Lawn Bowls

Manning Jack Attack Review: 10th March

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The Habibs struggle to comprehend the sight of Todd, aka David Koch, landing a shot in-bounds

After an unscheduled week off due to the stormy weather last week, the Greatest Bowls Competition between Manning Road and the Canning River was finally back for Week 3 of Manning Jack Attack, and this week we were minus our fearless organiser Richard ‘Half’ Price, who was down in Busselton on fishing-related business, so it was left to Pricey’s predecessor AJ Heal to step back into his old shoes for the night, with scoring assistance from club volunteer Andy Lill, and this roving reporter.

But, in a testament to everyone down at Manning Memorial, outside of a minor controversy about placement of the jack between the CD’s and Young Guns (Which you can read below), and the fact that the men’s toilets were moved due to renovations, it was another smoothly run night in Pricey’s absence, and based on the outcome, it looks like his greyhound Honour Rampage missed him more than we did, because she only ran an uncharacteristic 4th despite drawing her preferred Box 8 in the last race at Cannington.

Well, I suppose Pricey and Honour Rampage have one thing in common… They both love the lure.

Finally, it was yet another humid March night in Perth, with conditions still 24 degrees Celsius with no breeze and 78% humidity when play began at 6:30pm, but hey, at least it wasn’t the unbearable horror that was Tuesday night.

The Overall Night

In a stunning form reversal, the stone motherless last-placed Dream Team finally lived up to their name and won the $30 cash with a +19 shot win against Dyed On The Run, who once again copped the biggest defeat on the night, while 2nd overall and the $20 went to the Trevor Chappells, who enjoyed a +13 shot win against the desperately unlucky Breakaways, and in for 3rd and taking the $10 was the Unbelievabowls, who recorded a +10 shot win against the Soft Girls, with the Top 3 being the only teams to win by double figures on the night.

Overall, it was a night of huge implications for the top of the ladder – The top-ranked Lawn Clippings were taken down by a fantastic comeback from Bruce and the T-Birds, who recovered from a set down to win the final 4 ends of the 2nd Set + the tiebreak thanks to a shot from Reed, which means that 4 teams are tied at the top on 10 points, with the Trevor Chappells leading on shot variance to the Empire Strikes Jack (Who defeated Crawshaw), Lawn Clippings, and the still unbeaten Young Guns, who, along with Ten Pins, are the only unbeaten teams remaining after Week 3, with just 2 points separating 1st from 12th on the ladder.

Around the greens, there was high drama on the final end between the CD’s and the aforementioned Young Guns on Synthetic 2.

The Young Guns won the 1st Set 6-3, but the CD’s were ahead 4-2 and holding 2 shots on the final end of the 2nd Set, before Brodie ‘Quarter’ Price smashed the jack into the ditch with a clutch shot as the skip, which ignited a ‘fierce’ debate about whether or not the jack was still live, as the CD’s would’ve held shot and forced a tiebreak if it was.

In traditional lawn bowls, the jack is considered ‘live’ if it gets knocked into the ditch within the boundary pegs, BUT, as per the Bowls WA rules of Jack Attack, the jack was correctly re-spotted to the T, which left the Young Guns holding 2 shots, tying the set 4-4 and giving them the win, as the cries for an inquiry from Nat, Helen and Kelly about the the organiser’s son getting a favourable call have been dismissed by the stewards as a frivolous protest.

Another highlight was the 1st Set between rivals The Bowling Stones and the Tie Break Turkeys, which began with a bang as the Stones achieved a full count of 6 shots ON THE FIRST END, but John and his Turkeys tied the set at 8 shots apiece with 4 shots on the last end, but the Manning Primary mums got the win 6-2 in the 2nd Set.

I’m left thinking that John’s team name change from the Dads to the Tie Break Turkeys was a jinx… not because they can’t win a tiebreak, but that they can’t even make it to one.

Also, Missing Moo’s won their first game for the season, leaving Merkins anchored to the bottom of the ladder, The Great Bowls of Fire managed to defeat the Habibs in a tiebreak, despite losing 10-15 on total shots, Top Shots returned to the winners’ circle against Burrendah, and if you’d like to see a perfect study in contrasts, Ten Pins (Who defeated The Lenny’s) have now won all 3 of their games in tiebreaks…

On the other hand, The Bowled & The Beautiful have lost all 3 of theirs in tiebreaks, this week losing to Team Pamba in another cliffhanger ending, which means that unfortunately, The B&B are still more like The Young And The Winless.


