Last week was the 30th anniversary of Clarke and Dawe’s The Front Fell Off, and it’s nice to see it still applies in other fields outside of tankers spilling oil….

Take today’s drama in Tokyo, when the handlebars on Alex Porter’s bike decided to commit attempted murder at 65 km/h in the Team Pursuit, in what is the cruelest piece of luck for an Australian track cyclist since Shane Kelly slipped on his pedal in Atlanta:

And now here’s a transcript of what will probably happen when the CEO of Argon Bicycles speaks up:

“That’s not very typical, I’d like to make that point.”

“Well, how is it untypical?”

“Well, there are a lot of these bikes going around the world all the time, and very seldom does anything like this happen, I just don’t want people thinking that bikes aren’t safe.”

“Was this bike safe?”

“Well I was thinking more about the other ones.”

“The ones that are safe?”

“Well, I’m not saying it wasn’t safe, it’s just perhaps not quite as safe as some of the other ones.”

“Why?”

“Well, some of them are built so the front doesn’t fall off at all.”

“Wasn’t this built so the front wouldn’t fall off?”

“Well, obviously not.”

“How do you know?”

“Well, ‘cause the front fell off!”