AFL

Tuesday Tithbits: 15th December

Well, it’s only 10 days to go until December 25, a day which means absolutely nothing for well over 60% of the universe, and after the 40th anniversary of John Lennon’s death last Tuesday, I’ll kick it off this Tuesday report with another piece of Christmas-themed music.

Today marks 47 years to the day that Slade’s ‘Merry Xmas Everybody’ debuted at No.1 on the UK Singles Chart, and a week later, Noddy Holder’s band defeated Wizzard’s ‘I Wish it Could Be Christmas Everyday’ to become the Christmas No.1, and you could pinpoint 1973 as the year that the modern obsession with having the No.1 single on Christmas Day with a festive song took off, which has gone somewhat quiet of late, mainly because artists realised there was no point trying to topple Mariah Carey.

The way Rangers fans are going in Scotland, Live It Up by Mental As Anything is going to give the UK Christmas No.1 a good old-fashioned go in 2020, which would be the most unintentionally brilliant tribute to Greedy Smith.


So 12 Australian players have suffered injuries in matches against India this Summer, and Steve Smith only lasted 10 minutes in the nets

Although, you have to remember the entire Indian Test team is heading home after Adelaide to go on paternity leave, so it should balance itself out.


Eddie McGuire is stepping down as Collingwood President after 2021

Who’d have thought Prince Phillip would out-live Eddie McGuire’s tenure at Collingwood… it goes to show even Makybe Diva and Phar Lap couldn’t out-stay that old bugger.

So there I was on Monday thinking he’d re-signed, only to find out Eddie Everywhere has pulled the most un-Eddie thing ever and stood down from his beloved Magpies after a 23-year stint, which started at the end of 1998 with Collingwood in massive debt, fairly irrelevant on-field, and a year away from winning their most recent wooden spoon.

It was also smart that he did at the Collingwood Members’ Forum, because instead of Pies supporters roasting Nathan Buckley and Ned Guy alive for that shitheap of a trade period, they could focus on Eddie for a good 10 minutes.

Even to the end, he’ll have Bucks’ back.


Just on Port Adelaide’s new KFC sponsorship

Did Kochie bother to tell Kenny Hinkley that with this new deal, given everyone knows KFC don’t have a contract with Coca-Cola, that Kenny can’t drink Zero Coke on the coach’s box anymore?

It’s Pepsi and Pepsi Max for you now, Kenny boy.


Forget about the title race, the race for the Big Bash Wooden Spoon is already intense

It’s only a week in to BBL 10, and I’m already seeing an intense 3-way fight forming.

You have the boring old Perth Scorchers, who have the batting depth of a kiddies pool with little in the way of consistent talent, as they proved on Saturday night in an utterly piss poor display against the Renegades in Hobart which was doomed from the outset.

If they somehow win tomorrow night against the Stars, it’ll be because the Stars have gone the tank.

Then you have the Renegades, who went from winning easily against the Scorchers to being bowled out for 60 against the Sixers 24 hours later, the 2nd-lowest score in Big Bash history, after also giving up 130+ runs in the final 10 overs, and losing by a record 145 runs.

The Renegades were also 9-45, and they only avoided breaking their own all-time record low score of 57 thanks to Kane Richardson hitting what could be described as a 6 and out.

As someone who knows all too well about being struck repeatedly by the karma bus, that result was the universe giving the finger to the Renegades for not taking a knee before the game.

And then you have the Brisbane Heat, who are still the same old Brisbane Heat, giving everyone a laugh as Daniel Sams cracks them for 65 off 25 during a run chase of 179, because their pathetic bowling attack will outweigh anything Chris Lynn does with the bat, and Ricky Ponting will subsequently spend an entire Channel 7 broadcast ripping into them for their routinely pathetic performances.

It’s part of what makes the Big Bash such a giant meme… and we love it.


The West Coast Fever should’ve been given a harsher punishment for cheating the salary cap

Starting on -12 points in 2021 and copping a $300,000 fine ($150,000 suspended) for going 25% over the Salary Cap was an almighty whack, which it had to be, considering the Fever committed the biggest financial breach in Australian netball history, but if you ask me, it didn’t go far enough.

Now as you’ll remember, in 2018, the Fever made the Grand Final, in which they hosted the Lightning and lost narrowly, then they finished 6th out of 8 teams in 2019, which means in the 2 years they were cheating the cap by a Sultan’s bank account, they still couldn’t even win the title.

For goodness sake, I’m sick of people and teams who blatantly break the rules and still can’t win anything.

It’s an embarrassment to all decent and honest cheaters everywhere.


Supercars shut the stable door after the Mark Larkham horse bolted

So to those of you who don’t care, last week, Supercars decided beloved technical expert Mark Larkham wasn’t coming back for 2021, but unlike the news of Riana Crehan being released (Which was just as stupid), the news of Larko being given the arse saw the Supercars telephone lines and email streams absolutely lit up like a Christmas tree on Friday afternoon thanks to several thousand angry fans voicing their displeasure to Scott Seamer, soon to be known as Scott Steamer because of how crap this decision is.

Personally I would’ve thrown a flaming brick through the window, and chances are it wouldn’t have made it to the garden hedge.

How the hell could the top brass at Supercars completely underestimate how popular Larko was, considering out of all the presenters on the regular Fox Sports coverage, he’s only rivalled by Neil Crompton for fan support, simply because Larko is one of the only people smart enough to break down complex technical details into a way the average viewer can understand (An absolute must in a motorsport broadcast), and he can give you moments of gold, like dropping a brake rotor on his foot.

And picking up an extremely hot wheel nut that had just been taken off a car with his bare hand… only to realise why there was a towel on the wheel:

It just screams of a sports organisation who haven’t paid attention to their own fanbase, and Supercars might backflip and acknowledge public sentiment in the coming days, but that bridge to Larko has just about been burned for good, and there isn’t an engineer alive who could repair it.


This week in The West Australian, pick a biker gang like they’re your favourite footy team ahead of the upcoming Bikie Wars

So what you’re telling me is the Rebels are like Collingwood/Richmond, the Commancheros need some decent draft picks to get back into the Top 8 gangs, the Hell’s Angels are your GWS with the growing fanbase, the Mongols are the Gold Coast Suns, Rock Machine are Peel Thunder, and the Coffin Cheaters and the Gyspy Jokers are your long term established WA teams in West Coast and Fremantle.


Sebastian Vettel’s message to Charles LeClerc

Don’t worry Seb, Ferrari will do their darndest to make sure he wastes away.


Odd F1 fact- 16 out of 17 races in 2020 were won by drivers wearing double numbers

Lewis Hamilton, who uses No.44, won 11 races

Valtteri Bottas, who uses No.77, won 2 races

Max Verstappen, who uses No.33, won 2 races

Sergio Perez, who wears No.11, won 1 race.

The odd one out was Pierre Gasly with No.10, who won the Italian Grand Prix.

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