If you ask me, deciding who hosted THE ELIMINATOR was like building a swimming pool in the Sims 2, sticking all your sims in it, removing the ladder, and seeing who lasted the longest before they drowned.

The Hurricanes and Thunder were the unlucky winners.

Matty Wade and the 2nd Best Knock of BBL 09

After their massive win over the Thunder on Friday which kept their finals chances alive going to the City of Churches, the Cane Train needed a driver to keep them going in BBL 09.

As if on queue, Matty Wade put his captain’s hat on, pumped that bad boy full of coal and those weird logs from Back To The Future Part III, ripped the brake lines, and said FULL. STEAM. AHEAD.

An unbeaten 130 off 61, supplementing D’Arcy Short’s highly disappointing 72 off 55 in their 203-run opening partnership, good for the 2nd best all-time in the Big Bash.

I thought it was hilarious that Wade reached his ton off 48 balls, when at the same time, Short had also faced 48 balls… and had only just reached his half-century.

Anyway, despite a good knock of 66 off 33 from Phil Salt (What a lightweight), the Strikers lost too many wickets to ever be a serious chance, falling 10 runs short, and thus, the Cane Train thundered up from 6th to 4th, after looking like the very definition of a busted arse while Short was in India.

A summation of the Melbourne Stars’ last 3 games

10-1 to start the season, home field secured, and they’ve warmed up for their inevitable finals choke by losing 3 consecutive games convincingly to the Sixers (In a DLS game), the Strikers, and they were arse-whipped by the Heat in one of Brisbane’s random brilliant performances.

If anything sums up those performances, it’s this shot from Nathan Coulter-Nile first ball on Saturday, well caught by AB playing the role of Ian Healy and Boony.

Here’s the thoughts of the Fox Cricket commentators.

The Pre-Pubescent Pitch Invader

Thank god he didn’t take his clothes off, or 10,000 people would’ve been added to the sex offenders list.

On one hand, he’s going to get banned for at least 5 years, on the other, he’s a lucky bastard, because he never has to attend a Heat game in person.

Although, I think a more suitable punishment would be making him play for the Heat.

Marnus Lockedbikechain and Steve Smith really are inseparable

Ben Cutting sending Will Sutherland into the 3rd Deck

And didn’t the crowd up there love it.

All none of them.

MORE EXAMPLES OF BBL FIELDING

Will Sutherland dropping a potential caught & bowled of Josh Philippe…

And then running out James Vince on the deflection.

Chris Morris completely losing his bearings

D’Arcy Short spilling Phil Salt and then batting the ball over the rope

And Jack Prestwidge with some crucial BBL FIELDING

Yeah, it was only Aaron Finch with 3 overs to go, it didn’t mean that much.

Unfortunately, it got even worse in the next over, as Jacky looked to misjudge the bounce of the ball, giving Finch his latest half-century, and narrowing the chase down to 10 off 8.

I’d wager his sister Georgia may very well have done better there.

To provide some further context as to how badly the Heat used Prestwidge, he got bumped up to No.7, and could only conjure up 4 off 6, and despite being an all-rounder, THEY DIDN’T EVEN PUT HIM IN THE ATTACK ONCE.

MARNUS GOT AN OVER AND GOT TAKEN FOR 11.

ENJOY THE OFF-SEASON, BOOF.

BBL FIELDING has spread to the Australian Open

It all makes sense – It was Herschelle Gibbs trying to catch that souvenir.

BBL FIELDING

First two examples this week come from Nathan McSweeney, aka Mop Head, who made his debut for the Renegades on Saturday, and after making SFA, he did some good things in the field, such as denying Josh Philippe a boundary with a Superman dive.

Technically speaking that’s BBL FIELDING because he’s dropped a catch, but I should point out that he did save a boundary.

But, Maccer one upped that, as Steve Smith pummeled the Renegades into oblivion, putting in an audition for Cirque Du Soleil to deny Smudge what was destined to be a boundary (Most likely a 6).

Bravo young fella, shame your teammates were useless.

And another nod goes to Nick Larkin, getting rid of Chris Lynn with a beauty of a chest mark at the Punt Road End no more than 15 out dead in front of goal.

Crowd Catches

Our first nominee is former South Australian Shield paceman Nick Benton, who managed to pick off Matty Wade on his Buck’s Night in the SACA Members, and he duly celebrated his textbook crowd catch.

Ah, South Australians – What a strange race.

And another nod goes to James Pattinson, who decided to increase the degree of difficulty by claiming Matt Renshaw in his batting gloves.

Aaron Finch’s Century

109 off 68 balls, which was apparently so pitiful that Finchy took the blame for the Renegades losing, primarily for not scoring quickly enough – Scoring 40 off 40, followed by his half-century off 45 balls being an example.

Yes, cower your head in shame Finchy, scoring 130 at a strike rate of 200 is all the rage these days.

AB finally shows up

71 off 37 from the man with no relation to Fany de Villiers, earning him the Player of the Match nod, and it ended up being the only time we really saw the best of AB during his brief stint in Australia.

And quite fittingly for Heat fans, the only time they got an AB performance worth the price of admission was in Melbourne.

Rain and Hales Finishes Off The Scorchers

What an emergency signing Morne Morkel was.

Played 1 game, bowled 1 over… and he got carted for 18.

I should also note Daniel Sams broke the record for the most wickets in a BBL season, with 25, enough to beat Kane Richardson’s record of 24 from last season.

It does help when you’re playing a season with as many games as a Major League Baseball season.

The Adelaide Marathon

Normally, the only time people utilise a power walk in Adelaide is at the airport to get the first flight out of the joint.