AFL

Tuesday Tithbits: 9th June


This new WordPress format is immensely annoying

So they’ve changed the Typography Settings, and I find them an inconvenience.

It used to be that you could custom change the font size (I always enjoyed using 30 for headings), now it’s a preset size between the default, small, normal, medium, large, and huge.

WHAT WAS SO BAD ABOUT THE OLD SETTINGS!

How does JT change a light bulb?

He doesn’t, he just stands there, talking about how good the old one was.


I was left off the Queen’s Birthday Honours List again

Pfft, what do I care, it’s all a big laugh – They gave an Officer award to a highly-respected public figure like Professor Marcia Langton, then bloody well made Bronwyn Bishop an AO for “Distinguished service of a high degree to Australia or to humanity at large.”

Distinguished service of a high degree to Australia or to humanity at large…. if you ignore that bit at the end that finished her Parliamentary career.

Mrs Bishop picked up the award in a taxpayer-funded helicopter.

Although, I should remember that it took the Government until 2015 to make Judith Durham and the other Seekers all officers, which was only 50 years overdue.

It appears I have a long way to go.


Fans returning to the AFL

In a positive start before the season returns, the Showdown will get 2,000 fans, or as South Australians would call it, the average Port Adelaide crowd circa 2012.

Bring back the tarps Kochie, give us a laugh for once.

In the wake of the NRL getting approval to allow fans in suites for NSW games,, Channel 9 Queensland went with the story that 1,000 patrons would also be allowed into The Gabba for the Brisbane-Fremantle game – The Gold Coast were supposedly being realistic and going for 500 people at Carrara.

King Wally dropped the bombshell, although Premier Anastasia Palaszczuk hit back with the strongest type of denial.

CATEGORICAL DENIAL.

“Not this weekend” – Just to leave everyone hanging.

Given they haven’t won since last August, a shocking run of 4 consecutive defeats, do the Lions even have 1000 fans left in Queensland?


West Coast’s stay at Royal Pines is going superbly

Yesterday, before they’d even taken off for Queensland, an electrical fault started a fire in the elevator, and 5 people were assessed for smoke inhalation.

Keeping the streak going, the Gold Coast Ambos were back on the scene today:

Just per chance, did they build the joint on a sacred burial ground?

Josh Reynolds vs Phil Rothfield

Apparently this was enough to make Michael Maguire bring Josh into the Wests team for Benji Marshall.

Last night, Buzz broke the story that Josh had apparently been nabbed last night for driving without a license and apparently drug driving after arriving back in Sydney from travelling to Brisbane to witness Wests Tigers unsuccessful clash with the Titans.

Josh cleared his side of the story, and gave us a lovely shot of Buzz’s mug.

I wouldn’t be shocked if NASA called up Buzz Aldrin and asked him to land another Lunar Module on that noggin.

If that wasn’t enough, Josh went one better on Buzz, with another adaption of the classic line “Meet me in the car park.”

For comedy value I still think John Bateman’s bald joke towards James Hooper was the better response to a Fox League journo:


Paul Gallen hiring a lawyer after the verbal bout with Spudd Carroll

Could you imagine a world without lawyers?

This is three lines from Buzz in the Sunday Telegraph:

“Carroll received a warning letter from Brydens Lawyers on Friday.”

“The pair have recently traded insults, including Carroll accusing Gallen of lacking leadership during the Sharks’ 2011 peptides scandal.”

“A furious Gallen rang Carroll to thrash it out then hung up on him. The next day he hired his lawyer.”

Hahahaha – The legal version of whinging to the ref.

Imagine if the right people had made that Gal vs Iron Mike Tyson fight into reality – The court case for all the shit talking would’ve been bigger than the bout.


Apparently the Number 69 is funny

Mighty Meerkat won at start #69 at Mackay today, and Russell Leonard couldn’t resist making a joke about the magic number.

Hehehehehehe, 69.


Adam the ‘Hungry Hungry Hippo’ Hyeronimus

Yet another jockey who has put in an application to replace Crazy Craig in the Chak Eaters Guide.

From Racing NSW:

  • Charges 1 & 2 – AR115(1)(e)

AR 115 Jockey and apprentice jockey misconduct

(1) A jockey or apprentice jockey must not:

(e) bet, or have any interest in a bet, on any race or contingency relating to thoroughbred racing involving a race in which he or she is riding.

