Thank you Don you massive loser, let’s get straight into it:
“In light of his comments yesterday, Wayne Bennett will oversee a pre-game drug test of Buzz Rothfield, Brent Read, Dean Ritchie, Paul Crawley and James Hooper with help from ASADA.”
PROBABLY happened, and based on the performance of the ‘worst Queensland team in 40 years’ last night, every one of those tests have been positive towards negative.
“Peter V’Landys will further detail the ARLC’s 2021 bold plan of returning things to normal, like returning Origin to winter, and neglecting the New Zealand Warriors.”
“The game will start at about 8:16pm AEDT instead of 8pm because of all the usual boring pre-game festivities.”
I sat on the couch and did the timing on the phone, and by my own eyes, I was off, get this…
BY 15 SECONDS.
Gerard Sutton blew his whistle at what I estimate was 20:15:45 AEDT, although it was probably earlier with the natural TV delay.
If only those meatheads had cheered during the Last Post a little bit longer.
“James Maloney will turn up out of nowhere to rescue Nathan Cleary from another disappointing performance, like the Ultimate Warrior coming to save Hulk Hogan”
I reckon Jimmy was there in spirit, or at least on FaceTime, because Nathan suddenly looked like the player we’ve come to see in 2020 and burned the joint down.
115 run metres, a line break that led to Cody Walker’s try, 3 tackle breaks, and his field kicking was nothing short of beautiful – That 40/20 with the game pretty much over was like caviar on the cake.
Gathers it down low, kicks it at an acute angle off one stride, and absolutely nails it.
“Channel 9 will experience a ratings spike with Gus Gould taking the night off, helping people remember that Penrith were never really on top in the Grand Final, and in fact, lost the game to the Melbourne Storm.”
Game 1 Ratings – National audience of 2,370,000
Game 2 Ratings – National audience of 2,434,000
A full 64,000 more viewers – Can you say RATINGS SPIKE or what!
“Every Channel 9 pundit (Andrew Johns, Billy Slater, Humphrey B. Bear and Plucka Duck) will mention how much pressure the Blues are under.”
I definitely heard Humphrey B. Bear mention to James Bracey and Peter Sterling how much pressure Nathan Cleary was under.
“By day, Dane Gagai is a mild-mannered rugby league player from Redfern, but come night time, he will turn into ORIGIN GAGAI.“
Well let’s see, Gagai had 92 run metres, 4 tackle breaks, he recorded the try assist for Xavier Coates, and defended pretty well down his edge, save for getting brushed aside by Jack Wighton early in the 2nd Half…
Which easily puts him in the best-ons for the Maroons.
If anything, I think Josh Addo-Carr is now developing an Origin Foxx alter ego – 4 tries in 2 games already in 2020, which brings his Origin total to 8 in 8 NSW appearances, including 3 doubles.
“And above all, I will go with Cameron Munster to look like this on Thursday morning….”
With the way Cameron smacked his head in the turf after Tyson Frizell hit him mid-air (I’d wager a second referee would’ve spotted that) and got up with jelly legs, Munster may very well have woken up looking like that this morning, because bloody hell, that hurt to watch.
It turned out Munster ‘passed’ the HIA, but with him staggering immediately after getting to his feet (A Cat 1 failure), combined with what had just happened with Boyd Cordner, there was no way QLD team doctor Matt Hislop could let him back out in good conscience.
And boy oh boy, did the Banana Benders go to water without him.
“AFTER A BIG NIGHT OF CELEBRATING, BECAUSE WAYNE AND THE MAROONS ARE WINNING THIS IN A CLOSE ONE”
As I said off the top:
If you only count the legal tries, like this one from Xavier Coates, the Maroons EASILY win.
Honestly, looked what happened after the late flurry of ILLEGAL New South Wales mail-in tries turned the game Blue.
I kid, I tipped New South Wales on FootyTips.