Darth Vader Coaching A Footy Team

Given it is Star Wars day, this random title stems back to that moment when Darth Vader, Dark Lord of the Sith, declared himself a Footscray fan before the Bulldogs played Essendon in Round 7, 2014.

Those Stormtroopers are still more accurate than Lachie Hunter

Given he is a representation of evil, I’m surprised Vader didn’t declare himself a Carlton or Collingwood fan.

What you didn’t see afterwards was Lord Vader showing Brendan McCartney his displeasure about the Dogs performance, after they lost to the Bombers by 8 points.

Luke Beveridge was later appointed with Vader’s approval.

If you ask me, upon looking at the available evidence, everyone’s favourite emotionally and physically crippled Sith Lord would make a very effective coach of a footy team.

No players will back chat him out of fear of being choked to death, and he can use the force to influence the umpires into effectively rigging the game.

Here’s some hypothetical scenarios.

Anytime a player questions his decision making:

A player gets axed for crap performances:

When a player complains about not being picked:

A player does something good:

Getting overly emotional after a tough defeat:

Giving a player a new contract with a reduced salary:

Deciding to sign a player from a rival club:

Giving someone a second chance:

Nobody will dare mess with a 7-foot asthmatic in charge of a team.

Still on the subject of Star Wars in sports, a few years ago, the A-League tried a Star Wars Round of their own, to coincide with the release of The Last Jedi.

Unfortunately, they missed out on a golden opportunity to use a bunch of BB-8s as the match balls.

Plus, you can already play the Cantina Band on a 2 hour loop to enhance the already great comedy value of watching an A-League game.

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