So it’s the first day of the shortest month of the year, Chinese New Year has begun, and this year it’s the Year of the TIGER.

That’s funny, I thought the Year of the Tiger was 2017, 2019 and 2020.

Anyway, starting off the month with my random historical fact, today is exactly 58 years since The Beatles has their first No.1 song on the US Billboard Hot 100 with ‘I Want To Hold Your Hand’, which stayed in the No.1 spot for 7 weeks, heralding the beginning of Beatlemania in the United States.

More pertinent to Australia, on the retrospective Kent Music charts, I Want To Hold Your Hand had already hit No.1 in Australia in the very last week of 1963 (December 28), where it also stayed for 7 weeks.

In fact, between December 28 and June 6, The Beatles held the No.1 spot on the Australian charts, with the very song to displace them on June 13 being My Guy by Mary Wells.

Travelling even further through the looking glass, that change at No.1 ironically came while The Beatles were performing in Adelaide (with Jimmie Nicol in place of Ringo), in what would be their only tour of Australia.

If you’re unaware or don’t care, Australia’s Chef de Mission in Beijing for the Winter Olympics is Geoff Lipshut

You’d think with a surname like that, he wouldn’t be speaking to the media too often.

A COINCIDENCE from the Australian Open Men’s Singles Final

In 1965, Roy Emerson came from 2 sets down to defeat Fred Stolle in the Men’s Singles Final of the Australian Championships.

Melbourne was the reigning VFL premier.

In 2022, Rafael Nadal became the first player since Emerson to come from 2 sets down in an Australian Championship/Australian Open Final.

The reigning AFL premier?

Melbourne.

I found there was a lovely bit of symmetry in the Men’s Doubles trophy ceremony

Nick Kyrgios and Thanasi Kokkinakis received the winners’ trophy from esquires Mark Woodforde and Todd Woodbridge, better known as The Woodies, who up until Saturday night were the last all-Australian pairing to win the AO Men’s Doubles title back in 1997.

Another nice fact from that final: When you count their 2013 Wimbledon Boy’s Doubles title victory, ‘Special K’ became the first 21st Century doubles pairing to win a Boy’s Doubles Grand Slam title and a Men’s Doubles Grand Slam title together.

Prior to Kyrgios and Kokkinakis, the last pairing to win a Boy’s Doubles Grand Slam title and a Men’s Doubles Grand Slam title together was a certain twin pairing of Bob and Mike Bryan, who won the 1996 US Open Boy’s Doubles, before they won 16 Grand Slam titles together (Plus pretty much every other tour event and the Olympics), and ultimately surpassed The Woodies as the most successful men’s doubles pairing in the history of professional tennis.

The last time Roger Federer didn’t at least have a share of the lead in the most Grand Slam men’s singles titles leaderboard was prior to the 2009 French Open

Back then, the leaderboard looked like this:

14 – Pete Sampras

13 – Roger Federer

12 – Roy Emerson

11 – Bjorn Borg and Rod Laver

10 – Bill Tilden

8 – Fred Perry, Ken Rosewall, Jimmy Connors, Ivan Lendl, Andre Agassi

If you can remember back that far, Pete Sampras had taken the lead outright from Emerson after defeating Pat Rafter in the 2000 Wimbledon final, before retiring after winning his 14th and final major title at the 2002 US Open.

As fate would have it, during that French Open, Nadal’s original run at Roland Garros would end at the hands of Robin Soderling, and with the biggest roadblock in history gone, Federer would go on to complete his Career Grand Slam and equal Sampras on 14, before taking the lead outright when he defeated Andy Roddick in the Wimbledon final a few weeks later.

Further proof that Wikipedia is a reliable source of information

As I’ve learned, the one-time NRL games record holder, Queensland captain and Brisbane Broncos great Darren Lockyer is a highly successful women’s tennis coach:

Coincidentally, guess who popped up on Channel 9’s coverage on Sunday evening:

To be honest, the only things I’d want Darren Lockyer to coach me in are rugbaleeg, and where to get decent hair plugs.

Comparing the endings of Ashes Tests

Here’s the final ball of the 4th Test in Sydney, as England held on by the hairs on their chinny chin-chins for a draw:

And the last ball of the Women’s Ashes Test in Canberra, as England went from having a huge shot at an almighty Test victory against Australia in Australia, only for Australia’s fielding to leave them facing this familiar scene:

The last day of the Women’s Ashes Test has already begged the two-fold question as to why Women don’t play more Test matches, and why the hell are they only playing 4 days, because the final day of that Test was sensational.

Then again, I suppose you’d have to reach for the stars to find a better Women’s Test than the Canberra test was, and that was with the rain wiping out Day 3.

