JT’s Random NRL Picks: Round 9, 2021

Brian To’o, trying to give himself the resting heart rate of a serial killer by drinking a Rockstar

I can’t believe it’s Round 9 of the National Rugbaleeg season, there’s only a couple of weeks to go until Origin season kicks off, and I can’t believe I still haven’t scored fewer than 5 in a round this season.

Looking at this weekend, that’ll probably change.

Total Score= 44/64

Picks are underlined

South Sydney Rabbitohs (3rd) vs Melbourne Storm (5th) at Stadium Australia, Thursday 7:50pm AEST

I don’t think the Storm are planning on wetting the sponge before they electrocute the Rabbits, because this is the most lopsided rivalry in the NRL….. the Storm lead 29-5 after 34 meetings.

Penrith Panthers (1st) vs Cronulla Sharks (13th) at Panthers Stadium, 6pm AEST

An inside look at the goings on at Shark Park when they found out they didn’t have the cattle to match the Panthers:

Unless the Sharks run out with frikkin’ laser beams attached to their heads, they may as well not turn up.

Parramatta Eels (2nd) vs Sydney Roosters (4th) at Bankwest Stadium, Friday 7:55pm AEST

The only Rooster to suffer a more serious injury than Brett Morris was Foghorn Leghorn when he met Colonel Sanders in the early 1960s:

Canberra Raiders (9th) vs Newcastle Knights (11th) at McDonalds Park Wagga Wagga

It’ll be a big couple of days in Wagga Wagga, the town so nice they named it twice.

The Wagga Town Plate is on today, the Wagga Wagga Gold Cup is on tomorrow, and on Saturday, they’ll be entertained by two mediocre NRL teams, featuring a player named Bradman taking on a bunch of Poms, and you don’t need to guess who’ll do the damage in that duel.

In fact, being the Raiders vs Knights, this game might as well be a historical reenactment of the Dark Ages.

Wests Tigers (14th) vs Gold Coast Titans (8th) at Campbelltown, Saturday 5:30pm AEST

I can just picture the celebrations in the Titans rooms after they run in another 5 tries and still almost to this schizophrenic band of Tigers, because Justin Holbrook’s team still has no idea how to defend or hold momentum:

Speaking of which, have they ever done any research into Tigers displaying signs of schizophrenia?

Because the 2021 Wests Tigers would be perfect candidates.

North Queensland Cowboys (12th) vs Brisbane Broncos (15th) at Queensland Country Bank Stadium, 7:35pm AEST

Ahead of what should be another highly entertaining edition of the Queensland Derby, ladies and gentlemen…


Manly Sea Eagles (10th) vs New Zealand Warriors (7th) at Brookvale Oval, Sunday 2pm AEST

Back in the cushy confines of Brookvale, which isn’t so cushy given it’s getting redeveloped right now, Tommy Turbo’s hamstrings still haven’t exploded yet, THE 10 YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THE 2011 PREMIERSHIP, so I’d expect the Silvertails to…


St George-Illawarra Dragons (6th) vs Canterbury Bulldogs (16th) at Kogarah, Sunday 4pm AEST

If the thought of watching the horrendously out of form Dragons against the downward Dogs doesn’t put you to sleep, then Peter Paul & Mary belting out Puff The Magic Dragon definitely will.

It’s a good song, but it’s not Leaving On A Jet Plane

Contrary to popular belief, Puff The Magic Dragon was not written for Reg Gasnier.

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