Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

So friends and strangers, it is the last Saturday of June, Channel 10 won’t broadcast the Melbourne Cup from 2024 (Thank buggery), and 111 years on from defying its unsinkable reputation, the Titanic is still making people drown, and it didn’t even take Clive Palmer building that replica to do it.

Fair dinkum, you can pay $250,000 to drown looking for Leonardo DiCaprio’s corpse amidst a monument to man’s arrogance, or pay nothing to drown in a swimming pool named after Harold Holt.

Either way, you’d be remembered rather fondly.

So with Royal Ascot raging on and King Charles owning a winner, while the Aussies go as poorly as a private submarine tour, we have arrived at the last Group 1 of the calendar season, the Tatts Tiara at Eagle Farm, and another highlight of the Eagle Farm card is the annual Battle of the Bush, which used to be extremely popular with Bushrangers, until Ned Kelly got caught at Glenrowan.

On another note, we also have the first meeting at Caulfield for 2023 after the post-Spring track renovations were finally completed, so pretty much everyone is flying blind when it comes to track condition at The Heath, and other than that, slightly boring major races include the Civic Stakes at Randwick, and the Rogan Josh Stakes at Belmont, which sounds appealing given it is named after a Mackinnon Stakes + Melbourne Cup winner, although you’d be surprised to find it’s only a 72+ rating race.

An insult to Josh’s legend as the last WA-bred horse to win the Cup.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and after his 3/3 performance a fortnight, I mentioned last Friday that there was every chance Craig could get absolutely nothing, and that’s what he got…

Well, I suppose that’s note entirely true, because he did get Teewaters to place….

And, he still has his GOOD LUCK CHARM!

P(r)ick No.1: Ekaterina (No.1, Barrier 6) in Race 2 at Eagle Farm (BR2), 12:18pm AEST

1200m 3YO Fillies Edward Street Brisbane Plate

Trainer: Robert Heathcote, Jockey: Tim Clark, 56.5kg

Hello hello everyone, Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, reporting in on my road trip to Melbourne as I go to see my mate Geoffrey this weekend, and once upon a time I was supposed to go and see him in Shepparton a few years ago, but I decided I wasn’t going to and disconnected my phone…

A few days later, Geoffrey called me up and said…

“Where are ya, ya ****in’ lunatic!”

Needless to say, he wasn’t HAPPY, JAN!

Anyway, something that would make myself and Geoffrey happy this weekend is finding a winner, and we might just find it in the second race at Eagle Farm on Tiara day, with a horse who is currently the second favourite against the favourite Chinny Boom, and how many times does that end up being the right way to play…

To be honest I don’t know, that’s why I was asking!

Anyway, I think Ekaterina, the Russian from Russia, sired by Russian Revolution, is the one to go, and to be honest, if you’re gonna be sired by Russian Revolution, why not get named after something that everyone can hum along to…

Like RASPUTIN!

P(r)ick No.2: Iowna Merc (No.2, Barrier 5) in Race 9 at Randwick (SR9), 3:45pm AEST

1100m BM78 Furphy Handicap

Trainer: Bjorn Baker, Jockey: Amy McLucas (A3.0), 61kg down to 58

Well folks, we’ve got a horse who owns a Mercedes-Benz, with wins in 4 out of 7 starts to go with 2 runner-up finishes, drawn to get the gun run from Barrier 5, the unknown apprentice jumps aboard with the 3-kilo to alleviate the 61 kilo impost, and in fact, Amy McLucas is so unknown, her own parents have to look her up on Facebook.

So in conclusion, I can only say 4 memorable words that were uttered by several people in a submarine…

WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

P(r)ick No.3: Colossal (No.11, Barrier 5) in Race 8 at Belmont (PR8), 4:15pm AWST

1000m 66+ Rating Morley Market Growers Handicap

Trainers: Grant & Alana Williams, Jockey: William Pike, 54kg

Well knackers, in the last one I said 4 words, and this time, there’s only one thing I need to say….

And my forecast for Eagle Farm for the Tatts Tiara… a Chain Of Lightning strikes around about 3:17pm!

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, GAMBLE WITHIN REASON, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!