Like Cameron Murray, my Picks were headed south this week:

As mentioned in the report, I had this unavoidable feeling that when I picked 8 favourites that there’d be upsets, and I was right, because there were 4 of them, including 3 on Saturday.

I just knew that Warriors vs Raiders game was a poisoned chalice.

Brisbane Broncos 16 defeated Cronulla Sharks 7 = Incorrect

That’s the last time I use Feargal Sharkey:

This week on Tweets Tweeted Before Disaster:

Yes, the Sharks were the real deal.

Then the 2nd Half happened, the Broncos’ defence whipped out the baseball bats, and the Sharks crapped their pants like an aspiring politician in the Engadine McDonald’s in 1997.

Fair dinkum, who claims Kevin Walters is in the hot seat this season

Penrith Panthers 18 defeated Gold Coast Titans 4 = Correct

The Panthers comfortably win another game they should be winning, and you know why?

Because Nathan Cleary makes sure he gets good karma from the universe by doing good bloke acts like this, climbing into the stands to give his jersey to a young kid in a wheelchair.

On the other hand, look at that typical arrogant Panthers player, climbing over seats to harass a wheelchair-bound young fella.

South Sydney Rabbitohs 40 defeated Manly Sea Eagles 22 = Correct

A wild old night in Gosford, as ‘Combat Karl’ Lawton achieved the distinction of being the second player to get sent off this season (Following Mitch Barnett in Round 3) after burying Cameron Murray head first into the Central Coast turf, which, despite the arguments of Brad Fittler and Gus Gould, was pretty much the video definition of a sending off offence.

It does beg the question why the game of rugbaleeg don’t introduce the 20 minute send off like they’ve introduced into rugby union for ‘dodgy acts that aren’t quite attempted murder’, but that’s a completely different topic.

So once Lawton was marched to the showers, Manly were pretty much doomed having to play with 12 for the best part of 70 minutes against last year’s Grand Finalists, and all told Des Hasler’s team played pretty well to get 22 points on the board, which is 22 points more than anyone expected them to after the 9th minute, and they somehow led 16-12 at the half, but with that gaping hole in the defensive line, Souths ran in 5 tries in the 2nd Half and comfortably got the 2 points.

New Zealand Warriors 21 defeated Canberra Raiders 20 = Incorrect

There are thousands of derogatory nicknames for teams in sports, but the most appropriate derogatory name for any team in the history of organised sporting events is the CANBERRA FADERS.

Canterbury Bulldogs 16 defeated Sydney Roosters 12 = Incorrect

The Bulldogs had a rocket fired up their arses by Gus Gould, and his apparent meddling in Trent Barrett’s training sessions proved the treat in a crapshoot of a game at the Olympic Stadium, and the part I loved the most was that the last non-try with 3 minutes to go was a perfect display of refereeing:

A late shot on Luke Keary that wasn’t called.

Angus Crichton getting away with a shepherd on Matt Burton.

Joey Manu with a flick pass that was more forward than Julia Gillard’s 2010 election campaign slogan.

And finally:

Matt Burton getting away with a high shot on Joe Suaali while he seemingly scored the game-tying try…

Only for the Bunker to give it No Try because of a foot on a sideline.

The Bunker, proving that 800 wrongs make a right.

North Queensland Cowboys 35 defeated Parramatta Eels 6 = Incorrect

In hindsight, I have no idea why I jumped off the Cowboys after they comfortably belted the Titans last week, because they were pretty much at home in the humidity of the Top End, and obviously we can crap on the Eels for being frauds once again, plus Brad Arthur’s questionable nepotism putting his son the most important position on the field when he’s wholly unsuited to be there, but we should also give a mention to the true story of this game….

Chad Townsend’s vlog for his 200th game was superb!

Well done Chad, a superbly edited video… and your milestone game was pretty good too.

And thus, we reach the month of May, and there’s one team in the Top 4 that nobody expected to be there after Round 1….

As you’ve probably guessed, I’m talking about the Sharks.

Melbourne Storm 50 defeated Newcastle Knights 2 = Correct

After his work in the recent contract negotiations, I get a tingling sensation in my liver that Andre Ponga is lining up a move to replace Adam O’Brien after Newcastle’s two recent shithouse displays, but let’s put the last 7 days into perspective:

This has effectively been the Melbourne Storm’s backline in the past 2 games on ANZAC Day and Sunday:

2 Bulldogs castaways (Nick Meaney & Reimis Smith) who could barely get a contract offer from 14 other clubs.

Xavier Coates, a former Bronco who runs like he’s busting to go to the toilet, has now scored 7 tries in 2 games.

Justin Olam, an obscure player who came to Melbourne from Papua New Guinea and didn’t debut in First Grade until he was 25.

And Ryan Papenhuyzen, a fullback who was wasting away in reserve grade at the Wests Tigers and was ultimately released so they could re-sign James Tedesco… who wound up leaving them for the Roosters.

And in the space of 6 days, that motley crew put up 54 points in a half, followed by another 50 points, on two semi-professional rugby league teams.

That right there is the power of this man, and his coaching staff:

St George-Illawarra Dragons 12 defeated Wests Tigers 6 = Correct

Is there anybody in the Illawarra region who can please deliver Ben Hunt an urgent back rub….

Because his spinal column might crumble violently under the sheer strain of carrying this Dragons team week in and week out.

What a player, he’s basically given the Dragons a puncher’s chance at even thinking about a Top 8 finish this season when they should be a Wooden Spoon candidate, and we can’t forget last year he pretty much single-handedly saved Queensland from being swept in State of Origin when they scored 2 tries, after the Maroons scored 1 try through the first 160 minutes of the series.

Give him a massage Hook, he bloody well needs one.