So it’s the first Tuesday of May, and we begin the month with the crushing news that an Australian entertainment icon has been reduced to rubble…

The Kath & Kim house, aka ‘Chateau Kath’ in Patterson Lakes, Melbourne, is being knocked down this week to be rebuilt as a modern monstrosity:

It’s not nice, but is different and unusual.

Actually, would you like to know a hilarious fact about this story?

The house is going to get knocked down just shy of 20 years since Kath & Kim premiered on the ABC – May 16, 2002.

Another Australian entertainment icon has also met it’s end

After 14 years and countless 50ths, 60ths, 21sts, birthdays, Christmas nights, Grand Final nights, New Years Eves, and various homebrew sessions, the fabled Back Gate Between 43 No Hope Avenue and 41 No Hope Avenue, one of the last known back gates between neighbours in Australia, has come down for refurbishment:

Much to the disappointment of my dog, who loves dropping into the Walkers’ backyard for a crap and a play, in a greater comeback than John Farnham in 1980, it’ll be back up by Thursday.

They were also befuddled and perplexed

Obviously Wednesday is Star Wars Day (May The Fourth), but Thursday is even bigger…

It’s May The Fifth Element, a day in which SBS Viceland airs Jean Luc-Besson’s cult classic The Fifth Element on repeat for an entire day (I am not making that up), and this year’s the biggest May The Fifth Element yet, because it’s 25 years since The Fifth Element was released at the Cannes Film Festival – May 7, 1997 to be exact.

One of the great cult classic sci-fi films, probably because of how eccentric the whole thing is – Bruce Willis in a blonde wig as a 26th century Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich as Mrs Leeloo Dallas Multipass, Chris Tucker as himself, Sir Ian Holm before he became Bilbo Baggins, and Gary Oldman as an evil Industrialist in a Southern accent, a performance he later described as “Singing for his supper” as a favour for Besson.

I think it was also around this time last year I noticed a coincidence the opening sequence of The Fifth Element and an ANZAC Day protest marcher when Perth was in lockdown.

Here was the bloke named Michael Darby, who marched on behalf of the veterans who weren’t allowed to march…

And here is the priest from the start of the Fifth Element:

The Melbourne Football Club renaming themselves the Narrm Football Club for Sir Doug Nicholls Round(s)

I’m a fan of this gesture, because on the one hand, you’re raising awareness of the Wurundjeri people, the Woiwurrung language group, and the long term goal is that hopefully it’ll start a process that down the road will lead to further education and teaching about First Nations peoples.

And, if Melbourne make it to Indigenous Round still unbeaten and they lose while they’re called the Narrm Football Club, they can claim that it wasn’t Melbourne who lost, it was Narrm. so technically the Demons still won’t have lost a game since Round 19 last year.

And, when we get to Multicultural Round, they can then get a bit cheeky and recognise Australia’s Indian community by renaming themselves the Narn Football Club.

It’s 18 years since rugby league scribe Peter ‘Chippy’ Frilingos died

And for absolutely no reason, instead of digging up a few highlights from Chippy’s time with the Continuous Call team alongside Ray Hadley and Bob Fulton, here’s a classic discussion from a 2001 episode of Back Page on Fox Sports, featuring the original crew of Chippy, Mike Gibson, Billy Birmingham and Peter FitzSimons, as they discuss the fight between Laila Ali and Jacqui Frazier on the anniversary of the Thrilla in Manila between their fathers, which turned into a chat about women’s boxing:

Suzuki, currently leading the MotoGP Teams’ Championship, are supposedly leaving MotoGP at the end of 2022

Despite boasting an Inline Four bike with the torque of a V4 that is arguably the most well-rounded bike in MotoGP, and winning the World Championship in 2020, Suzuki have left MotoGP for the second time in 11 years, and both times they’ve blamed the economy for leaving the series, and if the news is true, the board in Hamamatsu made the decision overnight, gave absolutely no indication to the race team (Nor Alex Rins and Joan Mir) of their decision, and eventually broke the news to them while they were testing the bike in Jerez yesterday.

And, we can’t forget that in 2021, Suzuki extended their deal with Dorna to race in MotoGP until 2026, so they’re contractually on the hook with the Spaniards and won’t be able to get out of it without some form of cash exchanging hands in a Swiss bank.

When you think about it, Suzuki are to MotoGP what Honda is to Formula 1…. absolutely no staying power.

It makes you wonder what on earth Dorna could pull off to make sure we don’t lose 2 bikes from the Premier Class grid – Do they attempt to get another Ducati team and make it the DucatiGP, would a manufacturer like Aprilia step up and start a satellite team, and that way you’d have 5 manufacturers with at least 4 bikes each….

Or, would the other major Japanese motorcycle manufacturer Kawasaki, after their dominant run in World Superbikes with Jonathan Rea, dare to even contemplate the thought of returning to MotoGP after their withdrawal at the end of 2009?

Actually, probably not, they can actually win for fun in Superbikes, not in MotoGP

At the same time, Audi and Porsche get the green light from Volkswagen Group to enter Formula 1 as engine suppliers in 2026

And we can say it’s pretty much real because it’s Reuters that posted the article, not motorsport.com:

BERLIN, May 2 (Reuters) – Volkswagen’s (VOWG_p.DE) premium brands Audi and Porsche will join Formula One after convincing the German automaking group that the move will bring in more money than it will cost, VW Chief Executive Herbert Diess said on Monday.

Discussions by the board of directors about the two brands’ plans had created some divisions, said Diess at an event in Wolfsburg, where the German carmaker is headquartered.

But ultimately the brands, which next to VW’s China business are the group’s most important income suppliers, made the case that they would pull in more money for Wolfsburg with a Formula One commitment than without one, according to Diess.

“You just run out of arguments,” he said.

So if the mail is around the mark, Audi would effectively offer half a billion Euros to buy out McLaren (Either the the McLaren Group itself or McLaren Racing) and effective race as Audi-McLaren, which would be more cost effective for VW over Audi building an F1 team from scratch, simply because McLaren has the facilities right there in Woking…

And Porsche would be an engine supplier to Red Bull via Red Bull Power Trains, in a similar set-up to RB’s former partnership with Honda, which would mark Porsche’s first stint in F1 since 1991, when they had a disastrous time as engine supplier to Footwork Arrows and were dumped in favour of Cosworth DFRs, a humiliating ending after their success with McLaren from 1984-87.

It’s also worth noting Stefano Domenicali, who is the current CEO of F1, was the CEO of Lamborgini (Also owned by Volkswagen) before he took up the F1 job, so they’d get his support without even asking, which means we have the prospect of motoring heavy hitters Mercedes-Benz, Aston Martin, VW Group, Renault, and Ferrari racing in the pinnacle of world motorsport….

I wonder if Ford will ever dare make a return to F1 after the failure with Jaguar.

The ‘harbour’ for the Miami Grand Prix is absolutely perfect for Florida

It looks alright until you see it up close.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

In his last season at Brisbane, Xavier Coates scored 11 tries in 17 games

In the last 6 days, Coates has scored 7 tries, bringing him up to 10 tries in 7 games.

Another wild stat – In 32 games with the Broncos, Staggs only played in 7 wins.

He’s already reached that winning tally in 7 games with the Storm.

Melbourne United suffer an ironic fate

With home court advantage already locked up for the playoffs, Melbourne United effectively tanked their last game of the NBL’s regular season against the Jack Jumpers, losing the game 83-61, ensuring United didn’t have to play the Perth Wildcats in the playoffs as the Taswegians leapt over the Wildcats into 4th spot, and the Wildcats ultimately sealed their own fate on their home court a few days later.

However, in a classic case of what goes around comes around, the Jack Jumpers, now full of confidence. went on to sweep Melbourne 2-0 and will play the Sydney Kings in the NBL Grand Final series.

What an absolute mastermind Larry Kestelman is – He fires up a sports team in Tasmania while the AFL keep dragging their arse on the Tassie taskforce, and it’s paid off in spades for everyone…

Except Melbourne United.

And finally, in terrifying news for British motorsport, the Dutch have already found Max Verstappen’s successor

From The Guardian:

“A “highly enterprising” four-year-old boy was reunited with his parents unscathed after grabbing his mother’s keys and taking her car for an early-morning drive through the streets of Utrecht in the Netherlands, police have said.”

“The boy, in pyjamas and bare feet, was spotted wandering on a street in the city’s Overvecht district early on Saturday morning by bystanders who called emergency services, the North Utrecht police force said on its Instagram account.”

“After receiving a medical check-up and a cuddly bear from an ambulance crew, the toddler – with no immediate sign of any parents in the vicinity – was taken to the nearest police station and given a mug of hot chocolate, the post said.”

And appropriately, that Instagram post in English is translated to “New Max Verstappen discovered in Overvecht”