To set the scene, here’s the morning news dump:

And later that morning, a scene that even Helen Keller saw coming:

And in light of that statement and photo of a 3-time Adelaide AFLW premiership player and club legend in a Port guernsey, let’s now cross to a live shot of the Crows’ headquarters at Football Park:

Yes, some imaginary Crows fans with heavy French accents are clearly upset at today’s news, not so much that Erin left, because everyone knew she was leaving after the Grand Final win, but more the fact that she left for the Crows’ eternal rivals…

Despite the fact Erin herself committed to being Port Adelaide’s inaugural AFLW player a full 6 years ago, before the AFLW had even started, just so she could follow in dad Greg Phillips’ footsteps.

My imaginary sources have also told me the unhappy fans did try and burn the Footy Park grandstands down, but if you’ve seen Wests Lakes of late, you’d know the club were smart enough to knock them all down 4 years ago, which actually improved the look of the place.