AFL

Tuesday Tithbits: 30th March

On this the last Tuesday of March, here’s my random fact of the day:

The 29th & 30th of March marks 120 years since the inaugural Australian Federal Election of 1901, where the caretaker Protectionist government of Edmund Barton, who had only been appointed as the inaugural PM at Federation because of the Hopetoun Blunder the previous December, came in first on votes and seats 31-28 over the Free Trade party, and ultimately formed a minority government with the help of the state-based Labour (Soon to be Labor) parties, given the Federal ALP wasn’t formed until May 8 of 1901, which was the first official sitting of federal Parliament.

Of course, thanks to Labor’s support, the Immigration Restriction Act 1901 (Drafted by none other than Alfred Deakin) was passed by Barton’s government, which included the infamous 50-word diction test in any language designated by an immigration officer, with the clear racist intent of keeping unwanted immigrants out of Australia, and that’s how we ended up with White Australia.


Another major anniversary today – It’s been exactly one year since the IOC postponed the 2020 Tokyo Olympics

No idea why I brought that up, but I did.


Given the Brisbane Lions are being forced into a Victorian hub, I think the AFL should help them bring along a slice of home…

By transporting a 3x3m square piece of The Gabba grass down from Brisbane to Melbourne in a truck, and inserting it on the boundary line of the MCG.

Remember when that happened?

How random was that.

Conversely, I think the league should also rev up the Lions’ long-suffering Victorian fanbase and rename them the Fitzroy Lions for the duration of their stay, on this the 25th anniversary of the Roys having their organs harvested and transplanted into the Brisbane Bears.

You know it makes sense, I’m not Sam Kekovich


So let me try and get this straight about the second COVID Cluster in Brisbane

From what I’ve gathered from the ABC article with Dr Jeannette Young, one of the cases is a Gold Coast tradie who was working a side hustle as a “male entertainer” at the memorable Byron Bay Hen’s night, and of course, the Coronavirus is very much welcome in Byron Bay with all the anti-vaxxers that live there.

Now, at some point in time, that erotic tradie also went to an Aged Care Facility at Mermaid Beach, where it was stated that he was working as a contractor.

They may claim he’s a contractor, but I think it’s abundantly clear what’s happened.

There’s an old folks home on the Gold Coast that’s been getting a bit frisky.


A shame to see the AFLW Finals get shoved to the back seat this weekend

Because I’d like to bring up this stat about the 2021 AFLW season, to highlight the natural improvement in the Women’s Game.

In the first 4 seasons of the AFLW, there were only 6 scores above 70 points.

This season, thanks to St Kilda racking up 76 points in the final game of the season against West Coast, there were 6 scores of 70+ points in 2021 alone, the high point being Carlton setting a new record for the highest score in AFLW history (13.9-87) against the Suns in Round 8.

Also, after 5 different teams led a round during the season, the Adelaide Crows took top spot for the first time all season on the final day of the home & away season to win the minor premiership.

The last time a team won the minor premiership in the AFL after taking top spot for the first time in the final round was 2005.

The club that pulled it off?

THE ADELAIDE CROWS.


Manning Jack Attack Finals night is tomorrow night

And I have the betting markets from PRICEBET for the 3 major finals:

Grand Final: Lawn Clippings (1st) $1.20 vs Great Bowls Of Fire (4th) $4.20 on TV Rinkside – This has some Geelong vs Port Adelaide 2007 Grand Final vibes to it, and I think the Back To Back titles will be a reality for the Grasscutters

3rd Place Playoff: Trevor Chappells (3rd) $1.85 vs CD’s (4th) $1.95 on Synthetic 2 – Could be the game of the night, don’t you worry about that, because I can barely split the teams on paper, which makes me think this is going to a tiebreak.

5th Place Playoff: Young Guns (5th) $1.65 vs Empire Strikes Jack (6th) $2.40 on Synthetic 3 – I spoke to Josh DiMargs and young Hoskin on Sunday afternoon, and they were still spitting chips about the Young Guns missing the Top 4, and if those whippersnappers have still got the rage boiling on Wednesday night, they’ll win in a tiebreak.

CHECK FOR THE RESULTS ON THURSDAY EVENING.


Looking at my Round 3 NRL Random Tipping performance, seeing as I’ll probably suffer a serious injury if I post a thread

Wouldn’t you know it, for the third round in a row, I SCORED 5/8!

Panthers vs Storm – Viliame Kikau saved my backside with the play of the year at the deatj.

St George vs Manly – I said I wasn’t going to tip Manly until Tommy Turbo came back, and I stand by that.

Souths vs Easts – On Thursday I said I was going to pick Easts and watch as the Rabbits ran wild…. Look what happened, the Bunnies went so wild that they pretty much ended the Chooks season through serious injuries in the process.

Canberra vs New Zealand – On one hand, the Raiders ran out of interchange players and pulled a Canberra Faders, and on the other hand, it is hilarious watching the petulant man child have another dummy spit about the refereeing.

Brisbane vs Canterbury – Bloody hell, the Broncos finally win a game under Kevvie, and the universe promptly sends the Sunshine State into disarray.

Parramatta vs Cronulla – Turns out National Geographic documentaries are a good form guide:

Newcastle vs Wests Tigers – Wouldn’t you know it, this was the first time all season that a 2020 Bottom 8 team defeated a 2020 Top 8 team, so it’s no wonder I tipped the Knights.

North Queensland vs Gold Coast – Stevie Wonder saw that blowout coming, and the Titans are on the rampage.


Apply for the Melbourne Renegades WBBL and/or Big Bash head coaching role on Seek today!

Yep, this is genuine – If you understand what the hell a Bash Boost, a Power Surge and an X-Factor are, submit your resume today, because apparently the only prerequisite is that you aren’t named Michael Klinger.

“My coaching strategy is to score runs, take wickets and catches.”

If you ask me again, it goes to show how many unexciting coaching opportunities are opening up for the average Australian sporting fan through online job searches, and in light of the weekend’s Super Rugby events, I wouldn’t be surprised to see the NSWRU open up the Waratahs to the merciless Seek market now that they’ve thrown Rob Penney under the bus.

Hahaha, actually, why would I say that – The NSWRU live in their own little fantasy land where they answer to nobody.



To conclude this week, here’s a glorious Falcon that leads to a try to the opposition

From The NRL Roast

And the majesty that is We Are Essington, the weekly highlight video produced by a slightly frustrated Bombers supporter with references to everything under the sun

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