My thoughts during the Big Bash Final, which were probably the thoughts of every Scorchers fan to boot

When the Scorchers were 4/25:

“The Big Bash is just a crap meme league anyway”

Two hours later:

“YEAHHHH GET SCORCHED YA SYDNEY BASTARDS, 4-TIME CHAMPS, WBBL AND BBL DOUBLE!”

Most people get a kiss from a significant other when they win something, but Jhye Richardson got a Liverpool Kiss from Colin Munro while the Scorchers celebrated the BBL title

And the last time I checked, Colin Munro isn’t even from Liverpool:

The Justin Langer kerfuffle

Prove me wrong – If Justin Lee Langer was from New South Wales, he’d have been re-signed after winning the T20 World Cup, let alone a 4-0 regulation Ashes victory at home.

Only Cricket Australia could turn a simple contract renewal with a guy that steered them from sticking sandpaper on their nuts to a maiden T20 World Cup, into the biggest circus since Cirque Du Soleil performed The Beatles.

To me, it just shows the discrimination that Newman College graduates face when going for what few jobs that they’re actually qualified for.

If the 49ers had won the NFC Championship, Mitch Wishnowsky coulda woulda shoulda been the first Australian to play in 2 Super Bowls

But if my Aunty had balls, she’d be my uncle, so he’s sitting alongside Ben Graham on 1, and the LA Rams are playing the Cincinatti Bengals, who up until New Years Day hadn’t won a playoff game since the Soviet Union existed.

In fact, this Super Bowl will be historic, because not only will it be the Rams playing the game in their own stadium, but it’ll be the first time the Bengals will play in a Super Bowl without having to worry about Joe Montana ripping their hearts out.

The Thursday 5th Division Pennants Update for Week 12 is decadent and depraved

To put it as bluntly as a knife against a whetstone, our visit to Kardinya was utterly shithouse, although I did get to experience their coveted undercover greens for the first time, which they spent approximately $120,000 to make possible.

What a great relief to have on a warm day, top notch work to the club on that front, and I think the reason they afforded such a feature is because they sell so many cans of beer – $4 a can, if you can believe it,

So that was the good side of the trip down the Kwinana Freeway, because I should’ve known it was going to be a crap one when they played Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport on the loudspeaker during the roll-up, because we got our collective arse whipped big time, losing all 3 rinks and 80-49 overall, with one rink losing by an agonising 23-22, while my team, which had 2 players ripped out of the lineup due to the rubbery rotation policy, was well and truly out of it by the halfway mark on our way to a 32-10 defeat, as we were subject to death by a thousand short ends.

And yes, it was grizzly:

Actually, that last one was caused by me being a smart arse and trying to get around a Kardinya front bowl….. Only to smack it on to the jack to give away 1.

Still, do you want to know the funny part about that 32-10 scoreline?

We held a 6 on the 16th end.

Out of the final 15 ends, I’m pretty sure that was the only end we held.

I should also note we had one of the Thursday selectors in our team, so it’s a wonder I haven’t been punched into the bankers this week….

My only saving grace turned out to be the fact that we’ve got so many absentees this week, 10% of which are absent due to being anti-vaxxers/mandators against the double dose mandate from Bowls WA.

Now, what else did I forget…

Ah, that’s right, here’s some Numerology from the far rink:

“When I was seventeeeeeeeeeeeeeeen…..”

In case you missed what happened at Vic Park Carlisle Bowling Club last week, let’s just say they’re not fans of football anymore

The GoFundMe is fairly explanatory

“On the evening of January 26th 2022, vandals came in and hosted an illegal soccer game, causing severe damage to the main bowling green (Studs, of course).”

“As those who play bowls know, maintaining healthy, even greens is an integral part of the game, and the destruction has resulted in the club having to close off the main green for at least 2 to 3 months.”

“This means they may be unable to accommodate Men’s and Ladies Pennants or barefoot bowls and will severely impact the club as they are the main source of income. The cost of repairing the green has been quoted at $25,000 and this plus the lost revenue from the bar would be devastating to a small community club that prides itself on providing affordable access to everyone.”

For the record, the match finished in a 0-0 draw.

“Have you tried turning it off and on again?”

Off Topic: Turns out this was an omen for the Jayhawks against Kentucky

For the record, the Wildcats won 80-62 in Lawrence, on what was a terrible day for teams related to Kansas, as the Chiefs blew a 21-3 lead in Kansas City against the Bengals.

The Oxford English Dictionary has branched out into shot glasses

That’s funny, the last time I suffered from verbal diarrhoea, it felt more like actual diarrhoea….

Was it just sheer coincidence that a film called ‘Belfast’, set during the height of The Troubles, was released a week either side of the 50th anniversary of Bloody Sunday

OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED JOE INGLES!

YOU BASTARDS!

And finally, the BBC confirm we all need a good Monday snort

If you’re a lawyer, every day’s a Monday when it comes to having a snort.