While the Northern hemisphere shivers their collective arse off during yet another harsh winter, over here in Perth, the monument to man’s arrogance, we’ve endured the warmest Christmas day in our lofty history, apparently smashing some kind of record of 42 degrees Celsius set in 1968, and I’ve got proof it was as utterly brutal as I’m claiming:

“It’s official – Perth has sweltered through its hottest Christmas on record.”

“Temperatures reached a whopping 42.9C at Perth Airport at 4pm, blitzing the previous Christmas Day record of 42C set in 1968.”

“The hottest temperature recorded in WA was 45.6C at Lancelin at 1.47pm.”

“And Marble Bar was once again one of the hottest parts of the State, reaching a sweltering 43.5C at 3.29pm.”

Good lord, you know it’s hot when Marble bloody Bar, average temperature 47, isn’t the hottest part of the entire planet.

Well, there’s only two known ways to solve a heatwave this bad, so enjoy your evening, WA style:

Oh, and did I mention the Boxing Day forecast for Perth?

It’s going to be a brutal couple of days….

If you’re a beer in my fridge.