JT’s Succinct NRL Tips: Round 7, 2023

Oh good, the Killer Dolphins are back

So we’re on to Round 7, and what a dramatic turn of events the Easter weekend provided us in the world of razzle dazzle rugbaleeg, with attendances soaring through the roof:

– Victor the Inflictor Radley managed to inflict more pain on the Roosters as his time in the sin bin just before half-time ultimately allowed the Storm to run riot and secure the points by a lazy 28-8 score.

– Josh Addo-Carr went down with a bad ankle injury (Putting him out of Origin I), and so did the Bulldogs on Good Friday, as Latrell Mitchell and Campbell Graham (In the space of 11 minutes) both scored hat-tricks and put up a half-century on the Berries in an old-fashioned crucifixion.

– After a shitshow in Round 5 against St George, the Dolphins went up to North Queensland for the first time and dusted off the Cowboys thanks to a Hammer hat-trick to equal a First Grade record (Scoring in the first 6 games for an expansion team), further cementing the Cowboys’ slide back to reality as

– Tommy Turbo finally got back spasms from having to carry Manly’s backline for 7 years, as the Panthers went berserk on the Sea Eagles and won 44-12, making it 97 points in 2 games.

– The Raiders performed the upset of the season against the undefeated Broncos at Suncorp, lifting them from 16th to 16th, albeit with 2 wins instead of 1, and some say Jordan Rapana is still bleeding to this day

– The Titans defeated the Dragons thanks to Toby Sexton’s late converted try, in a game that will be remembered as a game of rugby league, and nothing more.

– The Knights continue to make no sense at all, as they handled the Warriors quite comfortably in the Hunter, but they have now lost captain Jayden Brailey for the season with a knee injury, his third serious lower leg injury in the space of 4 years

– The Tigers actually gave a yelp against Parramatta on Easter Monday, winning just about every major statistic except the one that mattered most… the scoreboard

Now, looking at the draw for Round 8, and it appears we’ve got some semi-decent games in store, meaning the tipsters will be experiencing migraines:

– The Thursday night dick around sees the Redcliffe Dolphins move another home game to Suncorp due to excess demand, as they take on the Rabbitohs in prime time, and there was a piece of history today (April 12), as the Rabbitohs trained at Redfern Oval for the last time, just shy of 75 years to the day (April 17, 1948) that South Sydney officially moved in to what became their spiritual home ground.

– Two has-been clubs take on each other in the 6pm Friday slot as Cronulla hosts the Sydney Roosters, having not defeated Easts since 2017

– The latest edition of the Battle of Brookvale takes shape as Manly play Melbourne, and lord help the Sea Eagles backline, because Anthony Seibold’s coaching definitely won’t

– The Warriors and the Cowboys play off for the Todd Payten Cup in Auckland, the second time the Warriors and Cowboys have played in the space of 5 weeks, yet another example of the NRL’s strange sharp turnaround fixturing in 2023.

– A Knights team without captain Brailey face up against the resurgent 2-time defending champion Panthers, and anything below 40 points for the Panthers is now considered chronic underperformance, such has been their last fortnight.

– Another Queensland Derby this week as the Titans play the Broncos on the Glitter Strip, and somehow the Titans are actually in the Top 8 thanks to winning their home games

– The revived Raiders play the Dragons in Canberra, and while Jordan Rapana’s head still bleeds like a stuck pig, the Dragons are subjecting Anthony Griffin to a prolonged period of torture as they weigh up his future for 2024 and beyond

– And the last game of the round sees old rivals Parramatta and Canterbury face off on the Sunday free-to-air slot, and if the Eels are going to make something out of 2023, they should be defeating a Berries team devoid of not only Josh Addo-Carr, but Viliame Kikau after the big forward was ruled out for 2 months due to a pectoral injury.

Now, enough garbage, here’s my Round 7 Succinct Tips, and last week was a welcome return to the sweet embrace of 5/8:

Round 6 Score = 5/8, Progress Score = 28/48 (58.3%)

Round 7 =

Yes, I actually picked the Dolphins over the Rabbits, simply on a hunch because I haven’t picked one upset this season.

And now for the Round 7 Lock of the Week, and last week the Lock had it’s colours lowered by Kermit the Frog, as the Raiders upset the Broncos and turned it into the Moz of the Week.

Now, the Round 7 attempt at the Lock of the Week…

Mt Smart Stadium will turn into a SLICE OF HEAVEN, as the Warriors bounce back better than the Cowboys and send them back to Cairns with the sound of DAVE DOBBYN RINGING IN THEIR EARS!

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