AFL: Round 6

A Link to the Review of Round Six—- BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

NRL Round 7

Sydney 20 defeated St George 10 @ The SCG

Seems like every week that goes by, the Chooks dominate the 1st half, let their opponents back in it, and then laugh at them by winning and crushing their hopes.

Despite trailing 14-nil at the half, the Dragons made it a thrilling conclusion in the 2nd half, when Matt Dufty chug-a-lugged his way 65m to score a ripping try and make it 12-10 with half-an-hour to go, only for Siosiua Taukeiaho to break through some pretty soft Saints tackling and score the sealer with 3 minutes left.

Somehow, the Chooks keep losing players and still find a way to win- Keary was out, and captain Jake Friend tore his labrum in the 2nd half, and still managed to play out the game, and will now miss at least 3 months as a result.

That’s the toughest thing I’ve heard of from a captain since All Blacks stalwart Wayne Shelford ripped his scrotum open and exposed his testicles against France in 1986- All he did was ask the physio to stitch it up and send him back out.

Sure, Buck was later concussed and the All Blacks still lost, but he was prepared to lose his manhood for his teammates, just like Friend was prepared to severe his arm from the shoulder, and that’s damn inspiring.

Melbourne 13 defeated New Zealand 12 @ AAMI Park

My arrogant preview prediction was on for a hilarious backfire with 10 minutes to go, until the Storm do what they’ve turned into an art form since the Ming Dynasty- Find a way to win, this time thanks to a penalty goal from Cam Munster and Brodie Croft’s field goal with 2 minutes to play.

The plucky, undermanned, massive underdog Warriors played out of their skins all night, filled with players I had to Google on Thursday evening to make sure were real, only to fall a point short of what would’ve been a lock for upset of the season.

If only the Warriors went for the try in the 5th minute instead of going for the penalty goal from 10m out.. it could’ve been 12-nil inside of 10 minutes, and then I’m probably writing this a few days later still wiping a spate of eggs from my face.

Canterbury 24 defeated North Queensland 12 @ ANZ Stadium

Dean Pay didn’t change the Berries lineup, the Cowboys thought they were getting Jason Taumalolo back, and then they didn’t, and it spelled doom for the Townsvillians, if that is the correct terminology.

With the scores deadlocked a 6 apiece at the half, the Berries seized control in the 50th minute when Corey Harawira-Naera ripped through the Cows defence like a bout of gastro, and then followed it up with another try to even out his average at a try per surname- In all, the Doggies went on a 24-nil run, until Ben Hampton crashed over with 13 minutes to go, but that was it for the scoring, as the hosts lifted themselves from 16th to 16th, with the Cows not too far ahead in 15th.

If we want to get technical, the Dogs are actually in Equal 10th on the ladder. That’s much more positive.

Souths 22 defeated Penrith 18 @ Panthers Stadium

“Ivan the Terrible ruled for 51 years… His son died a virgin too btw.” – /u/Tony_AbbottPBUH

Chalk up Souths’ win as a classic case of quality instead of quantity.

Penrith had 55 tackles inside the Souths 20m, and scored 3 tries.

Souths had 14 tackles inside the Penrith 20m, and scored 4 tries.

That’s the impact of one of the greatest minds in the history of rugby league… and Ivan Cleary.

Wests Tigers 30 defeated Gold Coast 14 @ Some Park in Tamworth

At 14-nil to the Tits after 20 minutes, I was wondering if this was going to be a case of how far, especially in the manner that Wests got Eel-ectrocuted on Monday.

And throw in the fact that Josh Reynolds went down with a knee injury a mere 6 minutes into the game, this looks a very good performance by Michael Maguire’s big cats.

Most of all, Mahe Fonua, who sparked the comeback in the 24th minute with his first, and capped it off in the final minute to finish off his hat-trick.

Funny to think one of the teams involved in the 51-6 game ended up winning comfortably the next week… and it wasn’t the Eels.

