Lawn Bowls

Manning Jack Attack Review: 24th November

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Loose Bruce, study of concentration while everyone else measures

With summer now only a week away, Week 3 and the official halfway mark of the Manning Jack Attack season was upon us, and thankfully we got an absolute treat with the weather after a 28 degree day, and with this being the third to last game prior to the finals, trying to pick the Top 4 come the end of Week 5 is harder to pick than the proverbial broken nose, because there’s still 18 teams who could still finish in the Top 2, so you’ll be hard-pressed to see any tanking for draft picks and easier opponents, although you could see quite a few fixture requests in Weeks 4 and 5.

Imagine that, an 18 team convoy…. It’s a greater convoy than the convoy from the film Convoy:

10-4 Pig Pen, for sure, for sure.

One final note before the night began is that Half Price has corrected the error from last week’s overall results, which saw Rock N Bowl overlooked from the money altogether when they should’ve finished 3rd on won $20, well, I can confirm Rock N Bowl have now had their moment in the sun and received their money…..

Even then, said moment in the sun was also somewhat spoiled because of my giant shadow (Accidentally) getting too close while taking the photo.

Cam, Belinda, and stuck behind the shadow, Shaye

Bloody typical of me.

The Overall Night

Major sponsor Johnny having a bit of fun with the Habibs… at least before the tiebreak started

With no Corner To Corner until next week, teams could have a bit more practice time prior to the 6:30 commencement of play, and judging by the results, it meant there wasn’t much middle ground, with teams either winning in straight sets or going to tiebreaks, as shown by 7 teams taking all 4 points, the most of any week thus far, and 6 games going to tiebreaks.

The overall winners of the night were The CD’s, bouncing straight back into form on the trusty Synthetic with a straight sets +13 shot win against Beginner’s Luck to take the $50 cash, and it was a very trying win for the ladies, with Natalie unavailable after suddenly pulling a heart muscle, which meant Helen, who was in no fit state to bowl after a facial operation, had to play, but that was all balanced out by Kelly bringing back the coveted CDs t-shirt to inspire a big team effort from Marg & Helen.

In 2nd place overall to take the $30 cash were Verse 1, with a straight sets +10 shot win against a fill-in team representing Howard’s End, who were unable to play on Wednesday night due to team captain Steve unfortunately breaking his ankle earlier this week (All the best Steve) and being unable to get a team together, so the ever-helpful Adam Macpherson (2nd Division Saturday pennants player) was kind enough to fill in and give Verse 1 a game, plus a coaching lesson, and it seems a fun time was had by all on Grass Rink 2, with Verse 1 going up into the Top 4 on the ladder.

Still, anyone who was at the MBC on Wednesday night would tell you Adam wasn’t even the biggest help from his own family, because that title went to his young daughter Indi (aka Indi Mac), who was out fetching glasses for Theresa all night, plus several other things, and young Indi now holds the title of ‘Best Glass Collector This Side of Manning Road.’

After last week’s controversy, the countback system got another workout for 3rd and 4th place, with Manning Up and Team Tommy both winning in straight sets by +8 shots, but the bronze medal position would go to Manning Up 7-5 on the ends countback, with John’s team defeating Rock N Bowl out on Grass 6:

Brent telling John where to bowl after Rock N Bowl went the drive

While Team Tommy finally got to stretch their legs after a tough opening fortnight, defeating Team Catalano on Grass 3 to break their Jack Attack maiden status, and I overheard a comment from Team Catalano as a flock of galahs flew past… “Even the galahs are laughing at us.”

The big result of Wednesday night is that The Lenny’s have been dethroned at the top of the ladder, after a tough straight sets defeat at the hands of Macatac on Synthetic 7, and Macatac have reassumed top spot by becoming the first team to reach 10 points, and showing how cutthroat of a competition Manning Jack Attack has become, The Lenny’s are now down in 7th, despite only going down by 3 shots on variance.

