Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Now to repeat 96% of the crap I wrote last year:

Well friends, here we are at Derby Day, what used to be the greatest day of the Australian racing calendar, and while Melbourne Cup Day traditionally has the most meetings across the nation, Derby Day is eternally the higher quality day, by virtue of the entire card being Group races, capped off by what is now 3 Group 1s after the Cantala Stakes was moved to Stakes Day last year; The Coolmore Stud Stakes, the Empire Rose Stakes, and the 168th running of the Victoria Derby, plus the Archer Stakes (Formally the Hotham Handicap) to decide the 24th and final spot in the Melbourne Cup, before the vets take out a quarter of the field on Sunday.

In honour of this year’s place in history, the Group 2 Linlithgow Stakes has been renamed The Damien Oliver, named after the bloke with more winners in the Melbourne Cup Carnival than any other jockey, among them the most winners in the VRC Derby (6) and the VRC Oaks (7).

Then there’s the alternative big race north of Wodonga on Derby Day, the Golden Eagle for the 4YOs at Rosehill worth a few kajillion dollars, plus a couple of other sprint races for the horses not good enough to win the Everest (The Giga Kick Stakes for one) and much to my disappointment, Racing NSW can’t be arsed using the Steve Miller Band, or even Ross Wilson of Daddy Cool, to promote a race named after an Eagle.

V’Landys, what an amateur.

Then there’s the John Letts Cup at Morphetville, named after the one and only Lettsy, himself a 2-time Melbourne Cup winning jockey to go with his long career as the mounted interviewer aboard Banjo for Channel 10 & 7, and finishing the day at Ascot, which is in Belmont, it’s the Group 3 double of the Prince Of Wales Stakes and the Asian Beau Stakes, and not many people know that Asian Beau has held the Australian record over 1450m since December of 1978…

The obvious reason being that no sane race club will run a race over 1450m when 1400m will do.

So it’s on to Crazy Craig, and what a miracle it was during the early part of the Moonee Valley card, when Wishlor Lass proceeded to absolutely demolish a poxy field in Race 3, giving our resident lunatic a winner when many would’ve expected him to wet the bed…

Still, that’s what happens with a Good Luck Charm!

The ‘Proof That Crazy Craig Is Insane By Picking The Same Horse From 7 Days Ago’ P(r)ick: Heman (No.2, Barrier 2) in Race 1 at Flemington (MR1), 12:20pm AEDT

1600m Group 3 3YO SW Group 3 Carbine Club Stakes

Trainers: Peter & Paul Snowden, Jockey: Mark Zahra, 57kg

Hello hello hello everyone, it’s Craaaaaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, back once again for another edition of DERBY DAY, 2023 edition, and of course, my favourite fact of Derby Day is that Derby Day 1956 produced the first recorded triple dead heat in the history of Australian racing, when Fighting Force, Ark Royal and Pandie Sun triple dead-heated the Hotham Handicap, allowing all 3 horses to get a start in the Melbourne Cup, although none of them did a damn thing on the Tuesday!

There have only been three official triple dead-heats in Australia since then, and none since the one at Cowra on January 20, 1997!

It’s been that long that back then, Crazy Colin was only 6 cents short of a dollar… now he’s 7 cents short of a dollar!

Anyway, if you want proof that I’m not too far behind, last week I threw Heman in my selections when he ran 4th at Randwick after a shithouse start saw him get too far back, but this time around, I’ll simply say this…

NEEDED THE RUN.

Now up to 1600m, locked in ready to go 3rd Up, if this doesn’t get your gonads pumping, then NOTHING WILL.

The Elton John Pick: Riff Rocket (No.4, Barrier 5) in the VRC Derby at Flemington (MR7), 4:20pm AEDT

2500m 3YO Set Weights Group 1 Penfolds Victoria Derby

Trainer: Chris Waller, Jockey: James McDonald, 57kg

I picked Riff Rocket in his last visit to Flemington on Turnbull Stakes, and it turned out to be one of the biggest landslides since Fleetwood Mac recorded landslide, and despite him stuffing up last start at Caulfield, I simply say LET’S GO AGAIN!

TAKE IT AWAY, SIR ELTON JOHN!

This is an oddly true story, despite training more Group 1 winners in the 21st Century than I’ve consumed stolen beers, Chris Waller somehow only has 2 wins in the VRC Derby… it was 1 prior to Manzoice winning at odds last year (Preferment won as a maiden in 2014)…

Even stranger, that makes him the only trainer with multiple VRC Derby wins in the 21st Century!

The likes of Peter Moody, Ciaron Maher & David Eustace, Darren Weir, David Hayes, Murray Baker, Mick Price, Anthony & James Cummings, Mike Moroney, Anthony & Lee Freedman, Trent Busuttin and even Denis Pagan, only have 1 win apiece.

The OMEN Bet: Ayrton (No.4, Barrier 17) E/W in The Damien Oliver at Flemington (MR9), 5:40pm AEDT

1400m Group 2 Handicap

Trainers: Mick Price & Mick Kent Jnr, Jockey: Mark Zahra, 56.5kg

On to the last, and you know what special reason I’ve deemed Ayrton of all horses as the omen bet?

BECAUSE knackers, Melbourne Cup Day, November 7, whatever you call it, will mark 30 YEARS TO THE DAY that Ayrton Senna won his 41st and final Grand Prix, the 1993 Australian Grand Prix at Adelaide!

What a great way to celebrate the anniversary than by going fast and winning a race!

Crazy Craig’s Other Crappy Major Derby Day Race Picks

I Am Unstoppable (No.10) in the Coolmore Stud Stakes at Flemington

Alcohol Free (No.1) in the Empire Rose Stakes at Flemington

Legarto (No.18) in the Golden Eagle at Rosehill

Enjoy your Saturday folks, STAY DRY, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!