Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Ah, the last Saturday of the Summer (At least officially), and that typically means we’ve arrived at Blue Diamond Stakes Day at Caulfield, the premier day for 2YOs in Victoria, before they go up to Sydney and get clubbed like baby seals in the Golden Slipper.

The other feature Group 1s on the card being the WFA Futurity Stakes over the 1400m, and the 1100m Oakleigh Plate in the second leg of the autumn sprinting treble (Which is back at Caulfield might I add), with only the Newmark Handicap to come in a fortnight…

Outside of that, there appears to be a bucketload of Group 2s, namely the Autumn Classic and the Peter Young Stakes, while Rosehill hosts the Silver Slipper, the Millie Fox Stakes and the Hobartville Stakes, and the other races are either Group 3s or they’re in Perth or Adelaide.

On another note, did you know that the All-Star Mile is in 3 weeks, let alone the All-Star Mile still being a race?

Deadset, a mere 5 horses are confirmed starters, and the way it’s looking, Crazy Craig might be asked to own one of the horses.

And on that note, here’s Crazy Craig with his Good Luck Charm!

P(r)ick No.1: P(r)ick No.2: Tom Kitten (No.1, Barrier 4) in Race 8 at Rosehill (SR8), 4:35pm AEDT

1400m 3YO Group 2 Hobartville Stakes

Trainer: James Cummings, Jockey: Nash Rawiller, 56.5kg

Hello hello everybody it’s Craaaaaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and like many people last week, I was gazumped in Race 9 at Flemington by some pissy little 126/1 shot called Makram!

WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE, SOME BLOKE THAT PLAYS TEST CRICKET FOR SOUTH AFRICA?

IT’S BULLSHIT I TELL YOU!

Anyway, we best move on and focus on the present, and the Rosehill card tomorrow is pretty good, although it is Rosehill, so there’s every chance Peter V’Landys will have allowed the bulldozers in on the grandstand by tomorrow morning….

But hopefully not before Tom Kitten strolls out in the late afternoon and performs like another Tom who sang about cats, the great Sir Tom Jones!

Ooooh I tell you what, hearing that just makes me want to throw my underwear at the screen in delirium, knackers!

P(r)ick No.2: Revolutionary Miss (No.1, Barrier 9) in Race 10 at Caulfield (MR10), 5:35pm AEDT

1400m Group 3 Mares Mannerism Stakes

Trainers: Peter & Paul Snowden, Jockey: Michael Dee, 59kg

Let’s just call this the Tracy Chapman Pick…. because she was a Miss who talked about a Revolution!

P(r)ick No.3: Black Fantasy (No.4, Barrier 12) E/W in Race 8 at Ascot (PR8), 4:55pm AWST

1800m Listed Detonator Stakes

Trainers: Dan & Ben Pearce, Jockey: Clint Johnston-Porter, 57.5kg

With the Amy Winehouse biopic coming out soon, this could be the Amy Winehouse omen bet – Back to Black Fantasty!

We only said goodbye with words
I died a hundred times
You go back to her
And I go back to…

Blaaaaaack… Fantasy.

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!