Fun fact, there were 6 games with tiebreaks that were quicker than Macatac vs The Lenny’s

Looking at some other key results, Macatac’s sibling team the Ghost Riders have gone up into 2nd place thanks to a tiebreak win against the Habibs, who went for at least 4 drives in that tiebreak, and missed the lot every time.

A proper photo of Abes firing a rocket so hard he moved the mat

With Glen practicing for an hour before play, the Buffed Helmets I got the job done in a tiebreak against the Bowled Guys on Synthetic 1, thanks to salvaging the 2nd Set on a final end powerplay to turn 2 into 4 to win the set 6-4, but with results going their way and the variance being tied 9-9, the Bowled Guys remain in 3rd place on the ladder.

Over on Grass Rink 1, Team Pamba are up into 5th place after accomplishing what very few teams have done, and that’s defeat the always tough Ten Pin in straight sets, and it seems the key was that team manager Shirley didn’t have to take a phone call during the game.

In a crunch match on Synthetic 6, Jack To The Future got the job done in a tiebreak against Out On Parole, who suffered their first defeat since the name change from the Lawn Clippings, although Alex’s team of time travellers will have to do a bit of work on their shot variance, which is now down to -20 after they dropped the 2nd Set 9-1, but I’d say that’s a case of losing the battle and winning the war, because they’re on 7 points.

Meantime, it looked like it was all over in the tiebreak on Grass Rink 5, when the Crawshaw residents were holding 4 in the tiebreak, as just about every player succumbed to the pressure of the one end shootout, but Stop Drop & Bowl just had to plant one in the head to win it, and it was a deadset beauty:

The Top Shots returned after a personal matter last Wednesday night, although Gerry was unable to bowl due to injury, but they triumphantly got themselves off the bottom of the ladder with a tiebreak win against the Unbelievabowls on Synthetic 2, with the Unbelievabowls now having lost 2 tiebreaks in their first 3 games… Sorry to remind you, Barbara.

There was nothing in it on Synthetic 3 (aka TV Rinkside) between the Merkins and the Bowling Stones, with both sets decided by 1 shot margins… Still, bowls is a funny old game, and the Merkins won both sets, despite not holding shot on either of their powerplays, and amazingly, the Bowling Stones are now 2nd last on the ladder, despite their variance being a mere -3 shots.

Finishing off the results for Week 3 with the rollercoaster on Synthetic 4, the Great Bowls of Fire (With Kochie and Paul Alphabet back in the team) suffered a severe case of what the French would call déjà vu, as they were done on the last shot of the tiebreak against the Buffed Helmets II, in a game that had frightening similarities to their Week 2 game against the Buffed Helmets I.

The Buffed Helmets I & II won the 1st Set in a shutout (7-0 & 9-0), then the Great Bowls roared back to win the 2nd Set in a blowout to even up the variance (12-5 & 14-4), then the Great Bowls were holding shot coming down to the last bowl of the tiebreak… But both times, the Buffed Helmets snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.


Scoring – 2 points for a set win, 1 point for a tied set, 1 for a tiebreak win, tiebreaks aren’t counted in score differential

Grass 1: Team Pamba (4pts +5) defeated Ten Pin, 7-3, 6-5

Grass 2: Verse 1 (4pts +10) defeated Howards End, 8-4, 11-5

Grass 3: Team Tommy (4pts +8) defeated Team Catalano, 10-4, 6-4

Grass 4: Stop Drop & Bowl (3pts -4) defeated Crawshaw CC (2pts +4), 6-3, 9-2, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Grass 5: Ghost Riders (3pts +3) defeated Habibs (2pts -3), 8-2, 1-4, 2-0 in the tiebreak

Grass 6: Manning Up (4pts +8) defeated Rock N Bowl, 6-1, 5-2

Synthetic 1: Buffed Helmets I (3pts 0) defeated Bowled Guys (2pts 0), 3-5, 6-4, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 2: Top Shots (3pts -1) defeated Unbelievabowls (2pts +1), 4-7, 4-2, 3-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 3: Merkins (4pts +2) defeated Bowling Stones, 6-5, 4-3

