Cricket: Perth Scorchers 6/174 (20) lost to Adelaide Strikers 5-175 (19.1)

The worst-ever season in the brief history of the Perth Scorchers was finally euthanised in Adelaide in the Wooden Spoon Bash, with the men in orange consigned to their first wooden spoon to go with missing the BBL finals for the first time. To top it off, Nathan Coulter-Nile went down with a bout of vertigo and ended up in hospital, although if you ask me he got off lightly by not having to watch the rest of his teammates.

Racing: Pinjarra Magic Millions and The Albany Cup

The biggest weekend of the year for the Pinjarra Race Club (Not really saying much there) is the annual Magic Millions Race Day, coinciding with the sales at the new complex out in the Swan Valley. Makes perfect sense to hold the races a million miles south of it.

Anyway, the 2YO Classic was taken out by David Harrison’s unbeaten gelding Jericho Missile, in what was pretty much Pike doing Pike things as he flew home to nail Niccovi.

The 3YO Classic was won by another promising unbeaten gelding, in the form of Chris Gangemi’s Samizdat, who hadn’t raced since July of last year, but produced a stunning turn of foot under Jarrad Noske to also win in the shadows of the post. A good future ahead!

The Albany Cup had a new date as the ARC said “Piss off” to the Easter Sunday date in an effort to get better horses in the feature, and ultimately it was shorted price favourite (And decent young stayer) The Big Show, possibly a relation of Glenn Maxwell, who took the lead on the turn and held off He’s A Parker to give Albany expats Mitch Pateman and trainer Darren McAuliffe their first win in the race.

Meanwhile, Material Man flew over to Melbourne to run in the jiggerless Group 1 CF Orr Stakes at Caulfield, running on to finish a game 6th . A solid first up performance in his first race outside WA, he’s in the mix to gain a start in the All-Star Mile, sitting 8th in voting.

Football: Perth Glory d. Melbourne Victory …x2

The afternoon kicked off with Sammy Kerr and the Glory ladies taking on the Victory ladies in the W-League semi finals, and the Vics scored early on thanks to a shanked cross, but Kerr, as she basically does for the Matildas and the Glory all the bloody time, dragged the Glory in front by scoring the equaliser and then providing the assist for Rachel Hill in the 86th, then in extra time, she finished off the Vics with two more goals to bring up a magnificent hat-trick. I’m so used to hearing C.Judd D.Kerr, 3 votes, today it was S.Kerr, 3 votes.

Then the Glory men faced off in a battle of the A-League’s ladder leaders- Which was devoid of scoring until the hour when the Glory got a penalty for a handball, duly converted by Neil Kilkenny, before Diego Castro sprung up out of nowhere to make it 2-nil, and the Glory held off a late Victory rally to take the points- their most important win of the season to date.

The Glory now lead the A-League by 7 points and are buckin’ hard to stop for the Premiers Plate, and the Glory ladies will face off against Sydney FC for the W-League title – Purple reign!

NBL: Wildcats 95 d. Sydney Kings 85 in Overtime 

Bryce Cotton was dropping a big fat bastard of a donut through three quarters, missing his first 10 shots as the Kings led by 14 points, before he produced 16 minutes of symphonic magnificence that even Andre Rieu would have teared up watching.

Cotton scored his first points with 1:10 left in the 3rd quarter- He finished with 27, including 14 in overtime to pretty much single handily drag the fresh legs of the Wildcats over the line, after the game ended 77-apiece in regulation.

With a playoff spot already secured, the ‘Cats play Adelaide on Friday and then United in Melbourne, for what could be a match-up for the minor premiership if everything falls into place.

AFL-W: Freo 67 d. Brisbane 40

Fresh off their first ever win outside of WA, the Dockers added another first by knocking off the two-time Grand Finalists for the first time, and they did it in style with another big score, led by Dana Hooker and the forward trio of Sharp, O’Sullivan and Duffy.

Highest scoring team in the league, unbeaten and preparing to face a winless Collingwood, this is typically where things go to shit for Freo.