American Football

Tuesday Tithbits: 19th November

It’s technically Wednesday to most people who will read this, but I generally show as much regard for my viewerbase as the window cleaners at Canning Bridge have for basic road safety.


The fastest 4-wheeled pit stop on record last Sunday- Red Bull for Max Verstappen!

The crazy thing was, when I saw it live during the race, I thought the left front had been slow on!

It ended up meaning Jacques Shitte, because Williams decided to release Robert Kubica right into his path at pit exit, but Max is that good, he still won the race.

Sure, the Red Bull crew are the best performed crew in the universe, but could they beat Guido from Cars?


The New South Wales jersey for the Adelaide Origin game

Apparently it’s a callback to the 1997 Origin get-up, a series the Blues won 2-1 in the heat of the Super League wars, although it was best remembered for Andrew Johns attempting to start the fabled CATTLEDOG on Tommy’s orders, and succeeding in getting his shit packed in by Jamie Goddard with a beautiful right hook.

It’s funny to think that by 1997 standards, this was a little bit of a scuffle.

Imagine the advertisng that RNSW can run for this thing.

“The jersey that packs a punch, unlike Joey.”


Latrell meeting with the Cowboys

Everyone knows it was all a ruse into making Valentine Holmes shit himself into thinking that they were going to sign Latrell, so that Val would make up his mind more quickly.

IT APPEARS TO HAVE WORKED.

A few months ago Val was hoping he’d be signed by a similar band of underachieving Cowboys…. only that they were the ones based in Dallas.


Australians in the NFL: Week 11

Jordan Berry (Steelers) lost to the Cleveland Browns 21-7

It’s funny to think that in the AFC North, the Steelers are the only team not created as a direct result of the nefarious behaviour of Art Modell.

The Ravens: Stolen from Cleveland in 1996, The Bengals: Created by Paul Brown after Modell fired him, The Browns: ‘Reactivated’ in 1999 as a result of the relocation agreement, despite for all intents and purposes being a really crap expansion team.

Jordan actually punted pretty well again, but I’ll just cut straight to the chase and take my 3789th look at the talking point of the week.

THE HELMET BASHING

Goddamn, clubbing a guy in the head with his own helmet, and with 8 seconds left in the game.

It’s amazing to think that a steel chair to the head would have been a safer option in that circumstance.

Miles Garrett got banned indefinitely for one of the most utterly mind boggling acts ever seen on an NFL field, one that had somehow never happened before, Steelers centre Maurkice Pouncey got 3 games for coming in and at least defending his QB with more than a few punches and kicks, Larry Ogunjobi from the Browns earned a game, and Mason Rudolph, despite being very complicit in trying to rip Garrett’s helmet off in the initial incident, only got fined.

Classic Ginger Hammer.

In a beautiful scenario, the Steelers play the Browns in a fortnight in Pittsburgh.

Someone’s going home in a body bag.

Lachie Edwards (Jets)- defeated the Washington Redskins 34-17

Amazing scenes, as the Jets manage to win back-to-back games, which does make sense, because the Redskins are currently going as well as their namesakes in the 19th Century.

Adam Gotsis (Denver Broncos) lost 27-23 to the Minnesota Vikings @ US Bank Stadium

Thankfully Adam played again, and had his usual 2 tackles, and at Half Time, a major boilover was on the cards, with the Broncos leading a stunning 20-0 against a team that was 7-3 and hadn’t lost at home this season.

They promptly fell behind, got down to the Vikings 4 yard line with 10 seconds to go…

And then threw 3 incompletions and lost the game.

The last 99 teams in the NFL to hold a 20 point lead all won.

You can change that to 1-99.

Mitch Wishnowsky (49ers): defeated Arizona Cardinals 36-26 @ Levi’s Stadium

There’s never a dull moment with this Niners team.

They were down 16-0, came back to lead 23-19, then Kyler Murray, who once again gave Niners fans fits, led a drive to put the Cardinals ahead 26-23.

The Cardinals did pick off Jimmy Garoppolo, but that Niners defence forced a stop and got the ball back just before the 2-minute warning.

Just when it appeared the Niners were getting ready to send out McLaughlin to tie the scores, Jimmy G’s winning instincts shone through, when he fired his 4th touchdown pass of the game to Jeff Wilson Jr with 31 seconds remaining, to put the Niners ahead 30-26 (After the PAT).

Now, what happened after that, I need to provide context.

ESPN’s Scott Van Pelt has a very popular segment called Bad Beats, in which he and his friend Stanford Steve detail the many moments that sent gamblers insane, be it via a team scoring a late touchdown to ruin a handicap, or to send the game past the over/under for the total score.

Given my hobbies, it perfectly suits me.

Well, the line for the game was the Niners being favoured by an even 10 points, and plenty of people took the Cardinals to ‘cover’ that line, based on their performance on Halloween.

After that last touchdown, the Cardinals got ready for a Hook and Ladder on the last play of the game, only for one of the laterals to be mishandled, and in the pile on for the ball, Cardinals lineman JR Sweezy ripped the ball out, batted it 20 yards backwards, where Niners safety DJ Reed picked it up and scored a touchdown as time expired.

So after covering for all 60 minutes, the Cardinals managed to arse it all up.

They didn’t actually lose their money, because in the event of the game ending exactly on an even line, is known as a ‘push’ and all bets are refunded.

I would’ve loved to have seen the faces of people who had the Niners winning by -9.5, but they’ve probably all suffered a Michael Hutchence-esque accident.

Cam Johnston (Philadelphia Eagles): lost 17-10 to the New England Patriots @ ‘The Linc’

The rematch of Super Bowl LII, which featured just 1 punt for the game in an offensive onslaught for the ages.

This time around, the Eagles and Pats punted 16 times- 8 each from Cam and Pats punter Jake Bailey, and in the Eagles’ cse, they punted on their last 8 possessions.

Anyway, the Eagles led 10-0, but thanks to a heap of field goals and Bill Belichick getting revenge for the Philly Special, the Pats had some fun…. unlike Lane Johnson, who ended up getting concussed.

It really was a game you’d rather forget.


Max Duffy update- Kentucky defeated Vanderbuilt 38-14

A dominant performance from the Wildcats, putting up 398 yards on the ground, to such a degree that Max only had to punt once- Kentucky’s last drive before the end of the game!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s