Synthetic 4: Buffed Helmets II (3pts -1) defeated Great Bowls of Fire (2pts +1), 9-0, 4-14, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 5: CD’s (4pts +13) defeated Beginner’s Luck, 11-4, 8-2

Synthetic 6: Jack To The Future (3pts -7) defeated Out on Parole (2pts +7), 3-2, 1-9, 1-0 in the tiebreak

Synthetic 7: Macatac (4pts +3) defeated The Lenny’s, 7-5, 6-5

Captain’s Comments

Alex, Jack to the Future: “Fantastic 1st Set by both teams, a real arm wrestle, 2nd Set we won’t talk about, but we came good in the tiebreak – The big change was that we implemented an honesty system and made people sub out after a bad end, and it worked, because they were subbing themselves off out of shame.”

“By the way, everyone owes us for knocking off one of the top teams.”.

On that note, Out On Parole went from 8th to 8th on Wednesday night.

Glen, Buffed Helmets I: “We were a few players down tonight – Cheese hurt his back after a big weekend at the farm, so he’s at home resting up, while Crowder is also at home with his missus, although he claims to be at work.”

“In the game, Fuzzy picked up a couple of drinks vouchers, then he put one down on the wrong bias… He then used one of the vouchers to scull one down for bowling on the wrong bias.”

Scotty, Buffed Helmets II: “On the 1st End, we walked down with Carmo, and clearly we had the hold, but we didn’t know if we had 2nd shot, so I asked Carmo do you think we’re winning, and he replied ‘Yep’ and kicked it away before the Great Bowls could even check.”

“Then in the tiebreak I won it on the last bowl while Carmo had apparently gone to the toilet, then he came back and spent the next half hour drinking red thinking we’d lost – Fine form from him!”

Carmo, Buffed Helmets II: “I wasn’t in the toilet, I was putting a few bowls away, and Scotty showed why he’s 2022 leadership material, winning the game off his own hand… the TAB have already paid out on him taking the captaincy.”

Kelly, CD’s: “I finally dug out the CDs shirt and look what happens… The 3 of us all came to the party and contributed to the score, and I should say Helen is a trooper, fronting up after we were a woman down (Nat was unavaliable), despite having an operation… A great performance.”

Decca & Malcolm, Crawshaw: “Pete screwed up both Powerplays, we didn’t hold anything on either of them, although Kym wasn’t here, so we blame him.”

Belinda, Rock N Bowl: “We had to get the tape measure out 3 times tonight, but Manning Up got it every time, just too good for us.”

The Ghost Riders: “The Ghost Riders have smoked the sponsors.”

Bruce, Bowled Guys: “It was a shot for shot game, nothing in it, they got us in the tiebreak, and I think playing on Rink 1 did mess with our heads – Jamie hit the ground a few times when he was bowling, Reed was off, but we only just went down.”

John, Manning Up: “We’re in shock, and clearly from the response we got when we collected the money, so was everyone else – It was a good night, great competition, 2 weeks in a row we’ve had fun games, and that’s what it’s all about.”


A few photos from the night

Bowls at Dawn… Or is it dusk:

The Synthetic rinks going at it on End 2 of the 1st Set.

The Grass rinks getting underway:

This is how close Ten Pin came to getting a drinks voucher…. I’d blown the whistle for the next toucher 2 minutes earlier.

Team Tommy going for the measure…. They got 2 on this end.

Notice the blue bowl on Rink 3…. That was Roy, captain of the Merkins, who dished out that perfect shot on the Bowling Stones:

Jack To The Future and Out On Parole inspecting the damage:

The Top Shots and Unbelievabowls in the 2nd Set, with Gordon walking past – You can also the Merkins vs the Bowling Stones next door:

And finally, here’s Mick pondering about something… Probably how he’s going to spend the $30 that Verse 1 took home for finishing 2nd.

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