Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

The Matildas have let the country down in fine style, so in the meantime I must find something in the warm-up for the Bronze Medal against Sweden that doesn’t involve a mention of the Swedish Chef:

BORK BORK BORK!

Alas it won’t be The Muppets, it will have to be something from the weekend to feature the first Group 1 of the new season, the Winx Stakes, the former Warwick Stakes at Warwick Farm, but now one of the many races given a questionable Group 1 status…

We can name a Group 1 after Winx, but we can’t name a Group 1 after Phar Lap.

Moving on, some other decent races on the card include the Broome Cup at the most picturesque racecourse in Australia:

The Group 2 Silver Shadow Stakes at Randwick, a race that serves as Ken Callander’s worst nightmare, and another Group 2 is Caulfield hosting the P.B. Lawrence Stakes, which is typically a lead-in to the Melbourne Spring Carnival, as we get a great mix of WFA horses and stayers getting ready to go up in distance in the months ahead.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and somehow, some way, despite his first runner finishing near enough to last, he wound up with a winner last week thanks to Phanta winning at Belmont, not that any of us actually bothered to see it because we were wetting ourselves watching the Matildas fail to score until the penalty shootout..

In fact, I think the Matildas won that shootout thanks to Crazy Craig’s GOOD LUCK CHARM.

The Prince William P(r)ick: Kingsheir (No.4, Barrier 3) E/W in Race 4 at Randwick (SR4), 1:20pm AEST

1600m BM78 Toyota Forklifts Handicap

Trainer: Kim Waugh, Jockey: Nash Rawiller, 59kg

Hello hello everyone it’s Craaaaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, bringing in the winner (No plural intended) one week at a time, as I make it some 3 Saturdays in a row with a reasonably priced winner!

How crazy is that!

Anyway, this week is a new week, and as far as new weeks come you don’t get many bigger than a Group 1 weekend, unless it’s a Group 1 weekend with multiple Group 1s on the same day, and I best start off with the location of the Winx Stakes in Royal Randwick, but am I bothering to look at the Group 1 Winx Stakes?

NO!

BECAUSE I’M A FRUITLOOP!

That said, I’ve gone to a little bit earlier in the card, where I’ve decided to be a bit wreckless, James Reyne style, and taken one at the odds, because every now and then in life you need to take the odds, and in Race 4 there’s a horse called Kingsheir, who could be named after Prince Willy, and I give you three reasons:

1. He’s 3rd Up and ready to rumble at the mile
2. He’s had two shithouse barrier draws in his previous two starts, drawing 9 of 10 both times to leave him chasing tail from the odd, this time around he’s drawn Barrier 3 with Nash Rawiller aboard, which means he can go forward…
3. And I’m not all there, don’t you worry about that!

And one last thing knackers, that I’ve noticed about this field that screams royalty…

We’ve got Kingsheir against Queenmaker!

The Simon & Garfunkel P(r)ick: Bound For Home (No.1, Barrier 5) E/W in Race 4 at Caulfield (MR4), 1:35pm AEST

1100m BM84 Senet Gambling Law Experts Handicap

Trainer: Archie Alexander, Jockey: Celine Gaudray (a2), 59.5kg

No idea about the horse, but I know that unlike Paul and Art it’s not Homeward Bound, it’s BOUND FOR HOME!

Bound For Home
I wish I was
Bound For Home
Home, where my thought’s escaping
Home, where my music’s playing
Home, where my love lies waiting
Silently for me!

P(r)ick No.3: Aztec Ruler (No.5, Barrer 7) in Race 7 at Belmont (PR7), 3:45pm AWST

1400m 72+ Rating Quayclean Handicap

Trainer: Stefan Vahala, Jockey: Brad Parnham, 54.5kg

3rd Up, always around the mark, the track scheduled to be heavier than France 1917, so all I can is what can go wrong for Aztec Ruler, and since I need to somehow link a joke to the name, you know who was an Aztec Ruler?

BILLY THORPE!

Because it was Billy Thorpe and The Aztecs, and did you know they performed what was once my theme song!

Most people I know, think that I’m CRAAAAAAAAZY…. Craig!

Crazy Winx Stakes Pick: Fangirl E/W

Enjoy your Saturday folks, stay safe, stay negative, GAMBLE WITHIN REASON, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!