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Just like that, we’re on to Week 2 of the Greatest Social Bowls Competition between Manning Road and the Canning River, and not only is Jack Attack in full swing, so to is Half Price’s headcase of a greyhound Honour Rampage, who triumphantly returned to the winner’s enclosure at Cannington on Monday night under the care of new trainer May Leach:

It appears having an association with winning dishlickers is running rife through Manning Jack Attack, because Steve Withers/Team Tommy took 3 dogs down to Mandurah on Tuesday night, and all 3 of them came home winners.

The other big win of the week was the Buffed Helmets’ Carmo plucking out the Ace of Spades to win the $10,000 Chase The Ace on Friday night, which has to be the greatest win the Buffed Helmets have had in their inglorious 29 years of playing indoor cricket & bowls, which is easy to say, because apparently they haven’t had many of them:

His teammates thought it was a joke, but it’s absolutely real, so a big congratulations to you Carmo, and as noted during the presentation on Wednesday night, Carmo donated $500 of his winnings to Shane Knott’s successful World Record 30 Hour Bowls Challenge for Gotcha4Life, and we thank him very much for doing that.

I can also confirm Carmo is now going by the name of ‘Ace’, in recognition of his win.

The Corner To Corner Challenge

On one of the last cool Wednesday nights we’ll get this year, the first of this season’s Corner to Corner Challenges took place, and for the first time ever, there’s a payout for 2nd place, which stems from the extra 2 teams that have entered this season, which means more fun for everyone.

Starting with the Grass challenge, the hold and the $30 cash went to Lee from the Buffed Helmets (II), and taking advantage of the extra prize money was Fleur from Beginner’s Luck, who finished as the 2nd holder to take $20:

Over on the Synthetic green, with half the universe watching on, the hold and the $30 went to Shane from Macatac, with his distinguishable goatee:

And in for the 2nd hold and taking the $20, much to his surprise, was Alex from Jack To The Future:

Four very happy customers right there, and now it’s on to the main event:

The Overall Night

Overall, it was another highly competitive night, with 6 games going to tiebreaks, for only the third time in Manning Jack Attack history, there was a game with 2 drawn sets (Team Catalano vs Merkins), while there was the most intense finish for the money in history, with 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th all going to countbacks, although as you’ll find out, it should’ve been 5 teams going into 4.

Unfortunately, the Top Shots (Due to play Beginner’s Luck on Grass 6) were unable to play on Wednesday night due to unforeseen circumstances, but fortunately enough, Steve and the leftover Team Tommy crew stepped up and helped give them a game, and it turned out they also helped Beginner’s Luck win a bit of money, which is something their handy little greyhound has been doing for plenty of people of late.

Without any further ado, the overall winners to take the $50 cash were Ghost Riders, who defeated Howard’s End in straight sets by +10 sets on Synthetic 6, and they got the money on a countback against 2nd placed Beginner’s Luck, who also won in straight sets by +10 shots against the fill-in Top Shots, but the Ghost Riders got the overall win on an ends countback 7-6.

What a couple of weeks for the Macpherson trio – Macatac take the overall win in Week 1, and Ghost Riders win in Week 2… At this rate, Rock N Bowl are half a chance of taking out Week 3!

In 3rd Place on another ends countback were the Buffed Helmets II, who won in straight sets by +9 shots against the Bowling Stones on Grass rink 4, with 4th placed Manning Up also winning in straight sets by +9 shots against the Unbelievabowls on Synthetic 4, but Buffed Helmets II got the ends countback 7-6 to take the $20.

However, I can confirm there was a MAJOR error in counting the overall winners, because, as team manager Adam noted to this reporter, there should’ve been a 3-way count for 1st, as Rock N Bowl also recorded a +10 straight sets victory against Stop Drop & Bowl, but they were totally forgotten in the count for the money, and I’m led to believe this error occurred because Half Price can’t read his own handwriting after 2 schooners of Swan Draught.

Looking back, it appears Rock N Bowl should’ve finished 3rd and received $20, as Beginner’s Luck got them on the total shots countback 17-16, which would mean the Buffed Helmets II got $10 more than they were entitled to, and 4th placed Manning Up should’ve missed the money full stop.

Despite correct weight being declared, we will endeavour to provide some kind of compensation for Rock N Bowl.