Brisbane 29 defeated Cronulla 6 @ Suncorp Stadium

The month of hiding for Broncos fans is over, as they achieved rugby league history, by handing Paul Gallen a share of the ‘Most Losses In First Grade History’ achievement with Scotty Prince, with his 166th career defeat!

Put simply, that could be Brisbane’s greatest achievement since the 2006 Premiership, and it’s truly ironic, and possibly fitting, that the Storm could be the team to send Gallo to loss #167 next Friday.

Were it not for the salary cap rorting, he might’ve reached the record much sooner!

Quite literally adding insult to injury for the Sharkies, Shaun Johnson hurt his hamstring and was sent down to the rooms, where he whipped out his phone (Breaching NRL rules) and read the screen in shock.

That’s the look of someone finding out that Mandela Effect lost at Caulfield earlier that day.

And now, on Thursday night, we get the second greatest fight witnessed on television this week, behind Game of Thrones, as the Broncos take on Souths in…

The Battle of Bennett.

Manly 24 defeated Canberra 22 @ Brookvale

If losing Tommy Turbo was bad enough for the Sea Eagles, then losing Daly Cherry Evans for most of the 2nd half should surely put the Sea Eagles out of action for the meantime.

You could feel the shudder up the collective spine of the Sunshine State, with approximately 6 weeks until Origin I, and the man pinned as the next captain of the Maroons half a chance to not even be there.

But you know what? The Sea Eagles still managed to win, against the best form team outside of the Top 2 in the league, after trailing at half time.

Lachlan Croker stepped up and didn’t have the opposite of a Barry Crocker, scoring a double, and Marty Taupau was a bulldozer as per usual, while for the Green Machine, in only their second blemish for the year, Jordy Rapana was sent from the field with smashed ribs.

But, we have to remember Jordy has a weird set of Mormon healing powers- He came back from a massive shoulder injury six weeks early!

And now Des gets the chance to get one back on his former employer- that doesn’t involve going to a courtroom to get his salary.

Newcastle 28 defeated Parramatta 14 @ McDonald Jones Stadium

If this were horse racing, that 51-6 effort from Parramatta last Monday would be the most utterly useless formline in the history of the world.

And it could only come from the Eels.

After losing five straight games, the Knights rocketed out of the blocks with some lightning quick play-the-balls to have the Eels reeling at 20-nil after 30 minutes.

In a way, a bit like the 2001 Grand Final- The Knights build a massive lead, and the Eels can’t come back.

THANKS TO THE RESULTS ON THE WEEKEND, THE CIRCLE OF PARITY FOR 2019 HAS BEEN COMPLETED!

A-League: Round 27

With the final round of the regular season, the teams that had nothing to play for decided to go out with a bang, while some games were just.. normal.

Adelaide United 5 defeated Brisbane Roar 3 @ Suncorp Stadium

Matt McKay and Henrique farewelled the Roar faithful, and considering the circumstances of being crushed for ratings behind the AFL and NRL on ANZAC Day, 11,000 for the final game of the season was a fair result for Brissy.

They also had a feast of goals- After sitting at 1-all at the half, the Roar ended up taking the lead twice shortly before the hour, but Adelaide, who had the chance to secure 4th spot, rocketed home with 3 goals in the final 20 minutes to take the points in an 8 goal epic.

Conceding 5 goals also ensured that Brisbane’s season was officially HISTORIC- They conceded a grand total of 71 goals, the most in a single season of the A-League!

Melbourne City 5 defeated Central Coast 0 @ AAMI Park

Quite an appropriate way for the Mariners’ season to end- Getting their balls torn off by a rampant finals contender.

Thanks to City’s complete and utter selfishness for goals, we have been denied one of life’s great joys- A Melbourne Derby Final.

It’s like when Santa sent Cyclone Tracy to destroy Darwin in 1974.

And the Mariners can’t even call their season historic- The only conceded 70 goals, not 71.

