Horse Racing

The Chalk Eaters Guide Review: Cup Day Edition

The moment Frankie Dettori ruined peoples Christmases

After today’s classic result of seeing Frankie somehow keep up his tradition of losing the Cup in hilarious fashion, and Lloyd Williams simultaneously be denied his baby, I think I’ve found the key to getting Australian-bred stayers to compete with the Europeans.

Just have me bag the shit out of the Australian breeding industry.

The stewards protested on behalf of O’Brien against O’Brien, and in the end, O’Brien still won.


Shared Ambition in Race 4 at Flemington- WINNER

Very simple stuff for the one they call Nasty Nash, despite getting stuck in a really awkward spot 4 back on the fence, he had the balls to stick to the fence at a time in the day where basically everyone was avoiding it like Hollywood producers avoid Brendan Fraser.

That was just how much confidence he had in Shared Ambition.

He ended up jumping between the minuscule quote of $1.40-$1.50, but still, he’s what ‘they’ call, a good ‘orse.

It ended up being the first of Nash’s 3 winners, as he somehow didn’t get a Cup ride (Probably because all the top weights had riders), and it was the second of Chris Waller’s 3 winners.

Dirty Work in Race 3 at Randwick (Kenso track)- WINNER

Unfortunately you won’t be able to see this on the email

So between the time I threw him in yesterday evening and the jump, Dirty Work went from $2.15 to a very dominant $1.50 favourite.

He raced like one too.

Just showing how ridiculously lopsided the race was at the set weights, Parr easily crossed from Barrier 8, didn’t even get serious until the 200m, by which point he was still leading by a length, and after he got frisky, Dirty Work did the dirty work.

Instant Attraction, the only other horse that firmed in the market, ended up running 2nd, but even he didn’t come close.

Betcha Flying in Race 10 at Flemington- 2nd

On the one hand, thank goodness I managed to get $2.25 for the place, because she somehow got backed into favouritism.

On the other, goddamnit, I had her in my Cup Carnival tipping comp.

Well, Bowman gave her every chance, he stuck to the rail, the runs presented in the but bloody Akari got her again, this time nailing her right on the post… despite starting from the bloody Maribyrnong.

Not To Be Mist in Race 9 at Ascot- 6th

The drama really kicked off when Cryptic Love got scratched about 5 minutes after I posted the Cup Day Chalk Eaters, and then Velago was scratched at the barrier, meaning the grey started really short odds of $1.70.

Still, that paled in comparison to the race, in which Pikey delivered the sort of steer that saw him lose the tribute I made for him on this page.

Fair dinkum, what the **** was that?

If he peels out wide (Like he had the chance to do), then the grey would have deadset shat it in on class alone.

Instead, he just insisted on sticking to the rail and running up arses trying to wait for runs that never came.

Sometimes, Pikey just doesn’t help himself drifting back on so many hotpots.

And thus, the collective weight of a nation was so annoyed, you could hear the roar of anger from Pluto.


Crazy Craig’s Tip Of The Day


LAYING Constantinople in the Melbourne Cup- LAY SUCCESSFUL

Crazy Craig 1- Crazy Colin, Nil.

You’d think with his status as the Magic Man in Honkers, Joao Moreira would deliver a performance David Blaine would be proud of.

Instead, once again in Australia, he was about as reliable as Jim Jones buying cordial.

Constantinople jumped poorly, had to settle at the rear, and with the leaders running at a goddamn crawl, Constantinople, and several other contenders like Cross Counter and Surprise Baby, had Buckley’s chance of winning.

Now you might think Crazy Colin will be throwing a few punches at the Boy From Bairnsdale after gloating about his success, but trust me, those two will forget the beer tipping incident even happened by the time Oaks Day dawns.

But still, Crazy Craig had his most important lay of the year, and he’s come through in spades.

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