Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Ah, October is here, Bathurst is here, I will keep forgetting that there’s now an extra hour between the decadent southern states and the rest of us, but alas we move on to Turnbull Stakes Day, featuring the first Australian run of the Cox Plate favourite Romantic Warrior, currently rated the 10th-best horse in the world, meaning he’s just good enough to crack a Benchmark 64 field at Tuncurry.

Another highlight of the Flemington card will be the running of the Bart Cummings, which carries ballot exemption for the Melbourne Cup in exactly one month’s time, plus the Group 2 Danehill, the Edward Manifold, the Rose of Kingston, and the Gilgai Stakes.

Rosehill also plays host to the Group 2 Hill Stakes, with just one week to go until The Everest and just one slot (Yulong Investments) still to be decided this weekend, and other races include the Queensland Cup at Eagle Farm, although the locals will also manage to lose that to Penrith, plus the Murray Bridge Gold Cup, while the country races are pouring out, with the Gunbower Gold Cup, the Murtoa Cup and a race I have mentioned previously…

THE MOORA CUP…. How do you like it, how do you like it!

Another highlight of the day is the great Kalgoorlie Cup, which will be a highlight of the year in the Goldfields, just surpassing when Channel Nine showed reruns of Kalgoorlie Cops during the rain delays in the 1st Ashes Test.

If you’ve never seen Kalgoorlie Cops, I’ll simply say it’s Police Ten 7 on steroids.

And that was Kalgoorlie before Merv Roberts moved there.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and just to cap off what turned out to be a horror weekend for Queensland sport, Crazy Craig managed to land one more winner than they did (Regal Pom), and to cap it off, he managed to find that winner at EAGLE FARM.

The shame, the shame… Still, it goes to show the power of a GOOD LUCK CHARM!

P(r)ick No.1: Riff Rocket (No.6, Barrier 1) in Race 3 at Flemington (MR3), 1:30pm AEDT

1800m Listed 3YO Super Impose Stakes

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: James McDonald, 57kg

Hello hello everyone it’s Craaaaaaazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and haven’t we had a fill-up on Queensland disappointment this week, as the Lions and Broncos both went down, and I managed to pluck out Regal Pom at 7/1!

THE BOUQUET RESIDENCE, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE SPEAKING!

Oh dear, and further to it, in 2021 I lost four figures with a bet on Brisbane to win the AFL premiership, lost another four figures in 2022, and guess what happened in 2023…

I didn’t have a bet, and saved four figures!

How crazy is that!

However, that was then and this is now, and we have to focus on this weekend of racing, and we’ll start at Flemington, with the time-honoured Kiwi connection of Waller & McDonald coming down from Sydney to lay a smackdown on the candy-assed Victorians in Race 4 with Riff Rocket (Sired by the Triple Crown legend American Pharaoh), who warmed up with a solid 2nd placing over the 1800m in the midweek at Rosehill last week, which means he’s more than capable of backing up tomorrow against his own age group, the key addition being the change from Collett to McDonald in the saddle!

Now, completely segueing to something different, I’d like to close this off with a musical theme…

Take it away, Elton John!

And I think it’s gonna be a long, long time
‘Til touchdown brings me ’round again to find
I’m not the man they think I am at home
Oh, no, no, no
I’m a Riff Rocket Man!
Riff Rocket Mannnnn, burning out his fuse up here alone!

P(r)ick No.2: Ducasse (No.7, Barrier 7) E/W in Race 6 at Rosehill (SR6), 3:35pm AEDT

1400m 3YO SW+P Toyota Forklifts Tapp/Craig

Trainer: Michael Freedman, Jockey: Tommy Berry, 55kg

Ever since Jack Miller and Casey Stoner got the flick from Ducati, we stopped riding Bologna Bullets in Australia…

WE NOW RIDE DUCASSES!

P(r)ick No.3: Californication (No.4, Barrier 8) in Race 9 at Kalgoorlie (CR9), 5:01pm AWST

1400m Graduation 60+ Handicap David Reed/Secure Computer Recycling Handicap

Trainer: Paul Rowe, Jockey: Joseph Azzopardi, 57kg

The Red Hot Chilli Peppers pick in the last in the Goldfields, and I reckon two of those lyrics in the song could accurately describe Kalgoorlie:

It’s the edge of the world, end all of western civilization
The Sun may rise in the East, at least it’s settled in the final location…

However, it’s understood that Hollywood sells Californication.

DREAM OF CALIFORNICATION!

Enjoy your GRAND FINAL WEEKEND folks, stay safe, stay negative, GAMBLE WITHIN REASON, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!