Newcastle Jets 2 defeated Sydney FC 0 @ McDonald Jones Stadium

Coming off the short week thanks to the ACL, the Sky Blues had nothing major to play for, with 2nd place and the week-off already assured, and they’ll damn well need the rest.

In the end, the Jets slip from being a Grand Finalist last season, to missing the finals.

Melbourne Victory 1 defeated Western Sydney 0 @ ANZ Stadium

The Wanderers’ last home game before moving back to Parramatta, Red & Black stalwart Mark Bridge farewelled the A-League after a fantastic career, and the Victory warmed up for next week with a solid defensive performance.

Really, that was pretty it- aside from Kosta Barbarouses having a clean run on goal, only to trip over himself and do nothing… Yep, easy stuff for the Vuc.

Perth Glory 5 defeated Wellington Phoenix 0 @ HBF Arena

There’s a distance of 5,257km between Perth and Wellington, the second longest away trip in world football, behind some Russian teams travelling to Vladivostok.. or some part of Siberia.

We found out during the week that QBE were walking out on the Glory after 22 years, apparently wanting a “greater gender balance” in its sponsorships.

That’d be like SGIO walking out on West Coast right as they’re about to win a Premiership.

Hang on, that did happen.

What a way to cap off a dominant season for the Glory boys- The Premiers Plate secured, Liam Reddy keeping his 12th clean sheet of the season, they went hell for leather and just as Tony Popovic wanted, they’re going into the finals series HOT.

Oli Sail had a tough night in front of goal for the visitors, and if he hadn’t literally put his balls on the line, the Glory may very well have fired through 6 or 7 goals.

To come to think of it, this is a smart tactical tank by the Phoenix- They now only have to fly to Melbourne instead of Adelaide- That’s a full hour less on a plane, and you don’t have to fly to Adelaide.

And Diego Castro has made history by winning his second Alex Tobin Medal- THERE IS A MAN WHO COMES FROM SPAIN, CASTRO, CASTRO!

Super Netball: Round 1

I like how in Super Netball, they give out points for winning quarters, to add incentive to attacking netball.

Technically speaking, you could lose and the winners get 5 points, but still minimize the damage by winning 3 quarters.

That’s actually not a half bad idea.

Melbourne Vixens 73 defeated Queensland Firebirds 61

Emily Mannix, of no relation to Brian Mannix of the Uncanny X-Men, was a start in the 2nd half for the Vixens, who powered away after the scores were level 35-apiece at the half, no thanks to the stout Goal Keeping of Mannix, who forced Romelda Aiken into 6 missed shots (36/42), while at the other end, Caitlin Thwaites went 50/51 in her first outing in….

What colour are the Vixens in, Navy Blue?

Collingwood 57 defeated Sunshine Coast Lightning 43

Collingwood’s netball team had a bigger win this weekend than the AFL team… against the 2-time defending premiers to boot.

Geva Mentor, who could be the only English player I can name besides Stacey Francis and Tracey Neville, faced her former suitors as she lined up in the black & white, and she made sure the Queenslanders knew what they’d lost, while Nat Medhurst, discarded by the Fever, pitched in to help Shimona Nelson by shooting 11/15.

Not exactly the best shooting night for either team (82% vs 79%), but a win’s a win.

NSW Swifts defeated 63 GWS Giants 56

At least one team in Sydney can defeat GWS.. The Swifts’ ladies could’ve been playing for the Swans with swift (Pardon the pun) transition play like this:

Adelaide Thunderbirds 51 defeated West Coast Fever 50

I don’t even need to look up any footage of the game to guess that regardless of key injuries, the umpires robbed the Fever and handed the Thunderbirds their first win in 28 games.

Hang on, 28 bloody games without a win?

And I thought Carlton were bad…

For some reason, there doesn’t seem to be any footage of the game, so I’m going to assume that like a tree falling in a forest that nobody saw, did it really happen?

