongue tie, and then geld him again…. and he still wouldn’t focus.

Things slowly wound down from there, and eventually Michael Neser finished off the Sandgropers with a sharp reflex caught and bowled.

2/189 and in 3rd gear, to being all out for 242 and the hydraulics shitting the bed.

It should be said that Queensland did apply the squeeze and pull out a win that was looking pretty unlikely after 35 overs, but WA’s ‘mismanagement’ of that run chase in those last 15 overs was bordering on idiotic, especially from so-called senior players, when a guaranteed spot in the One Day Final was up for grabs with a win.

They’d better butter up for the Shield.

Sheffield Shield: Day 1

Stumps: Tasmania 5/118 vs Victoria 127 @ Blundstone Arena

Just hours before this occurred, Andrew McDonald announced he was standing down as coach of the Vics, due to becoming Alfie Langer’s senior assistant…. among his many coaching roles.

Based on that scoreboard, it’s the most well-timed move since Lewis Hamilton went from McLaren to Mercedes in 2013.

After being 6/55 at Lunch, followed by that hilarious scoreline of 8-66, you might think they got skittled for double digits, but Victoria somehow reached 127 before being bowled out halfway through the second session, thanks to Nic Maddinson hanging around long enough to conjure up an attacking 69.


Oddly enough, 7 Victorian batsmen were dismissed in single figures, and yet, none of them were dismissed for a duck.

As soon as the Tasmanians wandered out to bat, Beau Webster was clean bowled by Potassium Peter Siddle on the third ball of the Tasmanian innings, which leads me to think that this Bellerive wicket is the complete antithesis of the Junction Oval.

No wonder the Vics struggled.

With Tassie also struggling to get going at 3/31, George Bailey, one of the most accomplished shit talkers in Australian cricketing history, did this in the 34th over.

Fox Cricket showed him doing the exact same thing to Mitchell Starc last week in the Marsh Cup (With success), and hilariously, it worked again, as Gorgeous George dispatched Tremain to a wide open square leg boundary for 4, on his way to 41.

Twitter: Cricket Australia

I proclaim this, THE SUMMER OF GEORGE!

15 wickets on Day 1 at Bellerive, Tassie 9 runs behind, Matty Wade unbeaten on 44, and in all, only 6 out of 17 batsmen made it to double figures.

In all, this is just another case of strange things happening in the Apple Isle.

Finally, it’s great to see the Betoota Advocate wrote an article about my cricket reviews!

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