NRL

JT’s Random NRL Picks: Round 10, 2021

What a sturdy old venue Lang Park is

Well it’s Round 10 and all eyes are on Brisvegas and Suncorp Stadium this weekend, as rugbaleeg celebrates the return of the unique concept that is MAGIC ROUND, and I reckon a bit of the Steve Miller Band won’t go astray this weekend, because there’s going to be plenty of players performing a bit of ABRACADABRA!

7 out of 8 last weekend…. let’s see if I can’t resort back to type and pick 5 out of 8.


Total Score to Round 9 = 51/72

Picks are underlined


Wests Tigers (15th) vs Newcastle Knights (10th) at Suncorp Stadium, Friday 6pm AEST

Not even the Wests Tigers know which Wests Tigers will turn up, which is why I’m lead to believe King Adam’s Knights of the Round table are going to arrive at Camelot and perform a merry dance:

I could very well turn out to be wrong here, but I reckon the last time the Knights won in Queensland was the last Magic Round in 2019, when they knocked off the Bulldogs….

Which was actually the last time they played at Lang Park, fullstop!


Manly Sea Eagles (9th) vs Brisbane Broncos (14th) at Suncorp Stadium, Friday 8:05pm AEST

Well it’s been a big week for the believers in THE KEVOLUTION at Red Hill, as they simultaneously lost Xavier Coates to the Storm, but prized away superboot Adam Reynolds from South Sydney for 2022, and deadset, that’s the first decent recruit the Broncos have signed from another club since before they gave Wayne Bennett the arse, and right now it’s worked out so well that it simultaneously leaves both the Rabbits and Sharks in a heap.

Now as for the game, I’m prepared to be wrong here, considering the Broncos gave a pretty good yelp on the road, but having won 4 out of their last 5 with the big chess piece descended from the Balkans wearing the No.1, I think the Sea Eagles are going to…

TAKE IT EASY.


Canterbury Bulldogs (16th) vs Canberra Raiders (12th), Saturday 3pm AEST

What a ripping edition of the Cotric Cup between the Bulldogs, who decided to publicly throw one of their major recruits in Kyle Flanagan under the bus and eat his remains with a side of chips, and the Raiders, the team whose English players are willing to travel back to the coronavirus ravaged remains of Great Britain than play for Ricky Stuart, who, along with Paul Kent, has also picked a fight with the entire sport of netball.

Apparently netballers don’t have tough conversations because it’s a girl’s sport…. well I’ve seen netballers down at Tingara show more toughness than the Raiders have this season.

Anyway, out of every game this week, surely this is one that’s going to have viewers on Fox League reacting like the aversion therapy scene from A Clockwork Orange:

A snapshot of Bulldogs fans having to watch their team play every week

STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT PLEASE I BEG YOU!


Cronulla Sharks (13th) vs South Sydney Rabbitohs (4th) Saturday 5:30pm AEST

Time to recycle my joke from Monday, because with Adam ‘The Brain’ Reynolds in the team, I reckon Wayne Bennett has packed something very important for the trip up to Brisbane….

THE SHARK REPELLANT BAT SPRAY


Sydney Roosters (5th) vs North Queensland Cowboys (11th), Saturday 5:45pm AEST

The only Easts player that I know of who isn’t dealing with a serious ailment right now is young Sam Walker, as he comes back to his old neck of the woods for the first time since he made his NRL debut on Easter Sunday…

The Rolling Stones’ cover of Little Red Rooster, because watch out strange Cowboy people, little red rooster’s on the prowl!

On another note, you can tell that video was filmed in the 1960s, because it’s Keith before the drugs prematurely aged him by 80 years, and Brian Jones before he discovered he wasn’t quite an Olympic swimmer.


New Zealand Warriors (8th) vs Parramatta Eels (2nd), Sunday 1:50pm AEST

After the kerfuffle about playing fringe First Graders in Reserve Grade when they weren’t supposed to, the concussion to Reed Mahoney, plus the suspensions to Marata Niukore and Dylan Brown from Friday night, the Eels were dangerously close to resembling this:

Based on the struggles of the Warriors defence last week, the Eels have got a great chance to surpass 30 points again.


Melbourne Storm (3rd) vs St George-Illawarra Dragons (6th), Sunday 4:05pm AEST

In case you didn’t see the Melbourne Storm in 2020 after they were sent on the run to the Sunshine State at the end of June, let me put this in terms of Middle Earth terminology which at least 2% of you will understand.

If AAMI Park is Mount Doom….

Then Queensland is Barad-dur.

You’ve got next to no chance playing them in either of those places.

Anyway, here’s how the game will turn out, as shown in the 1977 animated edition of The Hobbit, in which Smaug looks like the product of a cat having relations with a dragon.

Can you imagine Craig Bellamy getting coaching advice from a bird


Gold Coast Titans (7th) vs Penrith Panthers (1st), Sunday 6:25pm AEST

And to finish off this Magic Round, ladies, gentlemen and Rabbitohs fans, Mr Tom Jones!

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