AFL

Tuesday Tithbits: 17th August


WA’s Current Tourism Slogan for the Eastern States

And I imagine they’ll be doing the same thing to us when WA keeps locking down even after hitting the 80% fully vaccinated number, which at our Australian-worst pace should be in about 2042.


A happy 25th birthday to my cousin Aidan up in Queensland for tomorrow

Here’s a photo of the Lord Chris Fagan to help celebrate the big day:

It was also my cousin Sophie’s 25th birthday on Sunday, but I’ve completely missed the boat on that one, so I’ll just say well done on your 25th anniversary.


An update on the unveiling of the Victorian State of Origin All Stars, which will be ready to go next Wednesday Kate O’Toole, if that hopefully answers the question that you’ve asked me at least 7 times

I’ve been in mythical consultations with Victorian head coach Lindsay Gaze about how the Big V are looking before they make their debut ON WEDNESDAY, and he’s told me this is by far the hardest team he’s ever had to pick, and that comes from a basketball legend that coached Australia at 4 Olympic basketball tournaments, although ‘Linz’ believes he has settled on his midfield, which I can reveal to the public:

What a superb midfield – 11 legs between the six of them, 2 Olympic Gold Medalists in Athletics on the wings, the second-best Hemsworth brother alongside Dame Edna and the guy that hosted Bert’s Family Feud, all getting silver service from the guy that carried the Australian flag in the Opening Ceremony for the Sydney Olympics.

Once again Kate, it will be ready next Wednesday, so for both our sakes, you can rest easy knowing you don’t have to ask me anymore….

Please.


Please live with the knowledge that the Prime Minister decided to go to the Poles before he even thought about going to the Polls


The first Group 1 of the new racing season coming up this weekend – The Winx Stakes at Randwick

Of course it was the old Group 2 Warwick Stakes at Warwick Farm for many years, before Winx came along and won it a few years in a row, so here’s an old edition of the Warwick Stakes from 1987, when the infamous maiden Pablo’s Pulse led most of the way and won the race at 500-1, which I believe still stands as the record for the longest-priced winner of an Australian Group race in modern history:

On another note, I’m pretty sure Lunar Fox in this year’s Australian Guineas, where as much as $401 was on offer, is the current record for the longest-priced winner of an Australian Group 1 race, and it’ll take a serious upset to even come close to sniffing that.


So allegedly there’s a few NRL clubs who aren’t happy about the optics of the Melbourne Storm employing ex-referees boss Bernard Sutton as a consultant, given Queensland were barred from using Sutton as a consultant during State of Origin

I didn’t see them complaining when the Storm had a referee in their team for 18 years:

And I should add, Wests are currently employing the one and only Gavin Badger as a consultant, and look how that’s turning out for them….

They can’t even finish 9th!


Ahead of Alastair Clarkson’s last game in charge of Hawthorn (Thanks for that Jeff you wanker), do I have any favourite Hawks moments from Clarko’s 17 year tenure?

Well, I’ve got about four actually….



With Eddie Betts retiring after his 350th game, he’ll become the second player in VFL/AFL history to retire on exactly 350 games

The only one to date?

Doug Hawkins, who actually did it at Fitzroy in Round 21 of 1995 after he wasn’t offered a contract with his beloved Footscray following the 1994 season.

Unfortunately for Doug, that was also a time when Fitzroy was slowly collapsing like a flan in a cupboard just before the merger with Brisbane, so they lost that game to St Kilda at the Western Oval, which was also Doug’s milestone 200th defeat as a player, making him one of only three players to play in 200 defeats, alongside Kevin Murray (208) and Kade Simpson (215).

Based on the way Carlton successfully sent off Marc Murphy in his 300th game on Saturday by giving up 19 consecutive goals to Port Adelaide, I think Eddie will get the same bitter end.


A Cale Hooker retirement story – Chook’s big brain move of locking himself in his house so he wouldn’t get traded to West Coast at the end of 2012

It seems hilarious that a born & bred Western Australian wouldn’t want to go home, but this is a genuine story as told by his then-coach James Hird on the Crawf & Hirdy podcast back in 2018:

If you can’t listen to it, this is Hirdy’s version of events:

“I was away, Adrian Dodoro and Mark Thompson went around to his (Cale’s) house and he basically locked the door and wouldn’t answer the door, he said ‘I’m not going, I’m staying,’ they were knocking on the door, banging on the door, trying to get in.”

“Talking to him (Cale) after he said, ‘I knew if they got in, then I’d probably get traded, so I just didn’t let them get in, the trade deadline moved and I stayed at the Bombers’.”

It turned out to be a decent move on Cale’s part, even if he lost a year of his career due to the drugs saga, because he was named to the All-Australian team as a backman in 2014, won Essendon’s Best & Fairest in 2015, played 200+ games for the Dons, and evolved into being one of the best key position utilities in the game.


Moses Mbye leaves the Wests Tigers for St George-Illawarra

I’ve been reliably told that Michael Maguire arranged a musical tribute for the former captain before he left the Tigers bubble with immediate effect, and it involved a few of the Bay City Rollers being brought back from the dead:

Mbye Mbye baby, baby goodbye, Mbye baby, baby Mbye Mbye, Mbye Mbye baby, don’t make me cry, Mbye baby, baby Mbye Mbye!


It’s good to know the WA Government now considers us 16-29 year old youths important enough to suffer unknown side effects receive the Pfizer vaccine from state run clinics

If the eggheads are to be believed, when they opened up the vaccine availability on Sunday, well over 47,000 people booked themselves in and almost crashed the website.

Technically I wasn’t one of them, because I made my booking at 12:05am on Monday Morning.


Dorna have got no sense of decency in MotoGP broadcasts

I watched the Austrian Grand Prix on Sunday, and as the immoral Christian that I am, I was shocked when they showed a slow motion replay of an Italian mounted aboard a naked beauty:

Enea Bastianini’s fairing came loose, which is why his Ducati is naked

On a more factual note, if you want to know a few things, the bike is a 2019 Ducati Desmosedici GP19, the 90 degree rod in the middle is the gear shifter, and the small device on the bottom, just in front of the rear wheel, is the fabled rear ride height device (Which makes the bike squat in corners) that Ducati pioneered on the GP19, and the other manufacturers have now all joined in the party.


After seeing Toutai Kefu fighting for life after being attacked in an armed break-in, here’s something to brighten our spirits

It’s just shy of two weeks until the 20th anniversary of Kefu scoring the last minute try against the All Blacks to win the 2001 Tri Nations title, in what was captain John Eales’ last match for the Wallabies

The end of the golden age of Australian rugby.


Give or take a second, the YouTube version of West Coast’s Welcome Back video for Willie Rioli, as he prepares to play his first game since his 2-year drug ban expired, is 4:20 long

BLAZE IT!

Ah, it’s good to see footy clubs being funny without even realising it….

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