Based on a series of plausible events in a regional Victorian town

Bonjour wee knackers, it’s Crazy Craig TBFB, Scratchie King of Bairnsdale, and I’m captivated by the Olympic Games, because much like the French, I’m impartial to a reign of terror, espcially on people who think they’re royalty...

Hello to you, Crazy Colin.

But we’ll skip that part of French history, which they prefer to forget more than when Tina Arena lived there, because we’ve got the last Saturday of the racing season to look at…

And when you’ve got an Olympic Games starting in Paris on SUPER SATURDAY, you need to look for a horse with an OMEN name, and look no further than….

Allez Allez (No.4, Barrier 5) in Race 5 at Belmont (PR5), 2:14pm AWST (4:14)

1600m 78+ Rating Handicap

Trainer: Michael Lane, Jockey: Brad Parnham, 56.5kg

It’s as if Michael Lane timed this to absolute perfection, 2nd Up off a 7-week let-up, right in time for the billions of eyes of the world to be on France for the first time since the 1998 World Cup, when a certain Ricky Martin unleashed the great audio soundtrack that was The Cup of Life, which contained the chorus lyrics…

ALLEZ ALLEZ ALLEZ!

Still, that isn’t actual French music, unlike this 1978 masterpiece from Patrick Hernandez that you feel born to be alive!

Enjoy your weekend folks, stay safe, stay negative, KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD, and remember, I’m Crazy Craig, and that’s why they call me Craaaaaazy Craig!