NRL

JT’s Random NRL Picks: Round 7, 2021

The Judiciary According To South Sydney’s dossier

So the headlines running up to ANZAC Day have revolved around the events at Tuesday night’s Judiciary Souths think it’s unfair that Mitchell gets rubbed out for a month for throwing a forearm into David Nofoaluma’s face while he’s defenseless, after citing a dangerous contact charge by former Roosters skipper Jake Friend last season, while their mates from the Eastern Suburbs lawyered up and somehow got Victor Radley downgraded by ironically using the example of Mitchell’s botched tackle.

Is it just me, or is the citing of examples at the judiciary like that scene from The Last Crusade where Indiana Jones has to drink from the one true Holy Grail under threat of instant death.

You cite an incorrect example of a past incident = Goodnight, upheld, and you wither away before our eyes.

In this case, Souths chose POORLY.


Total so far: 32/48

Picks are UNDERLINED


Penrith Panthers (1st) vs Newcastle Knights (10th) at Panthers Stadium, Thursday 7:50pm AEST

Until someone goes up to the Panthers and lands a good old sucker punch to stop them celebrating in everyone’s faces, then they’ll just keep on winning every game that matters, except the Grand Final.

Anyway, this game will probably look like that scene from Team America with Kim Jong Il’s man-eating Panthers:


Gold Coast Titans (7th) vs South Sydney Rabbitohs (2nd) at Cbus Super Stadium, Friday 6pm AEST

With the Titans back to irrelevance after what the Silvertails did to them in Mudgee, we’ve instead been subjected to a fair bit of moaning over spilled milk from a few key figures in myrtle and green about the severity of Latrell Mitchell’s punishment, so here’s my uneducated piece of advice for those little Wabbits down at Wedfern.

If you’re so upset about all your star players getting rubbed out…. Maybe tell them not to hit opposition players in the head region and running the risk of the Judiciary giving them a phone call.

It helps, that’s all I’m saying.

Anyway, apparently I’d better pick the Bunnies, who haven’t lost at Robina since 2009, but the Titans are proving harder to pick than a broken nose, so who knows what they’ll produce here.


Parramatta Eels (3rd) vs Brisbane Broncos (14th) at TIO Stadium, Friday 7:55pm AEST

As the Broncos go to the Top End for the first time in their history, fresh off a spirited performance against the runaway Panthers, the Eels find out that one of their own players has become the latest Ron Jeremy of the rugbaleeg world, the Blue & Golds are flying up to Darwin, appropriately wearing a jersey honouring the 100th Anniversary of the Royal Australian Air Force, and it should be noted that this is the first time they’ve been up to the Top End since an incident that I may have alluded to at least a dozen times in the last 2 years….

Brad Arthur destroying his bladder due to the humidity:

By contrast, Ricky Stuart consumed at least 6 double shots of Fireball whiskey with the Raiders blowing a 16-0 lead

Some say Brad is still sitting on that porcelain throne in the Marrara changerooms, waiting until he empties the last of his juices.


Cronulla Sharks (11th) vs Canterbury Bulldogs (16th) at Kogarah Oval, Saturday 5:30pm AEST

You know the drill by now, even though I’ve never mentioned it:

Pictured: Trent Barrett trying to hold off Cronulla’s attack

The Sharks would bloody well want to win this, because take a look at their next 6 games:

Melbourne, Penrith, Souths, St. George, Gold Coast and the Panthers again.

They’re going to get live baited in at least 5 of them.


North Queensland Cowboys (13th) vs Canberra Raiders (9th) at Queensland Country Bank Stadium, Saturday 7:35pm AEST

A captivating match-up on ANZAC Eve, as we have two highly unintimidating groups going against each other:

The crippled pretenders from the frozen south:

And the shirtless Cowboy men from the outpost:

Two weeks ago, the Cowboys were playing like absolute crap and the Raiders were flying.

Now, the Raiders are playing like absolute crap, and the Cowboys are not so crap anymore after back-to-back wins against the two heavyweights bringing up the foot of the table, including a win against the Cowboys to win the Who Cares Cup.

Still, I mildly believe The Canberra Milk Kids will win, based on the 987 different ways Sticky has flogged them during the week in response to being smashed by the Eels.


Wests Tigers (15th) vs Manly Sea Eagles (12th) at Bankwest Stadium, Sunday 1:45pm AEST

The race is now on for the Sea Eagles to rack up as many wins as they can before their prized glass cannon in Tom Trbojevic suffers a major injury and misses half the season, because we all know it’s sadly going to happen… we just don’t know when.

Still, the dejected Tigers is a great place to make it 3 in a row, after the devastating way they lost against Souths, in which the Bunker performed a Thuggee ceremony to remove Madge’s heart before awarding George Burgess the winning try, right as Luke Brooks had run 100m to score his own phantom try:

Now, cast your mind back to the summer and that foot race along the Manly concourse that sidelined Tommy in the first place.

Juts to build up the revenge factor for Des Hasler’s team, which particular team did that fella support?

THE TIGERS.


Sydney Roosters (5th) vs St George-Illawarra Dragons (6th) at the SCG, Sunday 4:05pm AEST

The Bondi Bluesters Jerseys from the 1940s are back for ANZAC Day, the Dragons have ripped out a Corporal ranking ‘Double V’ jersey, but to be honest, who the hell knows which particular version of either team will show up.

The Chooks are good at crushing the lightweights but have been beaten up by the contenders, as demonstrated again by the Storm last Friday, which doesn’t seem that surprising without a player of Luke Keary’s quality in the halves, and the fact that Sam Walker is still legally a prepubescent…

While the Dragons had it all set up on a platter to win their fifth game in a row on Sunday, fresh of bombing a Parramatta team that went on to win by 20+ points on the road a week later, at Kogarah, against the grey nomads from Aotearoa….

And they got sat on their arse by a team who registered only 1 incomplete set out of 41.

It’ll be another very competitive ANZAC Day fixture, and the Roosters have tended to dominate the Red V under Trent Robinson, having a 12-3 record against the Dragons since 2013, and speaking of Robbo, he’s only 1 win short of 150 wins as a coach.


Melbourne Storm (4th) vs New Zealand Warriors (8th) at AAMI Park, Sunday 6:15pm AEST

And now here’s a scene from Spongebob, depicting what will happen to the Warriors on Sunday evening.

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