(3) If a jockey or apprentice jockey breaches subrule (1)(e), a disqualification of not less than 2 years must be imposed unless there is a finding that a special circumstance exists, in which case that penalty may be reduced.

Charge 1 – Had an interest in a bet of $500 on Lucky Meteor in Race 3 at Canterbury 5 November 2016, when he rode Lucky Meteor in that race.

Charge 2 – Had an interest in a bet of $500 on Limbo Soul in Race 2 at Rosehill 22 February 2017, when he rode Limbo Soul in that race.

  • Charges 3 to 31 – AR115(1)(c)

AR 115 Jockey and apprentice jockey misconduct

(1) A jockey or apprentice jockey must not:

  • (c) bet, or have any interest in a bet, or facilitate a bet, on any race;

Charge 3 to 31 – Between 22 June 2016 and 21 January 2019 he had an interest in 29 bets on thoroughbred racing.

  • Charge 32 – AR232(i)

AR 232 Failure to observe processes and directions of PRAs or Stewards

A person must not:

  • (i) give any evidence at an interview, investigation, inquiry, hearing and/or appeal which is false or misleading.

Charge 32 – Did give evidence at a Stewards inquiry conducted on 30 May 2019 in respect to his interest in bets on thoroughbred racing, in the knowledge such evidence was false.

For the record, Lucky Meteor dropped out to finish 3rd, and Limbo Soul won easily at $3.20, so Adam at least batted at 50%.

Still, it’s an age-old issue – Jockeys punting is perfectly acceptable… until they get caught.


Winx’s Half-Sister Debuting at Canterbury

Covent Garden (Out of Vegas Showgirl) appears in Race 1 tomorrow, after getting scratched from Warwick Farm on Monday, which would’ve been more appropriate, because Winx also debuted at Warwick Farm in a midweek meeting at the start of June back in 2014.

I do feel for the filly – She hasn’t even raced, and just the mere association with Winx means she’s in the shadow of the wonder mare.

Historians would probably call that King Edward VII-itis… Because they’re living in the shadow of a Queen.


Mark Webber on the MotoGP Podcast

I’ll talk about it because I enjoyed it.

Australia’s best Formula 1 driver of the 21st century talks a huge number of things with Matt Dunn and Fran Wyld – His love of John McGuinness and the Isle Of Man TT, why he’ll never try the Dakar Rally (“Dunes scare the shit out of me”), the progression of safety in both F1 and MotoGP, Jack Miller on a factory Ducati, how he came to know Valentino Rossi thanks to Mick Doohan and Jeremy Burgess, helping Marc Marquez drive a Toro Rosso, and how he idolised Wayne Rainey when he was younger, which includes the story of finally meeting Rainey at Laguna Seca a few years ago during a Porsche PR appearance, holding up an autograph session in the process (That story starts approximately 29 minutes in)

About 13/14 minutes in, the highlight of the podcast is probably when Webber begins speaking about the comparison between MotoGP and Formula 1, and the feeling & perception of riding a 1000cc Grand Prix bike and an F1 car at top speed:

“Doing 350km/h at Monza in an F1 car, clearly it’s quick.”

“It’s quite funny, I spoke to Jorge Lorenzo about this in terms of the sensation of speed because those guys, and Valentino, there have been a few who have done the crossover on a MotoGP – even Mick Doohan did it, from the 500cc to the Williams back in the day.”

“I think that the position is quite unique in a Grand Prix car, lying down like you’re in a bathtub with your feet quite high, sort of sitting back with the steering wheel in front, and you can’t really see a huge amount.”

Even the helmet eye-port is very different to a motorcycle helmet – A motorcycle helmet is much wider – The aperture is huge, so the peripheral vision is much greater on a motorbike.”

And you’re hanging off the motorbike and you’re a lot freer, but you’re much further off the ground, and your eye line is much further off the ground than when you’re in a Formula 1 car.”

“So Jorge was of the opinion, he thought he felt he went faster and that the perception of the same speed was faster in an F1 car – Just in a straight line, not braking, because obviously that’s a totally different topic, but in terms of the speed on the straight.”

For context, this is what a Ducati (The best bike in a straight line) can achieve at Mugello.

Thanks to F1 in 1990s, someone definitely has the footage Mighty Mick’s 1998 test in the 1997 championship-winning Williams FW19 at Barcelona, which also featured 4-time Rally world champion Tommi Mäkinen.

They both hit the wall.

Good listen for all petrol heads.

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