Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

It seems funny in hindsight that I mentioned Lonhro last week, because the striking black son of Octagonal died today aged 25, which is just short of the 26 wins he achieved from his 35 starts on the track, including 11 Group 1s, later going on to sire 86 stakes winners of 168 stakes races, among them 12 individual Group 1 winners, including the mighty Pierro, Denman, Exosphere, Impending, Kementari, Beaded and Lindermann.

A very rare horse in Australian history, in that he won Australian Champion Racehorse and Australian Champion Sire during their lifetime, something only Vain can claim in the last half century.

So this weekend sees the winding down of the Sydney Autumn Carnival, with the running of the Champagne Stakes to finish off the 2YO Triple Crown, and the All-Aged Stakes to bring up Sydney’s last Group 1 until August.

Other big races on the day include the H.C. Nitschke Stakes at Morphetville as the Adelaide Carnival gets closer to the pinnacle, the Mornington Cup at the worst track in Australia, and unless I’m very much mistaken that race still comes with automatic entry into the Caulfield Cup, there’s some race at Eagle Farm, and Ascot hosts the pinnacle of the Perth Autumn Carnival….

The Karrakatta Plate, into THE QUOKKA.

Honestly, what a Quokka shit… they should’ve swapped the names of the races around so that the greyhound race at Cannington was The Quokka, The Nullarbor would still be the trots race at Gloucester Park, and The Sandgroper should’ve been the horse race.

Unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to see the race live because I’ll be 5 minutes over on the other side of the Swan River at Inglewood, doing nothing of note.

So on that note it’s on to Crazy Craig, and there’s a great Chinese proverb that broken clocks are right twice a day, which was appropriate for Crazy Craig, because he was correct twice on Saturday, and it wasn’t with 2 favourites, both his winners jumped at close enough to 6/1….

I can only imagine the $50 notes that appeared in front of mothers with prams across Bairnsdale this week, all because of Crazy Craig’s Good Luck Charm!

The Paul McCartney P(r)ick: Kintyre (No.4, Barrier 1) in Race 4 at Randwick (SR4) 1:15pm AEST

2000m 3YO Group 3 Frank Packer Plate

Trainer: Gary Portelli, Jockey: Jamie Kah, 56.5kg

Hello hello everybody it’s Craaaaaaazy Craig, TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and after last week they might make the Mayor as well, BECAUSE I WAS THAT BLOODY GOOD!

2 BLOODY WINNERS KNACKERS, THAT’S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DONATE SCRATCHIES TO THE LESS FORTUNATE, AND GIVE BANK NOTES TO YOUNG MOTHERS – Good things come to those who perform good things!

Anyway, there’s a line out the front of the Bowling Club containing people who want to apologise and kiss my arse, but I can’t be arsed seeing them until Sunday, so in the meantime we’re off to Randwick early in the card, and I think I picked the old Mull of Kintyre a few weeks ago and he didn’t win, which is the exact same thing I did with A Lot Of Good Men until last Saturday…

So that said, here’s Wings!

The Hunters & Collectors P(r)ick: Sea What I See (No.3, Barrier 6) in Race 7 at Mornington (MR7), 3:20pm AEST

BM78 2000m Handicap

Trainer: Danny O’Brien, Jockey: Jamie Mott, 59kg

How appropriate that a bloke named O’Brien would train an Irish horse from Ireland…

In the meantime, here’s Hunters and Collectors with a tribute to the favourite for Race 7… DO YOU SEA WHAT I SEE.

P(r)ick No.3: King of Sparta (No.2, Barrier 4) E/W in Race 8 at Ascot (PR8), 3:45pm AWST

1200m SWFA The Quokka

Trainers: Peter & Paul Snowden, Jockey: Blake Shinn, 58.5kg

The Quokka is madness!

MADNESS?

THIS.

IS.

KING OF SPARTA!

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!