Yes, that image is real.

And yes, Dana Hooker probably felt all of it.

Amazingly enough, that’s the second week running she’s been kicked in the face… poor bugger.

St Kilda (3.1-19) defeated Melbourne (1.8-14) @ Moorabbin

This was the first Pride Game of the weekend, and I could be wrong, but I think the colours on the Saints’ backs threw the Dees ladies off – Quite a few passes went to teammates who weren’t quite teammates.

Anyway, here’s a history lesson, it took St Kilda 49 games and a different century to get their first win in the VFL – After being a foundation club in 1897, they didn’t win until Round 1, 1900.

It took them 3 games in the AFLW.

The funny coincidence?

Both of the Saints’ inaugural wins were against Melbourne.

That said, the scoring back in 1900 was probably a bit higher than Friday evening – 3.1 to 1.8.

Yep, 1 goal and 8 behinds – 2 of them rushed.

That’s one goal fewer than Caitlin Greiser kicked for the game, as she cemented her status as The G-Train the Saints have been searching for since the retirement of the one and only G-Train, Fraser Gehrig.

Remember when he gave away a 150m penalty…. and then another free kick after the goal?

He was one of a kind.

Anyway, where was I?

Oh yeah, 1 goal 8.

And the Demons wonder to themselves why they’ve never made the AFLW Finals.

This kind of result is exactly why.

The impossible has happened – An expansion team has knocked off an established team.

Carlton (8.3-51) defeated Western Bulldogs (4.6-30) @ Whitten Oval

In the second Pride Game of the weekend, the Bulldogs and Blues played for the first time since Tayla Harris ended up immortalised in a statue thanks to the efforts of the mouth breathing sect of Twitter, and it was a result which showed the direction both teams have continued to track in over the past year.

The Blues jumped the Dogs early on with 3 goals in the opening 9 minutes, and despite the Bullies coming back at various points (Including cutting the lead to 9 points in the last quarter), they never led at any moment during the day.

Maddy Prespakis will probably rack up the 3 votes with 24 disposals and 6 tackles, in the kind of performance that she’s made regulation, and Georgia Gee – G by first name, Gee by Surname – Did the damage up forward, with 3 goals and 6 tackles, causing quite a few Doggies defenders to sleep with the nightlight on Saturday.

THE PINEAPPLE GRAPPLE

Gold Coast (4.4-28) drew with Brisbane Lions (4.4-28) @ Metricon Stadium

In a historic inaugural Women’s Pineapple Grapple, for the first time this year, it’s time….

TO PLAY THE DRAW SONG.

A big effort from the Lions to scrounge something, after they smacked the wall and went goalless in the 2nd Half after leading by 15 points at the half, on the back of suffering a huge loss pre-game.

Except it wasn’t a player, it was coach Craig Starcevich, who spent Friday night in hospital, leaving coaching duties to Sauce Merrett.

Anyway, as the song says, only football was the winner on Saturday.

Fremantle (5.3-33) defeated Collingwood (4.6-30) @ Fremantle Oval

Pound for pound, this WAS the match of the round.

2 unbeaten teams, pressure galore, Collingwood dominating general play, and in the face of enormous pressure, Freo’s defence was stronger than a Volvo in a head-on.

Despite winning the Inside 50 count 34-21, the Pies kicked just 1 goal in the 2nd Half – And just 1 behind in the last quarter (A shot from Chloe Molloy that was never on target).

The fact that Freo were even in this game despite the sheer weight of numbers against them was a testament to their gameplan.

They had just 4 Inside 50s in the 1st Quarter, but kicked 3 goals, as the Pies had their chances, but the scoreboard will show that they simply didn’t convert.

Freo didn’t let them.

After a big scare, the streak continues – Freo are the last unbeaten team this season, they still haven’t lost in WA since Trent Cooper took over.

GWS (6.6-42) defeated West Coast (2.2-14) @ Blacktown

Oddly enough, West Coast have now played at Blacktown in both the AFL and the AFLW home & away seasons, with the AFL side playing there back in Round 3, 2012 in the Giants’ inagural season.

They could be the only team to ever achieve this, considering GWS won’t be playing many home games outside the Showground or Canberra.

Anyway, like that 2012 game, it was a one-sided rout – The big difference was it was GWS delivering it.

The Eagles didn’t score until the final quarter, and the moment that summed up their afternoon was Dana Hooker copping a horrid inadvertent boot to the throat/jaw from Ingrid Nielsen deep into the final quarter.

Dana also copped one in the Derby last week.

I once saw Jeff White get cracked flush in the face by Stephen King during a Final in 2005.

He didn’t come back until Round 4 of 2006.

Hopefully Dana is back a bit sooner.

Anyway, the Eagles didn’t kick a goal until Mikayla Bowen shanked a kick following a free kick that somehow wasn’t touched, which the umpire happily payed advantage for, as everyone stood dumbfounded.

Mainly because the Eagles had actually kicked a goal.

They got another goal a minute from time, when Imahra Cameron marked 40 out at right half forward, and full of confidence, took a pot shot that simply sailed over the pack for a major – Nobody was upset.

I thought it was quite funny to hear a considerable cheer for West Coast kicking a goal in a game that was as good as done.

Did they mistake Western Sydney for Western Australia?

North Melbourne (12.4-76) defeated Richmond (2.8-20) @ Visy Park

In 30+ degree heat in Melbourne, Richmond got absolutely roasted on the field in more ways than one.

The scoreboard was a very fair reflection on the dominance of the Roos – Kaitlyn Ashmore and skipper Emma Kearney each kicked 3 goals, Daisy Bateman kicked 2, in what was a thorough team performance around the ground from the Blue & White.

That’s really all I can say – Richmond are experiencing growing pains.

Very painful… growing pains.

Adelaide (8.1-49) defeated Geelong (6.2-38) @ GMHBA Stadium

The AFLW truly is opposite land.

Geelong got the wrong end of a crucial game-deciding umpiring decision…. at Kardinia Park.

Maddy McMahon was called for deliberately rushing a behind with a minute to go, handing Crow Danielle Ponter her 4th goal of the game, and guaranteeing the win.

That’s a really strange decision, considering Ponter was within that unofficial 10m area inside the goalsquare, which would loosely qualify as ‘under pressure’ for the defender, and McMahon pretty much carries the ball over entirely on momentum.

That said, to say it cost the Cats the game is incorrect – Even if it was still a rushed behind, it’s a goal the difference with a minute to go, and the Cats have to win the 4x100m relay up the ground to kick a goal and tie the scores.

Regardless, it detracted from what was a pretty good contest – The teams were a perfect 100% in front of goal in the 1st Half, and Geelong ended up kicking the highest score in their brief AFLW history.

The cruel irony being that they lost.

Danielle Higgins had 19 disposals and kicked 2 goals for the Catters, but she couldn’t top the Crows’ Ebony Marinoff and Ponter for best afield – Marinoff was massive with 25 disposals (17 contested), 12 tackles and 11 clearances, and Ponter’s 4 goals and an equal game-high 4 marks did the damage on the scorebard.

So the Crows follow Queen’s advice from 1973 and keep themselves alive at 2-1, and as for the Cats, the cushion of a crap Conference may not be enough to keep their hopes alive.