In light of his comments yesterday, Wayne Bennett will oversee a pre-game drug test of Buzz Rothfield, Brent Read, Dean Ritchie, Paul Crawley and James Hooper with help from ASADA.
Peter V’Landys will further detail the ARLC’s 2021 bold plan of returning things to normal, like returning Origin to winter, and neglecting the New Zealand Warriors.
The game will start at about 8:16pm AEDT instead of 8pm because of all the usual boring pre-game festivities.
James Maloney will turn up out of nowhere to rescue Nathan Cleary from another disappointing performance, like the Ultimate Warrior coming to save Hulk Hogan:
Channel 9 will experience a ratings spike with Gus Gould taking the night off, helping people remember that Penrith were never really on top in the Grand Final, and in fact, lost the game to the Melbourne Storm.
Every Channel 9 pundit (Andrew Johns, Billy Slater, Humphrey B. Bear and Plucka Duck) will mention how much pressure the Blues are under.
By day, Dane Gagai is a mild-mannered rugby league player from Redfern, but come night time, he will turn into ORIGIN GAGAI.
And above all, I will go with Cameron Munster to look like this on Thursday morning….
AFTER A BIG NIGHT OF CELEBRATING, BECAUSE WAYNE AND THE MAROONS ARE WINNING THIS IN A CLOSE ONE