Grass 1: Missing Moo’s (4pts +3) defeated Merkins, 3-2, 7-5

Grass 2: T-Birds (3pts +1) defeated Lawn Clippings (2pts -1), 5-8, 5-1, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Grass 3: Ten Pins (3pts +9) defeated The Lenny’s (2pts -9), 10-0, 6-7, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Grass 4: Unbelievabowls (4pts +10) defeated Soft Girls, 9-1, 5-3

Grass 5: Empire Strikes Jack (4pts +9) defeated Crawshaw CC, 9-3, 7-4

Synthetic 1: Top Shots (4pts +9) defeated Burrendah, 6-3, 7-1

Synthetic 2: Young Guns (3pts +3) defeated CD’s (1pt -3), 6-3, 4-4

Synthetic 3: Bowling Stones (3pts +4) defeated Tie Break Turkeys, 8-8, 6-2

Synthetic 4: Great Bowls of Fire (3pts -5) defeated Habibs (2pts +5), 4-12, 6-3, 2-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 5: Trevor Chappells (4pts +13) defeated The Breakaways, 11-0, 4-2

Synthetic 6: Dream Team (4pts +19) defeated Dyed On The Run, 9-1, 12-1

Synthetic 7: Team Pamba (3pts +1) defeated Bowled & The Beautiful (2pts -1), 9-3, 2-7, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Captain’s Comments

John, Tie Break Turkeys: “We gave up 6 shots on the 1st End, and to be honest we got what we deserved after putting 4 shots in the ditch and only landing 1 in play – Well played to the Bowling Stones.”

Nat, Kelly & Helen, The CD’s: “First we were playing against 3, next thing we know there’s half a dozen of those Aquinas boys after they called their mates!”

(On the jack controversy) “We were holding 2 on the last end, then Brodie on the second last shot hit the jack into the ditch, and we thought the rule was it stayed there, which would’ve given us the hold, but it was reset to the T and they got it.”

Josh, Young Guns: “In all this controversy, it shouldn’t be forgotten that Brodie came up BIG – He’s gone the drive, put the jack back on the T, and turned 2 down into 2 up and sealed the win!”

Kochie, Great Bowls of Fire: “It’s always fun playing The Habibs – Their young players bowled really well, but we scraped through, the boys came together at the end, and Jonesy stepped up and won us the tiebreak!”

Bruce, T-Birds: ” We started off very slow, I thought we were screwed, then we won the 2nd Set, then Reed stepped up in the tiebreak!”


Trevor Chapppells vs The Breakaways

After what turned into an extended break following the tiebreak defeat to Ten Pins, the Trevor Chappells were back and raring to bowl underarm against the Week 2 winners The Breakaways, which would serve as the highly unanticipated debut of the impromptu Trevor Chappells line-up, featuring THE TWO RONNIES.

Believe you me, I’ve enjoyed running this joke into the Earth’s core

I never thought that joke would actually come to fruition, but it did – Ron was back for the first time since Week 1, which was so long ago that the Australian Open was still going, and after a promising hit-out against Ten Pins, free agent signing Ronni was back with the Trevor Chappells again to complete our comedic bowling tandem, and if all goes well, Ronni will be on for the rest of the season.

Our opponents The Breakways were captained by Thea, accompanied by the hard-working cobber Lindsay, and Allison, who had some experience playing pennants, and had a pair of white bowls that apparently stood out like a sore thumb.

Anyway, despite what the score may suggest, it was another hard-fought night of bowls.

Bowls Colours: JT (Black & Green), Ron (Black & White Sharks), Ronni (Orange), Thea & Lindsay (Black with a Tulip, Thea had one side that was mostly blue), Allison (White & Pink)

1st Set (Trevor Chappells 11-0)

The Trevor Chappells won the toss and bowled first, and on her first shot of the night, Allison managed to hit the jack, but it was so early that AJ didn’t even have a chance to blow his whistle to give a bar voucher:

However, in a sign of what was to come for The Breakaways on Wednesday, the jack was open just enough for Ronni to sneak a forehand a couple of inches ahead to hold for 1-0, with Ron just short of making it 2 shots on a competitive opening end.

The 2nd End was largely forgettable, as the jack sat wide open through to the skips, but no-one besides Ron was able to land within 2 feet of the kitty, and after inventing a new unit of measurement called ‘Thong’ (A big thanks to Allison on that one) in the absence of a tape measure, a shot from JT made it a 2-shot hold for 3-0.