Looking through the other results, it seems the Buffed Helmets were inspired by Carmo/Ace’s big win, starting with Lee winning the Corner to Corner on the grass, followed by the Buffed Helmets II bouncing back after copping a hiding last week, while on Grass Rink 2, the Buffed Helmets I raced out to a massive 7-0, 4-0 2nd Set lead against the Great Bowls of Fire, who were without Todd/Kochie and Paul ‘Alphabet’, and it’s disappointing to see that a mere week into his title defence, Captain Kochie has already abandoned the sinking ship.

However, a makeshift team of Jonesy, JT, and Loose Bruce’s brother Craig made an enormous comeback and sent the game into a tiebreak by winning the 2nd Set 12-5, thanks to a hold of 4 (Turned into 8) on their final end powerplay, and it looked like the Great Bowls might go all the way to victory when Craig took the jack in the tiebreak:

But, after going 2 shots down with one bowl to come, Glen ‘Scratch’ O’Brien showed why he’s good enough to play 4th Division pennants, and saved the Buffed Helmets by taking the jack out the back and holding shot to give them the points:

The word from the Great Bowls is Craig’s got your spot next week, Todd.

Going through the other tiebreak results:

As mentioned above, on Synthetic 2, Team Catalano and Merkins became just the third game in recorded Manning Jack Attack history to have two drawn sets, joining the Missing Moo’s vs Ten Pin from October 28, 2020, and the Trevor Chappells vs Young Guns from March 17 of this year – Catalano and Merkins drew the 1st Set 3-3, then they drew the 2nd Set 8-8 after a few powerplay holds, but a drive from Team Catalano’s Michael sent the jack out the back, and Enzo’s team were singing That’s Amore all night as they got their maiden Jack Attack win.

Following last week’s shootout against the Habibs, Team Tommy found themselves in another quality contest on Grass 3 against Out On Parole, with the former Lawn Clippings winning the 1st Set 4-3, but Team Tommy forced a tiebreak with a 7-5 win in the 2nd Set to get ahead 11-10 on total shots, but Out On Parole weren’t going to get taken out by the order of the Peaky Blinders this time around, and they got the job done in the tiebreak.

The Bowled Guys stayed unbeaten with a tiebreak win against Ten Pin, who were ahead 13-9 on total shots, but it was the last end powerplay in the 1st Set that kept the Bowled Guys in it, as they held 3 into 6 to win the set 8-7, and despite dropping the 2nd Set 1-6, they got the job done in the tiebreak.

Jack To The Future got over the line against Team Pamba, despite getting dumped by 6 shots overall, which came about when Jack To The Future won the 1st Set 6-2, but Team Pamba roared back with a 10-0 2nd Set shutout, but they couldn’t complete the job, as Jack To The Future got the tiebreak hold, but their for/against took another hit down low.

And finally, next to the fabled MV Wholesale sign, the Habibs took on last week’s overall winners Macatac, and once again, it wasn’t a dull night with John and Abes, as Macatac took the 1st Set 8-2, before the Habibs nearly took an eye for an eye and won the 2nd Set 8-3, and in the tiebreak, Nick from the Habibs would prove the match winner, as the major sponsors stayed unbeaten.

Completing the results, Verse 1 got their first win, and they were very unlucky to miss out on the money, thumping the short-handed Crawshaw residents in straight sets by +8 shots, as Crawshaw suffered a series of calamities, starting with Graeme being caught in quarantine coming back from Darwin, Kym was busy, Malcolm was getting his photo taken at a footy club function, and their strategy of using the same-coloured bowls as Verse 1 to try and put them off predictably backfired.

And finally, a big congratulations to The Lenny’s, who are now on top of the ladder, and they’re the only team to win all four sets they’ve played thus far, thanks to dispatching the CD’s on Grass 1, and word is the Aquinas mums are dirty that Half Price put them on the grass, having apparently bribed him last season to have all their games on the Synthetic rinks.

Cash bribes only, ladies.

So all of those results mean that all 26 teams have won at least 1 set through the opening 2 weeks, only 5 teams have won both their games, and once again, a congratulations to all the teams who got their first wins of the season this week.

