The best part about this post is I’m actually reading it in Michael Ennis’ voice

Although it does lack mentions of ‘Avonne Sampsun’.

So that’s another deadly edition of Indigenous Round done, and without wasting a second, State of Origin has immediately stolen the limelight as Brad Fittler and Billy Slater drop their squads for Game I next week, and after weeks of wild swinging between 4s and 7s, I’ve regressed back to the beloved mean of tipping….

5 OUT OF 8.

Melbourne Storm 28 defeated Manly Sea Eagles 8 = Correct

Melbourne are Melbourne, while Manly will struggle to make the 8 this year…

The 8 win mark, that is.

Penrith Panthers 22 defeated North Queensland Cowboys 0 = Correct

You know what the amazing part is about that scoreline?

The Cowboys didn’t play that terribly overall – Sure their attack just couldn’t execute without Kyle Feldt, but their defence was pretty solid for 90% of the game in spite of giving away an ungodly number of set restarts and penalties, and at the end of the day, Penrith ‘only’ scored 4 tries in 80 minutes despite playing 70% of the game in the ‘Boys half.

Still, to call a spade a shovel, the Panthers once again proved that they exist on a totally different ozone layer to the rest of the league, because they didn’t play at their absolute best, and yet they’ve still pitched a shutout against the team sitting in 3rd.

Brisbane Broncos 35 defeated Gold Coast Titans 24 = Correct

The Broncos when they go 20 points down:

If you want to have a look at why Selwyn Cobbo got a gig for Queensland after a mere 19 club games, here’s one example.

8 minutes to go in the 1st Half, the Broncos are down 18-0, the Titans have the ball on the Broncos goalline, but Cobbo intercepts a pass, runs it out, and in the next minute, the Titans would have two players sin binned for professional fouls.

Still, a funny note is that the Titans actually scored more points in the time they were 2 players down (6-4), but the Broncos were on the board, and eventually they got the momentum and spectacularly did what they did in the last half hour with that 29-0 run, capped off by Tyson Gamble finishing the game with one of the most brutally disrespectful field goals ever seen.

In fact, we have a video replay of Justin Holbrook’s head when that happened:

Newcastle Knights 24 defeated New Zealand Warriors 16 = Incorrect

“We’ve got more jersies than trophies” – Warriors forward Jazz Tevaga, in an interview with Sky NZ

South Sydney Rabbitohs 44 defeated Wests Tigers 18 = Correct

Congratulations to Sabali Islander Alex Johnston, who celebrated Indigenous Round by racking up yet another hat-trick in his amazing career, moving to 147 tries and surpassing Nathan Merritt to become the Ken Irvine of the South Sydney Rabbitohs.

The quest for 200 tries is well and truly alive… Although AJ does have to get to 148 first.

Sydney Roosters 36 defeated Cronulla Sharks 16 = Incorrect

Least threatening species of Shark:

The Whale Shark.

The Nurse Shark.

The Angel Shark.

The Cronulla Shark.

St George-Illawarra Dragons 34 defeated Canterbury Bulldogs 24 = Correct

The Dragons win a winnable game, which stands as the first win for any Dragons team at Belmore since St George won on their last visit to the Doggies’ home ground in 1996 before the joint venture/merger with Illawarra, and it was a rather eventful game, filled with tries, tries, and totally stupid errors from Canterbury which led to Dragons tries.

I reckon the play that summed up the game was straight after the Bulldogs had stormed back from 16-2 down to take the lead 18-16 in the 48th minute.

On the very next set, not even 2 tackles later, Josh Jackson coughed the ball up attempting an offload, Aaron Woods fell on the ball, and the Dragons scored 5 plays later.

They never trailed again.

So while the Dragons are now only points differential away from the Top 8, Josh Addo-Carr has apparently paid the price for Canterbury’s crap performances, being dropped from the New South Wales squad in favor of Daniel Tupou, despite having one of the best Origin records since his debut in 2018, with 10 tries in 12 games.

In short, he is the Dane Gagai of New South Wales.

But, on the flip side, The Fastest Man on the Planet did get an extra $200,000 a season for willingly leaving the cushy confines of Melbourne to move to Sydney at his partner’s request, which might help cushion the blow of losing his representative status.

Parramatta Eels 28 defeated Canberra Raiders 20 = Incorrect

WHY THE HELL DID COREY HORSBURGH KICK IT ON TACKLE ZERO.

HE MANAGED TO SET THE REDHEAD RACE BACK 20 YEARS WITH THAT BRAIN-DEAD MOVE.

If you’re wondering why I’m so annoyed, aside from the fact I tipped the upset on the Raiders and failed, it was the 66th minute, the Raiders were barely 15 metres out from the Eels’ line on the last tackle when Clint Gutherson knocked on a bomb, after which the referee was calling for 6 more tackles to the Raiders….

But instead, the Steeden fell to Corey ****ing Horsburgh, who didn’t bother paying attention to the referee’s signal, and instead kicked it straight to Waqa Blake.

Completing that stuff-up, 2 plays later, Shaun Lane ran untouched through the Raiders’ defence, and Dylan Brown scored the easiest meat pie he’ll ever score, in a moment that drew stunning parallels to the decisive moment of the 2019 Grand Final, when the Roosters scored the game-winning try in the set directly after the ‘6 More’ non-call.

I suppose in the Raiders’ defence, after the events of 2019, they’re not used to hearing a 6 More decision that was genuinely in their favour.