JT set another long end on the 3rd End as Thea promoted herself to lead, although the Chappells captain set the standard as the lead, and with Ron getting a good weight on both his shots to make it a 3 shot hold:

Lindsay (Bowling as the skip) decided that desperate times call for desperate measures and fired down two fierce drives, and to his credit, the second time around got his line right and smashed the holder out, but in the ensuing carnage, his shot smashed Thea’s bowl out, and after some measurements by Thong, what was 3 shots had actually been turned into 5.

Ron had the first 2 shots, JT (To the left of screen) was 3rd, Ronni’s shallow bowl way out to the right of screen was 4th, and JT’s original holder, which was just inside the gutter, was the fifth shot.

Remarkably, despite the score at that stage being 8-0, outside of the powerplay ends (With doubled scores), the 3rd End of the 1st Set was the last end of the night where either team held more than 1 shot.

On the 4th End, Ronni bowled a shot that the Manning Darts crew would describe as a Bullseye:

Pricey hasn’t seen this photo, but I can confirm that is 100% genuine

That shot was so perfect it was actually better than getting a toucher and moving the jack, which technically happened when Allison hit Ronni’s holder and created a gap the width of a thong on the backhand side, which led to an unreal moment when Lindsay bowled a backhand that you couldn’t have put enough cash on hitting the jack and holding, only for the bowl to pass straight between the holder and the jack, a moment that the six bowlers (Plus AJ, who was talking to Ron at the time) are all testament to.

Poor Lindsay – His luck was so bad on Wednesday that if he’d tried jumping into a pool, he’d have hit the ladder and bounced back onto the tiles.

So it was 9-0 with both teams still to play the powerplay on the final end, which was another close contest between Ronni and Allison, but completing a perfect set for the Trevor Chappells, Ronni was the clear holder to turn 1 into 2, with Allison getting the second holder ahead of Ron, and thus, the set ended 11-0.

2nd Set (Trevor Chappells 4-2)

In another case of same old, same old, the 1st End was another hold of 1, as the Trevor Chappells skipper managed to hold from Allison:

On the 2nd End, Allison was slightly ahead of JT, but with the forehand side obstructed, Ron was able to produce a backhand that hit the inside of the kitty and knocked it closer to his teammate, extending the run to 7 consecutive ends, although he score was only 2-0 after two ends.

On the 3rd End, JT held with the opening shot of the end, but it was yet another hold of 1 with Thea (Who by this point was back bowling as the lead) just ahead of Ron, and after 3 ends, it was only 3-0.

Comfortably obstructed as Lindsay prepares to fire down a backhand

On the 4th End, Ronni was holding with a back bowl, but that was improved upon by Allison, who hit the jack for the second time on the night, but to add insult to injury, not only was she denied a drinks voucher, the jack pretty much snuggled next to Ronni’s bowl for the second time on the night:

To her credit, Allison’s follow-up shot was even better considering where it settled, but in the story of the night, it was only good enough to keep the hold to 1 shot, thanks to the advantage of being jack high just ahead of Ron’s second shot, which needed to creep forward another inch:

So despite the Trevor Chappells winning all 9 ends to this point, the 2nd Set score was only 4-0 with a Double Powerplay end to come, which meant that The Breakaways had a realistic chance of at least tying the set with a hold of 2, and maybe even pulling a Steven Bradbury and winning it with 3 shots turned into 6.

The miracle set win was never a realistic chance, as it was looking like the Chappells were going to complete a perfect game, with Ron’s final shot of the night adding to JT’s original holder, which would’ve left the final score somewhere around 19-0:

But, after 10 ends of near misses, Lindsay, who had seemingly gone for more drives than Peter Brock, clipped Thea’s bowl to the right of the centre line on his penultimate attempt, but with the last shot of the night, he finally got something to fall the way of The Breakaways, hitting up the aforementioned bowl to hold for 1 (Turned into 2 with the P/P), adding some respectability to the 2nd Set scoreline:

The end went to The Breakways, but the set and game belonged to the Trevor Chappells 11-0 4-2, in a game that was much closer than the scoreline suggested…

Seriously, how many times do you get 7 consecutive ends decided by a shot, and one team manages to hold 6 of them.

On behalf of the Two Ronnies, it’s good night from me…. and it’s good night from him.

Categories: Lawn Bowls

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