Results

Scoring – 2 points for a set win, 1 point for a tied set, 1 for a tiebreak win, tiebreaks aren’t counted in score differential

Grass 1: The Lenny’s (4pts +3) defeated The CD’s, 7-6, 4-2

Grass 2: Buffed Helmets I (3pts 0) defeated Great Bowls of Fire (2pts, 0), 7-0, 5-12, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Grass 3: Out On Parole (3pts -1) defeated Team Tommy (2pts, +1), 4-3, 5-7, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Grass 4: Buffed Helmets II (4pts +9), defeated Bowling Stones, 9-1, 5-4

Grass 5: Verse 1 (4pts +8) defeated Crawshaw Crisis Committee, 5-3, 7-1

Grass 6: Beginner’s Luck (4pts +10) defeated Top Shots, 5-1, 12-6

Synthetic 1: Jack to the Future (3pts -6) defeated Team Pamba (2pts, +6), 6-2, 0-10, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 2: Team Catalano (3pts 0) defeated Merkins (2pts, 0), 3-3, 8-8, 2-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 3: Rock N Bowl (4pts +10) defeated Stop Drop & Bowl, 6-5, 10-1

Synthetic 4: Manning Up (4pts +9) defeated Unbelievabowls, 5-4, 10-2

Synthetic 5: Habibs (3pts -1) defeated Macatac (2pts +1), 2-8, 8-3, 2-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 6: Ghost Riders (4pts +10) defeated Howards End, 9-0, 6-5

Synthetic 7: Bowled Guys (3pts -4) defeated Ten Pin (2pts +4), 8-7, 1-6, 2-0 in the tiebreak

Captain’s Comments

Nat, CD’s: “We’ve got a problem – We paid off Pricey last season so we wouldn’t have to play a game on the grass… Obviously we need to renegotiate – What the hell Pricey!”

All I’ll say ladies… cash bribes only.

Decca, CCC: “We were going alright until Malcolm turned up…. He was getting his photo taken for a footy club function, he’s a lobster, not a rockstar!”

Bruce, Bowled Guys: “It was a good game, we were sort of up down, Reed bowled on the wrong bias in the roll-up and the tiebreak, but we got there in the tiebreak, thank god!”

Shane, Macatac: “This winning is not what it’s cracked up to be!”

Adam, Team Manager of Ghost Riders/Rock N Bowl: “Ghost Riders have won the money this week, Macatac last week… It’s got to be Rock N Bowl’s chance to win next week… hopefully.”

John, Manning Up: “There was some allegations of vicious, inhumane sledging, which affected Brent quite badly, and he wound up bowling too wide on the last end…. Actually, Brent said he had a theory about what might happen tonight, but I told him he wasn’t smart enough to have a theory.”

Michael, Team Catalano: “We won on the last bowl of the tiebreak, I smashed the jack into the ditch, and I smashed the collective bottom lip of our opposition down there to boot.”

“We taught the Merkins that drinking 4 jugs while bowling is the better strategy.”

Ronni, Mick, Sally, Verse 1: “Decca says he doesn’t like having red bowls – Still, It was a great night, Crawshaw were such fun people to play with – Good sports and good company.”

Cheese, Buffed Helmets: “A pretty good night all round – Lee won the $30 from the Corner to Corner, Buffed Helmets II got $20, Carmo got 10 grand last Friday, so add it all up, we’re well up!”

Lee, Buffed Helmets II: “It was a good night, consistent bowls from all of us, we jumped out to a flyer in the 1st Set, but the Bowling Stones came good late on the short ends, but we got them on the last end… The comment of the night from the Stones was when one of them shouted out ‘These guys can kiss my grass!’ after bowling a great one.”

Carmo, aka Ace, Buffed Helmets II: “Scotty Jordan (Absent tonight and for their upcoming farm trip) was a late scratching, so he’s now a bigger odds on favourite than Winx to cement his spot at the 2022 skipper for the Buffed Helmets.”

Ladder

Some photos from the night

Lee and Fleur’s winning bowls from the Grass Corner to Corner:

The Ghost Riders vs Howard’s End:

The grass rinks getting underway.

Forensic measurements between Jack To The Future and Team Pamba:

The skips monitoring the Synthetic rinks… you can see John from Manning Up and Shane from Macatac:

The grass rinks in action – Out On Parole are just about to hit Team Tommy’s holder, Buffed Helmets II are taking on the Bowling Stones next door, and you can see Beginner’s Luck taking on the Team Tommy Top Shots.

And finally, here’s Glen preparing to bowl the winning shot for the Buffed Helmets I: