JT’s Succinct NRL Tips: Round 4, 2023

The Dolphins marching to Lang Park to play the Broncos on Friday night:

Round 3 came and went fairly quickly, and it was a case of ‘deja voo’ as I got close to the margin, then wound up finishing on 4/8 after 4 teams wet the bed.

– Manly won the shootout at Brookvale against Parramatta 34-30 to leave the Eels 0-3, having given up 30+ points in their last 2 defeats as they suffer a severe case of Grand Final hangover

– Redcliffe’s memorable debut month continued as they whacked Newcastle in Newcastle, although Felise Kaufusi whacked some poor bastard a bit too hard and copped 4 weeks for it

– Another typically volatile Easts-Souths match ends with the Rabbits shitting the bed and blowing a 10-0 lead as Jaxson Paulo came back to haunt his old team with 2 tries for Easts in the 2nd Half

– After getting poleaxed by the Dragons last week, the Titans turn around and manage to defeat the Melbourne Storm for the first time in 5 years, causing Craig Bellamy to strangle 6 players with his belt

– The Warriors defeat the Cowboys in Townsville at this time of year, and promptly receive no credit for it because they’re the Warriors, as Andrew ‘Lloyd’ Webster produced another musical masterpiece of a gameplan

– Me for the first 70 minutes: “Hey the Dragons really aren’t that bad this year..” Me between the 70th to 80th minutes as the Broncos score 4 tries: “Ah that’s why nobody rates them”

– The most multicultural team in the most multicultural suburb of Sydney wins in Multicultural Round… despite giving up 3 tries in 4 minutes to ****in’ Wests Tigers.

– Raiders vs Sharks was a great contest, and it got even better after the game with the off-field sledging duel between Royce Hunt and Corey Horsburgh, starting with Royce Hunt stealing Ricky Stuart’s copyright and calling Corey a “Weak-gutted dog”

That alone demonstrates how much of a squatter Corey Horsburgh is… he’s leaving rent-free in Royce’s head.

So while those two fight it out over various mediums, the Roosters get the bye and there’s games of rugbaleeg to get through this weekend, STARTING WITH:

– The dreaded Grand Final rematch between Parramatta and Penrith

– Wests Tigers get a great chance to win their first game of the season against lowly Bottom 5 team the Melbourne Storm

– The inaugural Battle of Brisbane should produce one of the great Suncorp Stadium atmospheres in years between Redcliffe and the Broncos, as we get another edition of WAYNE Bennett vs Brisbane, with both teams’ form going into the game giving Channel 9 television executives the horn at the thought of the potential ratings

– The other all-Queensland affair sees the Cowboys take on the Titans, and I would say the Cowboys look too good at home… but look how that turned out last week.

– In an eerie coincidence, Souths and Manly play in the same week that Gentleman John Sattler departed us, as Souths prepare to don the half-Rabbit tribute jersey that Satts and his broken jaw turned into the stuff of legend in the 1970 Grand Final against the Silvertails.

– The Warriors head back across the ditch to take on a Bulldogs team that looks increasingly competent, and they have to play them without Wayde Egan and Mitch Barnett

– Newcastle picked a strange week to drop Dom Young, especially as they face another tough trip to play at McDonald Jones Stadium, this time against the Raiders, having won just 1 out of their last 12 at the old Hunter Stadium… that only sounds more horrible when you realise the Knights are the home team.

– Once a great rivalry between the teams from Sydney’s south, the Dragons and Sharks have been dumped to the shithouse Sunday 6pm timeslot, which is even worse than playing Friday 6pm because you have to wait all weekend to play…. but hey, at least Dally M winner Nico Hynes is back.

Now, enough rambling, here are my Succinct Tips for Round 3:

Round 3 Score = 4/8, Progress Score = 13/24 (54.17%)

And now, the Round 4 LOCK OF THE WEEK, which was a bit iffy for 70 minutes last week with the scores sitting at 18-18, but the Broncos kicked like a pack of mules and rammed in 4 tries in an awesome attacking display to win 42-18, justifying their lock status.

Sunday night at Kogarah, the news cameras are going to be rolling for a live cross at 8:15pm, covering a scene that would probably resemble something from a famous Peter Benchley novel….


And on that bombshell, here’s Split Enz with another classic track off True Colours, SHARK ATTACK!

You know what another great track off True Colours would be perfect for Cronulla under Craig Fitzgibbon?

Nobody Takes Me Seriously.

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