JT’s Random NRL Picks: Round 8, 2021

Mitchell-san sweeps the leg for a try assist

Ah, another chaotic week in rugbaleeg.

The NRL are weighing up the concept of a conference system, probably trying to ensure that an all-Sydney Grand Final would never take place again, and enabling the Storm to appear in another 15 Grand Finals by playing the Queensland teams over and over again.

Wests Tigers were apparently on the verge of sacking Madge when they never actually were, which would’ve been another example of the Tigers being the Tigers.

Some dickheads went too far and racially abused Latrell Mitchell,

Souths are set to lose a guaranteed conversion after every try with Adam Reynolds appearing set to join Cronulla in 2022

Brent Naden continued Trent Barrett’s efforts to turn Canterbury into the Blue & White Penrith by joining Belmore on a two-year deal from 2022.

And Tom Dearden continued the failures of the Broncos front office as he decided to switch sides to the Cowboys next season.

Anyway, for this week’s Random Picks, I’m going completely overboard with the video references for my picks, because EVERY SINGLE GAME HAS A RANDOM GAG.

Total So Far = 38/56


Canberra Raiders (8th) vs South Sydney Rabbitohs (3rd) at GIO Stadium, Thursday 7:50pm AEST

I’ll be honest, I’m only picking Souths so I can make this timeless reference to Monty Python:

Melbourne Storm (4th) vs Cronulla Sharks (13th) at AAMI Park, Friday 6pm

In anticipation of the likely culling the Sharks are probably going to cop in Melbourne, here’s yet another Jaws reference, this time from the end of Jaws 2 when the big dumb mechanical shark swam right into the electric cable chasing Chief Brody and got fried at the end:

I can’t help but think that the ending from Jaws 2 would also work as a metaphor if Parramatta (The Eel-etric Eels) defeated Cronulla.

Brisbane Broncos (15th) vs Gold Coast Titans (7th) at Suncorp Stadium, Friday 7:55pm AEST

Well, given it is the South East Queensland Derby:

Penrith Panthers (1st) vs Manly Sea Eagles (11th) at Carrington Park, Bathurst, Saturday 3pm AEST

If the Panthers take the Turbo-charged Silvertails seriously out at Mount Panorama, something the Titans failed to do in Mudgee, then I think it’ll look something like this:

Narrated by David ‘The Doctor’ Tennant

That’s exactly what my dog does when she hunts tennis balls.

Canterbury-Penrith Bulldogs (16th) vs Parramatta Eels (2nd) at Stadium Australia, Sunday 5:30pm AEST

The Dogs may have guaranteed they won’t go winless in 2021, but for the time being, just sit back and enjoy the wonders of National Geographic documentaries:

A six-foot Eel you say….

By any chance, is it named ‘Maika Sivo’?

Newcastle Knights (10th) vs Sydney Roosters (5th) at McDonald Jones Stadium, 7:35pm AEST

A Rooster lashing out at a Channel Nine reporter.

I think we should call that cockerel Trent Robinson.

New Zealand Warriors (9th) vs North Queensland Cowboys (12th) at Central Coast Stadium, Sunday 2pm AEST

In the first edition of Todd Payten vs the Warriors, I’ve got to take the Gosford locals, and believe it or not, I actually got my hands on the video of Reece Walsh being initiated into the Warriors before his NRL debut at AAMI Park last Sunday night:

What a lovely, intermate ceremony – Well done Nick, hopefully game 2 goes a bit better.

St George-Illawarra Dragons (6th) vs Wests Tigers (14th) at WIN Stadium, 4:05pm AEST

What an utterly uninspiring spectacle between two teams who got absolutely slapped stupid on Anzac Day.

You’ve got St Merge, who just cannot win as a short-priced favourite with all the weight of expectation weighing them down, even though the Roosters were the clear bookies pick last Sunday, and the Tigers are the Tigers, taking one step forward and 8 steps back as they get ready to knife yet another coach and start another rebuild.

So it seems I can’t find any reference to a dragon fighting a tiger, so for absolutely no reason at all, here’s a sword fight from the still excellent Academy Award-winning film Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon:

Deadset brilliant cinematography, and rightfully recognised by the Academy.

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