American Football

Sadly, no Super Bowl for Mitch Wishnowsky

“I’ll be deep in the cold cold ground before I recognise Missouri!”

Not that Mitch was the reason for the 49ers losing – He delivered the opening kickoff, held on all 4 of Robbie Gould’s successful kicks, and only punted twice.

Still, what another double digit disaster of a Super Bowl from Kyle Shanahan, after his playcalling in the 2nd Half of Super Bowl LI led to Atlanta’s legendary 28-3 blown lead.

1:47 remaining in the 1st Half after they stuffed the Chiefs on 3rd & 14, with the score at 10-10, with the Niners getting the ball back before the half.

Despite John Lynch wanting him to call timeout from the box, Shanahan didn’t call a timeout, most likely out of cowardice and fear of giving the ball back to Patrick Mahomes, instead of trying to go out and win the game.

Then after a shitshoot of plays with the clock running, the Niners lost any hope of scoring when George Kittle was called for pass interference.

Bravo, Kyle.

Then later on, after slamming on 10 points in the 3rd Quarter as Patrick Mahomes was sleeping with the light on trying to hide from Nick Bosa, the Niners led 20-10 with a quarter to go, before picking off Mahomes again as KC marched to the 30, and with the way the Niners were running the ball, they should have run the Chiefs into the ground with 12 minutes left.

However, proving himself worthy of appearing on a reunion episode of Seinfeld, Shanahan learned absolutely nothing from 3 years ago.

Instead, the Niners had a strange drive, which was stalled by false start, incompletions and a missed offside, meaning they barely burned 3 minutes, forcing Mitch to punt for the first time all night.

After a false start, the Chiefs were backed up to 1st and 10 to their own 35 with 7:53 remaining, and then following a successful challenge by Shanahan to overturn a catch, it was 3rd and 15 with 7:17 remaining.

At that point, the Niners peaked at a 96.1% chance of winning.

Aaaaaaand then Tyreek Hill ended up in a hole the size of Adelaide.

For some reason, the Fox Network mysteriously blacked out in the Bay Area before that pass.

After the Chiefs marched down and scored, the Niners got the ball, ran on 1st down, then somehow went pass-pass, the first of which was batted down, the second of which is thrown away under pressure.

After Mitch made another appearance, the Chiefs did their inevitable evisceration of the Niners in a mere 2:26 to take the lead.

You can see in the top of the screen that Shanahan is sprinting to call a timeout, primarily because he can see Richard Sherman is about to get absolutely demolished in coverage.

And as the Chiefs took the lead, Jimmy Garoppolo, formerly known as GOATroppolo, went to water, turned the ball over on downs, and then threw his second pick of the night to end the game.

21 points in 5 minutes in the 4th Quarter of a Super Bowl.

I should be surprised, but it’s Patrick Mahomes – The Chiefs were down by double digits 5 times this season, including in all 3 playoff games.

They won all 5 times.

And thus, Jesse Williams is still the only Australian with a Super Bowl ring.

On another note, here’s Shakira impersonating Xena Warrior Princess, in a traditional Arab act of joy known as Zaghrouta.

For those of you who didn’t see it, I’ll simply conclude that the Half Time show was a pervert’s wet dream.

Categories: American Football

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