Super Rugby: Round 11

Superb work by both Rugby Australia and the NZRU to schedule a grand total of ZERO games between Australian and New Zealand teams on the ANZAC Day weekend.

SANZAAAAAAR at its finest.

Sharks 23 defeated Waratahs 15 @ Bankwest Stadium

The ‘Tahs made their first visit out to the new stadium, and Jed Holloway decided to make history by becoming the first player in any code to get sent off, when he elbowed Thomas du Toit in the ruck, which the TMO didn’t miss, and helped Referee Berry give Holloway his marching orders.

Funnily enough, du Toit was also sanctioned for retaliating and sent to the sin bin, but the Sharks recovered and put away the ‘Tahs with the man advantage.

Jaguares 20 defeated Brumbies 15 @ Estadio Jose Amalfitanti

The time difference between Australia and Argentina is so great I only just found out the Brumbies lost, and it’s Monday morning.

The Brumbies could’ve gone to the top with another win, following on their win in South Africa last week, but the physical play of the Argentinians finished them off in a frantic first half, as neither team scored a try after the half, exchanging a pair of penalty goals.

“Wiiiiild horses, couldn’t put them away…”

The Horses

To say the least, it was a terrible weekend for race falls around the country.

Three jockeys went down in Race 2 at the annual Tomingley Cup picnic meeting in Central NSW, leaving jockey Michael Hackett in an induced coma, while Ricky Blewitt suffered thoracic spine fractures, a scapula fracture and rib damage, and Michael Gray appears to be okay, pending the results of an MRI on Monday.

In the Sunday TAB meetings, Ryan Maloney was taken to hospital after suffering a possible broken nose and broken teeth after being dislodged in the straight on the Sunny Coast on Sunday.

Then at Pinjarra, Chris Parnham was dislodged and thankfully avoided a broken wrist, managing not to join the growing list of rider injuries in WA, including Clint Johnston-Porter and Mitch Pateman just days apart in March.

Bonkers in Honkers

Australia’s best sprinter, and one of the best in the world Santa Ana Lane, made his way over to Hong Kong for the fabled Group One Chairman’s Sprint Prize, the very same race that the Grey Flash Chautauqua won spectacularly in 2016.

Without Mark Zahra (Suspended), Hugh Bowman took the reins of the market elect, but in the run, settling in his usual position of last, he was brought undone by the slow speed up front, running on well to finish 4th, but no match for the winner and second favourite, Beat The Clock.

The NFL Draft- Another Australian Punter!

In 1992, Darren Bennett flew to the US and blazed a path for Australians to reach the NFL with his innovative punting for the San Diego Chargers, later followed by Nathan Chapman, Ben Graham and Sav Rocca in the 2000s, and throw in Mat McBriar as well.

Thanks to Michael Dickson’s work in Seattle last season, the Seppos are head over heels for Australians who can kick a pigskin 60 yards.

On the final day of the draft, yet another Aussie found his way into the cut throat world of NFL punting- The Gosnells flyer, Mitch Wishnowsky, drafted in the 4th round by the San Francisco 49ers!

Although the last time the 49ers employed an Aussie, it didn’t end up well… Jarryd.

With the likes of Max Duffy and Ben Griffiths punting in college, the grand dream of 32 Australian punters is almost there!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST… MINJEE LEE!

Can’t believe I didn’t originally throw this in!

Perth’s own Minjee Lee, at the age of just 22, scored a dominant 4-shot win in the LA Open (Fifth career title) this morning, finishing at 14 under and carding all four rounds in the 60s with some impressive consistency.

Lee had shot 66-69-67 prior to Sunday to lead by one stroke from
Nanna Koerstz Madsen, but the Aussie carded another superb 3-under 68 to maintain a healthy lead, ultimately defeating Kim Sei-young.

As a result, she’s jumped from #4 to #2 on the latest LPGA rankings!

MOTORSPORT MONDAY COMING SOON!