Cricket

BBL 09 Review: The Finals

A visual description of the Adelaide Strikers
(Footage: Fox Cricket)

You know, for 3 days after the regular season ended, I reminded myself about how much I didn’t miss the Big Bash.

Then Married at First Sight started.

Straight off the bat, I liked how gimmicky the titles of the finals were.

THE ELIMINATOR, THE QUALIFIER, THE KNOCK-OUT, THE CHALLENGER.

The perfect ending to this meme of a season would’ve been THE WASHOUT.

They all sound like either a season 6 Seinfeld episode, or something Tina Turner would appear out of nowhere to say, and send everyone in a frenzy.


The Team Of The Tournament

None of these players performed well on Saturday
Twitter: Fox Cricket

Josh Inglis gets the keeper’s spot, and some (Possibly Sixers fans) would argue he isn’t even the best Western Australian keeper named Josh.

Pretty solid team all-round, and it was also announced that Big Stoin got the nod for Player Of The Tournament (Shock horror) over Tom Curran and Alex Hales, who was probably the biggest omission from the team.

The Oil Rig was promptly rewarded by the Australian selectors…

By watching Mitch Marsh get recalled to the limited overs squad.

Clearly disappointed, Big Stoin justified their decision in the Final, by not even lasting the 1st Over of the chase.


The Crowd Catch Of The Big Bash

Who needs two hands when one will do.

Thank goodness 80% of the crowd was washed away by the rain, allowing a beautiful unimpeded attempt at the catch.

Bravo young man, I wouldn’t be surprised if the Sydney Thunder offer you a contract next season.


Bucket Castles = The Family Friendly Beer Snake

Here’s the 13-story edition from last week in Adelaide….

Which collapsed… like the Strikers

And the 12-story performance from last night at the SCG

To the eye, I think the Sydney castle might have them covered for sheer volume…. and it didn’t collapse.

As far as we know.


How To Lose The Big Bash Final

Step 1: Have the Oil Rig bat like a complete dickhead on the 4th ball of the chase

Step 2: Nic Maddinson

Step 3: Have your captain prove he still can’t train smart by going for a wild sweep

Step 4: Run a lazy single, then try and turn it into 2… only to slip on the turn, and realise you’re screwed with a capital F.

On one hand, I’m disappointed the Final wasn’t washed out, because it would’ve been a fitting end to this giant joke of a season.

On the other hand, I’m glad they got enough play in, so we could all watch the Stars inevitably shit the bed.

That said, the Sixers did win 3 consecutive games against them, so you can make the bigger argument that the better team won the title.


A Classic Steve Smith Sixers Title Coincidence

It could be like how Travis Varcoe kicked the opening goals of the 2011 and 2018 Grand Finals.

Both of them ended with Collingwood losing.


The Other Finals


Alex Hales sends George Bailey’s career into the Derwent

If it wasn’t Hales that finished off the Hurricanes, it was Jono Cook, better known as the Bondi Speed Dealer, who was superb with the ball, taking 4/21, including scalping both Matty Wade and D’a’r’c’y Short inside the opening 7 overs.

Bailey himself was removed by Chris Morris thanks to a sharp catch from sub fielder Chris ‘Murali’ Green.

How to ensure you won’t ever get picked for Australia

Jono’s performance carries on a trend that is backed up by history:

1770 – Cook dominates in Australia (Subject to historical debate)

2010 – Cook dominates in Australia

2020 – Cook dominates in Australia

If you ask me, the ending to the Hurricanes’ season was the universe’s punishment for James Faulkner not committing to announcing he’s gay on Instagram last May.


The Stars once again drop a wet fart in a final


Fun fact – Clive Rose was dropped for Alex Keath before that final

Only the Stars could go 8 years without scoring <100 runs, and then get bowled out for 99 in a final.

Nothing sums up that innings more than Nic Maddinson powering on to 16 off 18 and then needlessly trying to smash Garry The GOAT…. successfully picking out Steve O’Keefe at point.

In fairness to Nic, he performed well above his Stars average with that knock of 16.

Which has since been lowered

I also saw Maddo compared to Frank Abagnale, in that they are both renowned con artists who enjoy saying Catch Me If You Can.

The poor bugger’s already taken time off due to mental health issues this season… wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t even play Big Bash cricket anymore.

Warnie was so angry at the Stars, that he started rambling about seagulls.


Steve Smith clean bowled by a breeze

Typical – The zing bails don’t get dislodged when the ball actually hits them, but they will the moment a slight breeze picks up.

But on that note, this means the wind has made more of an impact on Steve Smith’s stumps than New Zealand’s bowling attack.



The Adelaide Star-ikers

Beautiful.

3-115, chasing a mere 149….

And then Alex Carey performed the most brazen act by a Carey since Wayne went into a toilet at Glenn Archer’s house.

Callum Ferguson did the rest with some superb fielding.

6 for 24.

Against the Chunder.

In a Final.

Hahahahahahahahaha.

The more you look at the Strikers’ performances in the Big Bash Finals, the more you realise they’re just the Stars with the bullet proof vest of going one season without spudding things up.

BBL 01-03 = Didn’t even make the finals

BBL 04-05 = Minor premiers and got arse-whipped by both Sydney teams (Usman Khawaja demolishing them in BBL 05 the pick of the bunch)

BBL 06 = Boredom

BBL 07 = Actually got it together and won the title

BBL 08 = Barely dodged the wooden spoon

BBL 09 = Got beaten by the Chunder in the finals again

The most mediocre successful Big Bash franchise.


Chris Tremain’s vintage BIG BASH DEATH BOWLING

It was hard to tell who was under more stress – Chris, everyone at the Thunder, or Fox Cricket’s graphics operator.

Fortunately, that near momentum-changing over meant nothing, thanks to this ripper of a high catch from of all people, Arjun Nair.


The Stars actually showing up at least once in February

Just when it looked like the Thunder might meme their way to the title, Marcus Stoinis sent Jono Cook 80 metres over his head on the 2nd ball of the night.

It also helped that the Thunder reverted back to type – After committing the cardinal sin of not allowing Nic Maddinson to waste 1/4 of the innings (He went for 11 off 11), the very next ball, Chris Morris got Marcus Stoinis to flick one down the leg side on 19….

But, Jay Lenton was sadly struck down by the latest killer virus – You may have heard of of it, it’s called BBL KEEPING.

Oh no, Libby, oh no.

It got even worse after Stoinis and Nick Larkin were getting set and really starting to pummel Daniel ‘Uncle’ Sams and friends.

Larkin, on just 8 off 11, flicked a really cheap shot straight to deep square leg, which in 90 out of 100 circumstances would result in him being dismissed.

Fortunately, 10 of those 100 usually occur in the Big Bash, so Sams completely misread the play and watched it sail just of his reach and over the rope for 4.

HEY BOYS, IT WASN’T LIKE IT WAS A FINAL, AND ONE OF THEM WAS THE BEST BLOODY BATSMAN THIS BIG BASH.

Extracting full punishment, Stoinis and Larkin smacked out another 80 runs, they both coincidentally scored 83, the Stars smacked 194 thanks to Larkin’s work, the Thunder never looked like chasing it and only reached 166, yada yada yada, Saturday happened.

And that kids, is why you take your catches.

Or, just don’t play in the Big Bash and you won’t get cursed.

Categories: Cricket

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